We've got so many different personas on here I was wondering that if we all got together and started a big company, what job each of us would do. How about we nominate ourselves and other members for positons within a company?

To start the ball rolling I would like to vote in biggbn or QJ as Managing Directors of the company.

Palmira could be resources/facilities manager (which would include company cars - Merc's only by the way! Mwahahahahaha....)

I would like to be in sales.

MBD could be Human Resources Manager!

I will polish the gigglin pins and insert them in the laffinshaft and stand around the service department muttering things like "they all do that" and "it must be the twisty bit that's broken"

quote:

Originally posted by Roma:
MBD could be Human Resources Manager!

Would that not scare away potential recruits??

Also, not sure I'd want Palmira to be fleet manager - we'd all HAVE to drive Mercs. I'll take the cash allowance instead and buy something I'd really want!

I was told years ago I was 'unemployable' and have worked for myself for many years. So I'd have to put in charge and left to do my own thing !

Consulting sounds like my kind of thing -

"If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be
made in prolonging the problem."

I would vote for Biggbn as spokesman due to his diplomacy skills and bringing balance to things.

MBD would be Office Junior, so we could marginalize him as much as possible..

I would be on the technology arm, bringing in high performance techology to speed things up a bit!

quote:

Originally posted by dja771:
Also, not sure I'd want Palmira to be fleet manager - we'd all HAVE to drive Mercs. I'll take the cash allowance instead and buy something I'd really want!

We'll have to see what Palmira says about company car policy.

Can i lay claim to media relations? I can bullsh1t with the best of them and hand out the flat denials and bare-faced lies when things start to go wrong.

"I can categorically state that the recent incident involving two of our staff and the photocopy roller was an unfortunate accident and no way a deliberate act sparked by a discussion of the merits of japanese cars"

I would rather be retired...but prepared to contribute on a consultancy basis....cos that way I'd get paid more!

besides, I can't 'manage' me way out of a paper bag...let alone show someone else the exit!

Educational consultant.

Please don't put me in charge of logistics though - being a Geography teacher guarantees that you always get lost and don't read maps properly.

biggbn should be in charge of purchasing and supply.

quote:

Originally posted by queenjane:
I would rather be retired...but prepared to contribute on a consultancy basis....cos that way I'd get paid more!

besides, I can't 'manage' me way out of a paper bag...let alone show someone else the exit!

Okay, QJ you can be a non-executive board member. We still need an MD to actually run the company!

quote:

Originally posted by raoulduke:
Can i lay claim to media relations? I can bullsh1t with the best of them and hand out the flat denials and bare-faced lies when things start to go wrong.

"I can categorically state that the recent incident involving two of our staff and the photocopy roller was an unfortunate accident and no way a deliberate act sparked by a discussion of the merits of japanese cars"

Excellent BS potential! You can be Marketing Director!

Surely, the most obvious one we are missing is Palmira for company chauffer!

Do we have a financial controller yet? I'm not volunteering, but I'd like someone to sign off my requisition for the 911 Turbo.

company cars...

...alfisti...alfa sz coupe..il monstro and a '35 bimotor for fun....

...qj....dellow trials car and allard j2 big block for fun

...palmira...mercedes benz 450 sel 6.9...does palmy have fun??...oh yes, very last of the series 3 shaped daimler double six for the wweekend

...mbd....a bmw issetta bubble car 3 wheeler and a bmw issetta bubble car 4 wheeler for fun...

....raoulduke....a big red cadillac convertible from the seventies so he can ride this crazy torpedo right to the end and a big bore 2170cc nitrous injected beetle for fun...

...corvette man...a bond bug..(so he can see that not all plastic sports two seaters with dubious handling charecteristics are the fastest cars on the road from a to b)...and a top of the range callaway fettled vette for fun, jus for all the grief iv given him over the months...

obviously i would have

monday..tatra 603
tuesday..maserati bora
wed..porsche 356
thurs...citroen traction avant
frid...2cv sahara
sat...fully restored splitty camper for the weekends.....

...oh and i get to change my cars whenever, y'all gotta keep yours....

...apologies to anyone i missed out..these were just the ones that jumped into my head...

Hmm...who could be financial controller? We need someone that can make a car run for a year for 50p to make our company successful.

Who posted something about using cooking oil instead of diesel a while ago?

...guilty m'lud....great alternative fuel..my old jeep smelt like a slowly baking potatoe....

..thats a potato with feet that is..a potatoe..d'oh

so...biggbn is a fan of....Shrek, Toystory, erm...

quote:

I'd like to be CEO. That means I can sit on my @rse all day and feed my company goldfish while delegating all the jobs I don't want to do

I'm glad I'd be retired...I'm not sure I'd like being fed goldfish..

quote:

Originally posted by dja771:
Surely, the most obvious one we are missing is Palmira for company chauffer!

Do we have a financial controller yet? I'm not volunteering, but I'd like someone to sign off my requisition for the 911 Turbo.

and our company is.........SCALEXTRIC?

Head of IT (Cause I'm a final year Computing student), I'm clearly qualified to tell someone to try switching it off and then on again

Okay, we're nearly there. We need nominations for:

Managing Director

Erm...that's it...

Is there a vacancy for Delivery Driver or something do do with Warehouse/Stock or valeting & arranging servicing of the fleet?

PS: Although I have a degree in Human Resources and enjoyed the subject area, I've worked in an HR office before and the junior Admin experience pretty much sent me to sleep.

quote:

Originally posted by MattW:
Is there a vacancy for Delivery Driver or something do do with Warehouse/Stock or valeting & arranging servicing of the fleet?

PS: Although I have a degree in Human Resources and enjoyed the subject area, I've worked in an HR office before and the junior Admin experience pretty much sent me to sleep.

MattW: Warehouse Manager?