We havn't had on of these yet, so let the quotes roll.

'a plan! let me put on my slightly larger glasses.'

probably not quite right...

Moss and his Mum when he's in the toilet doing the dating profile online

Mum: 'I hope you're not clogging up the toilet again'
Moss: 'Oh Mum, why do you ALWAYS do this - you're making it go back in....'

and then...Roy and Moss talking...

Roy: 'If you were a mass murderer what would you call yourself?'
Moss: 'I'd call myself The Gardener..and I'd leave a rose at the scene of every crime...'
Roy: 'And what would your murder weapon be?'
Moss: 'A Hammer...'

There are far too many to list, so here are the ones which first came to mind

Episode 1:-

"Team Team Team, i even love saying it, team, you probably think that this is a picture of my family, no its the A Team"

Episode 2:-

"Nice Screensaver"

Episode 3:-

"How about we have a cup of tea? Water perhaps? how about a little lie down?"

Moss: 'I'm 32 years old, I work in IT in a Basement. Of course I do internet dating'

or

Moss: 'Hello...Jen...The spider is now upon my person...'

"Don't google the question, Moss!!!"

That made me literally collapse in laughter.

(BTW that was in Ep. 4 which I downloaded so you won't get it for a while if you don't download it.)

"Up all night, and you used to see 8 women" --> not sure if that is a pr0n reference or not, but it rocks

I have two:

Roy: "We don't need no education..."
Moss: "Yes you do you just used a double negative"

And the second:

Jen: "What? Whats funny?"
Moss: "This circuit board Jen, some Chump has run the data supplier straight through the power supply. Haha I've got tears in my eyes."

Both of which are form Episode 4
I can think of many more but i can't be bothered to type them up.

"dear sir or madam,

help! fire! fire!

(can't remember the address for reynholm)

i look forward to hearing from you

maurice moss"

and all the 'no, that's too formal' stuff... i can't remember it exactly, but was class...

I think it was something like:-

"
Dear sir/Madam,
A fire has currently broken out in the vecinity of...

No thats too formal" (Followed by loads of back spaces

"Here's me saying some stuff to some pretty important people"

Then

"Here's me with a graph"

Hilarious!!

Moss:- "You had a job then?"
Roy:- "Girl on fith"
Moss:- "Did you and her hit it off?"
Roy:- "No"

Richmond: and this one..
Richmond: flash, flash, flash
Richmond: and wait for it...
Richmond: takes a while, here it comes
Richmond: Double Flash!!
Richmond: Brilliant
Jen: wow
Jen: it's obvious you're going mad

Moss: "Notice anything different?"
Roy: "What?"
Moss: "Guess"
Roy: "Uhhh your eyes, something wrong with your eyes"
Moss: "No...I have a new cup, what's wrong with my eyes?"
Roy: "Well it's not very distinctive is it? How's anyone supposed to know its yours?"
Moss: "Theres a picture on it."
Roy: "Nooooo there isn't"
Moss: "Yes there is"
Roy: "NO there isn't Moss!"

briliant quotes, fantastic! This show is so cool!

Moss(about fire extinguisher fire): I'll just put this over here with the rest.

Moss: I don't think that's fair because I want a go and I think Roy should be punished for nearly killing that woman.

Wow, all the best quotes are by Moss!

And there was all that stuff about, do you want to phone a friend.


Oh yes and: Fire Exclamation mark, Help Me Exclamation mark. (Me and my sister keep quoting that)

quote:

I'll just put this over here with the rest.

There should be 'of the fire' at the end of that, but its really difficult to hear due to the laughter

Yeh, I thought it it would have made more sence with of the fire at the end.

Lol, don't worry, it is extreamly difficult to hear... you are forgiven lol

"Nice screensaver" and "I like the way the smoke seems to be coming from the top off it"

Probably not *exact*

The hot squash was good, but fave so far:
Richmond, at the grave side
"Cradle of Filth, Got me through some pretty bleak times, try track 4 , coffin fodder"

"Would I blow everyone's mind if I ate desert first"

Here are a few...

(typing on the computer)
What do you want?!
-I... just wondered if you wanted me to plug your computer in...?

AND

It... It's not shit! (wipes finger over it and eats it) ... ITS CHOCOLATE!

AND

Dear sir or madam, no... to formal.
FIRE ... exclamation mark. FIRE ... exclamation mark. HELP ... exclamation mark.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Moss : " yes im a resturant type, why wouldnt i be a resturant type.......cheese stick? "

lol! Great quotes people!