So when do we get our company cars then? Red Mini Cooper S please with the black and white checked roof

quote:

Originally posted by BeckyM:
So when do we get our company cars then? Red Mini Cooper S please with the black and white checked roof

Do some work first!

I'll be head of staff cloning
http://www.pbase.com/image/55853298

ok, maybe just a valeter,
"Oops the the circle thing on the bonnet of this Merc has fallen off"

quote:

Originally posted by Milky:
I'll be head of staff cloning
http://www.pbase.com/image/55853298

ok, maybe just a valeter,
"Oops the the circle thing on the bonnet of this Merc has fallen off"

Hey Zak, Computer says "no". i.e. the link isn't working!

you had better go and report to the head of IT because the link works for me!

Where are our offices then?

Germany, Italy, France and HQ in Japan?

quote:

Originally posted by dja771:
Where are our offices then?

Germany, Italy, France and HQ in Japan?

Longbridge is empty right now...

Questions, questions. Where is our MD??? Actually, who is our MD?

What's the MD's pay? I may be interested. I only want to work 4 days a week as I do now though!

I was once MD of a cooperative company (OK, I was 13 at the time and we made badges, but hey ho, MD none the less!!)

i could be in charge of customer relations/service and complaints,
the customer is never right.............
ask my local ford dealer

Thank you for my promotion from valet apprentice.

I say company car policy is this:

I do a deal with one of the big manufacturers which offers a good, wide range of quality cars cars... These would be our Standard company car. If you are happy to drive one of the range this manufacturer offers, so be it, and you get it as a fully expensed company car. As a car enthusiast company, it must be kept in good condition.

If you want to opt out, that is fine, and you get a salary increase to cover it and claim back business mileage.

The only stipulation is that you must choose something interesting and worth owning. Then youd have to have a meeting with me so that I can hear your reason for choosing it and why it is interesting. Being a petrolhead company, we dont want any ordinary boring cars!

Sound reasonable?


How about DJA for our International Relations Manager for the Far East, and Biggbn as shop steward for the (socialist) union...

Noxide = Logistics Manager - he drives so fast that all our products would be delivered yesterday.

quote:

Originally posted by biggbn:
company cars...

...alfisti...alfa sz coupe..il monstro and a '35 bimotor for fun....

...qj....dellow trials car and allard j2 big block for fun

...palmira...mercedes benz 450 sel 6.9...does palmy have fun??...oh yes, very last of the series 3 shaped daimler double six for the wweekend

...mbd....a bmw issetta bubble car 3 wheeler and a bmw issetta bubble car 4 wheeler for fun...

....raoulduke....a big red cadillac convertible from the seventies so he can ride this crazy torpedo right to the end and a big bore 2170cc nitrous injected beetle for fun...

...corvette man...a bond bug..(so he can see that not all plastic sports two seaters with dubious handling charecteristics are the fastest cars on the road from a to b)...and a top of the range callaway fettled vette for fun, jus for all the grief iv given him over the months...

obviously i would have

monday..tatra 603
tuesday..maserati bora
wed..porsche 356
thurs...citroen traction avant
frid...2cv sahara
sat...fully restored splitty camper for the weekends.....

...oh and i get to change my cars whenever, y'all gotta keep yours....

...apologies to anyone i missed out..these were just the ones that jumped into my head...

Fantastic!

Permission to build a garage on the company site so that staff can keep these cars under cover during work hours please?

quote:

Originally posted by Palmira:
How about DJA for our International Relations Manager for the Far East.

Only if I don't have to report to you!

Haha biggbn i love the Isetta idea that was absolutely hilarious!

I am standing down my post and going to go back to chauffeuring and be the company chauffeur as DJA suggested - biggbn you can have my job as Fleet Manager youre much better at it than me that post was very very funny and well thought out.

Afterall I find it hard enough managing my own fleet of 4 cars let alone a huge fleet like this lot..

I look forward to receiving my 450 SEL 6.9 so that i can chauffeur the top brass - DJA, Biggbn, khanie etc in & out of London, England to their respective departments in the north, and west, which are thousands of miles away from England

...socialist...wash your mouth out...my only politics are realist....apoint me md and i will be a benevelant dictator type...almost like a friendly uncle...everyone will be equal, just i will be more equal than everyone else....ha ha...its a great thread, good idea...if y'all need security, i'm pretty well connected in that area too......

Biggbn wouldnt need to be a self-appointed dictator - we are already all scared of him anyway!

quote:

do a deal with one of the big manufacturers which offers a good, wide range of quality cars cars... These would be our Standard company car.

I'm not sure I'd want an old Standard as a company car?

quote:

socialist...wash your mouth out...my only politics are realist....apoint me md and i will be a benevelant dictator type

's funny...Benito (benny for short) Mussolini used that line.....

He did make the trains run on time, as Italians like to remind people ! It is about the only thing in Italy that works properly

george 'benito mussolini' formby....hangin off a lampost on the corner of the street...'

I warn you now, we'll be bankrupt in about a week. We're all going to need a lot more than 40p a mile to run our company motors, except MBD. Although i reckon bggbn's ones probably balance each other out.

As the new boy I nominate myself for tea-boy!

Have to warn you tho tea making skills not up to much which is kinda good, you would all be glad when I phone in sick three times a week!

quote:

Originally posted by Roma:

MBD could be Human Resources Manager!

Like it!

I work in the law profession, useful?

This is what I have so far:

MBD: HR Manager
Palmira: Facilities Manager (inc. Company cars)
Tomark: Service Manager
Alfisti: Consultant
Noxide: Technical Services Manager
raoulduke: Marketing and PR Director
queenjane: Non-executive Director
khanie: Education Services Manager
AndyCardiff: CEO
BeckyM: IT Director
MattW: Logistics Manager
Milky: Valeter (working for MattW)
ivane: Customer Services Manager (working for Tomark)
CupraNut: Catering Manager (aka tea-boy!)
Roma: Sales Director
biggbn: Finance Director

Managing Director: <open>

Okay, we've been given a £10m to start our company by investors. That allows us to be somewhat extravagent on fully-expensed company cars. We've been told that we each have a budget of £50K to buy a company car. It must be a brand new car that is currently available.

What *current* new car would you choose. Bear in mind the £50K must include any options you choose and must be the on the road price including VAT and road tax. If possible, provide a link where the cost can be verified.

I'll start the ball rolling with the following:

http://www.porsche.co.uk

Porsche Cayman S with:
- satnav
- auto-dimming mirrors
- leather sports seats
- Bose
- Climate
- Metallic paint
- Parking sensors
- Heated seats
- CD changer
- Sports steering wheel
- Porsche crest on headrests
- Xenons
- Carbon door entry guards

That comes in just over £50K so i'll have to grovel to Palmira (Facilities Manager) to get that through.