Yes-I was badly bullied and didn't turn to drugs or crime.I repeat-what did the school do to help Lydia against the bullies?
Georgie-I was distessed to read that you thought you needed to go to a boot camp.I'm sure you're underestimating yourself.

The school did nothing even the police were involved, so her parents pulled her out of the school and reported them to the LEA.

The Local Education Authority !

well I think we can say that some kids have genuine issues whatever their background, but I think its no coincidence half these kids have squirrelous mothers who let them walk all over them and clueless stilted fathers.
mrrph! you see that type on supernan to.

Bullying effects people in different ways, for Lydia it would seem that she turned to drugs as an escape and a way to gain acceptance from a group of people.
I myself was bullied from primary school all the way up until I left secondary school. It wears down any confidence one has in oneself and destroys any self-esteem.
I also fell down the same path as Lydia with regards to drugs, only stopping after I took a bad hit, was persuaded to stop self medicating and to see a doctor by my best friend at the time.
At least Lydia realises that she needs to turn her life around and get herself sorted out. As long as she stays off the drugs and away from people who would pressure her into taking them she should do fine

Just as an afterthought, I don't think schools treat bullying as seriously as it should be. Yes there is always the token "don't be a bully" lecture and "beat the bully" schemes but they don't work. When it comes down to dealing with chronic bullying, from my experience the proper support for the victim and the bully is not given. It is allowed to continue in the hope that it just goes away on it's own without thought for the damage that bullying can do.

I blame the bullies. From my own personal experience it was having to put up with bullying from the age of 5 that made me go off the rails. I actually used to hang out with Poppy a couple of years back when she was 13. Compared to some of the people I hung out with, she wasn't bad at all. Anyway, I was bullied and self harming and turned to drugs as a way of being accepted by people and blocking all the pain out. It was splitting up with my boyfriend (who was a really nasty piece of work) that convinced me to change, quit drugs and sort myself out. I now am doing A Levels and have a part time job.
Anyway, too many people go on about how these are these awful brats and blame the parents, but don't bother to think about their experiences and what they have been through in their lifetime. You're right not everyone eho is bullied goes on to drugs, but everyone has different personalities and different ways of coping with what they've been through.

quote:

i agree with pinkslippers. you can only really comment on what these girls go through if you are young. there are so many more pressures out there now. i know because i am a teenager and i was bullied at my old school and i self harmed because of it. i then started smoking to try and fit in and i was suddenely accepted. i am tryin 2 quit smoking but its really hard.

words of wisdom right there /sarcasm.
teens throughout the eons have gone through exactly the same things.
bullys and peer pressure are not new and exciting concepts.
you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

quote:

Originally posted by Cornwell:
Lots of people were badly bullied. They didn't turn to drugs or crime though.

It's a reason, but it's not an excuse.

Exactly.
I'd also argue that if they're hooked on drugs then yes, it is a question of affluence - where else would they get the money to buy the stuff?

Angelil - I don't mean to be rude, but honestly, where do you think all the poor kids who are hooked on drugs get the money from? Drugs are very far from the reserve of the wealthy - on the contrary, they are widely used among much less affluent people. If you want the money for drugs it doesn't make a blind bit of difference how much you can scam or steal from your parents, because there's always someone outside of the home to get it from. Take it from someone who knows.

ipsilon,
to quote from poppys page on this website

"I can't believe that she loses every mobile phone that I've given her. I'm sure that she's probably sold them to buy drink and drugs."

STOP GIVING HER MOBILE PHONES THEN!!!!

at least if you're forced to scam or steal outside of home there is a greater risk of you being caught by the police or getting into some kind of serious trouble and receiving a wakeup call.

Poppy has had 4 mobiles since she was 11 - the last 2 of which were very old hand-me-downs, given to try and keep tabs on her. Please don't assume that her parents threw money at her - that was not the case.

you mean in this day and age the only way to keep track of your child is to give them a mobile phone?
how in the world did parents cope 10 years ago
My point still stands, if you think she's selling the phones to buy drinks and drugs then don't give her anymore phones, hand me downs or not.

I agree, 10 years ago it was different. That was then, this is now. My point was more that we didn't buy her new mobile phones and the hand me downs she received instead, she couldn't give them away - let alone sell them! I'm not justifying and I'm not saying that we did the right or wrong thing I was just responding to your comment 'don't buy her mobile phones!'

ooops.... your post said 'give' not 'buy'. My mistake.

I didn't say don't buy her phones, I said stop giving her phones. the word "buy" never came into it.
If the hand me downs were unsellable then why do you think she sold them for drugs and alcohol? even the most worthless of phones will get a tenner of someone who needs a cheap phone to keep them going.
What's so different now from ten years ago that a phone is essential for a child?
Regardless, buying a phone to keep track of your child is nothing more than a false investment and gives misplaced security. If they don't want to be found they turn it off or don't answer.
May I ask, has poppy ever had a part time job?

quote:

Originally posted by euclidian:
I didn't say don't buy her phones, I said stop giving her phones. the word "buy" never came into it.
If the hand me downs were unsellable then why do you think she sold them for drugs and alcohol? even the most worthless of phones will get a tenner of someone who needs a cheap phone to keep them going.
What's so different now from ten years ago that a phone is essential for a child?
Regardless, buying a phone to keep track of your child is nothing more than a false investment and gives misplaced security. If they don't want to be found they turn it off or don't answer.
May I ask, has poppy ever had a part time job?

It is quite understandable that you make your assessments on the girls and their families based on what you have read in the press and seen on television, afterall, that's all you have to go on.
It's difficult to explain what it's like to be interviewed about someone so close to you, during a time when your emotions are raw, you are emotionally exhausted and feeling very stressed. In the midst of a conversation you might say one or two things that describe a particular event or a time which is a truthful statement in the context of a wider issue. However, once this statement is isolated from the rest of the sentence, it has a different inference and that's what happened in this instance.
I agree about mobile phones - they're the bane of my life and personally I hate them. I am always forgetting to switch mine on, or even take mine with me and I have my family berating me for this! However, they are an excellent way for parents to keep in touch with, and tabs on their children. As you've said, they're useless when the kids just turn them off, defeating the purpose. From experience, I certainly wouldn't argue with that.
Poppy did not receive pocket money for over a year and we insisted she got a job, which she did..... several, in fact. Poppy never had a problem with GETTING a job, her difficulty was in KEEPING it! I am delighted to say that she has a new weekend job, which she started a couple of months ago, is enjoying and it's going extremely well for her.

I understand now, thanks for clearing that up

Glad Poppy has had a job in the past, at least it will give her some essential work experience and hopefully make her realise that work in a dead end, mindless job is not fun; the only way around that is school and education.
Is she planning on attending collage? it may be worth seeing if she is entitled to the new '£30 a week to attend collage' scheme launched by the govt a while ago as an incentive.

Yes, Poppy has already arranged a place to study A levels and is very keen to go on to University. She mentioned the new Govt initiative to me the other day and my immediate response was that education is a privilege and it's free (until uni)! I'm not sure how I feel about kids being paid to stay in college - unless there is serious hardship. Surely if they take their education seriously, then that should be enough? And if they are not taking it seriously, why are the continuing - is it just for the money? However, I'm sure Poppy will investigate whether or not she can apply and if she chooses to take it, then I shall encourage her to put it towards funding uni!

sounds great, I hope she is able to stick with it and make it to uni
About the govt scheme...I understand what you mean about not taking a benifit unless you need it, I was sickened by seeing people take advantage of the access fun at university because they need more beer money when that could go to people who actually need a grant.
From my past experience though, I found A-levels to be one of the toughest times of my life. The jump between GCSE and A-level is huge as is the increase in workload. £30 per week really is not much but it may be enough to reduce the need for a part time job (you know how expensive tastes get) which usually eats into study time and puts undue stress on the student.

I don't think students would go to collage just because of the money. They could earn so much more working full time instead.

Good luck to poppy anyway