Would people help me with my dating profile?

It would appear the mods of the dating website don't allow brutal honesty. I have tried to put thirty-something geek, living with parents, no social skills seeks highly attractive, wealthy female with own car and house. The mods wouldn't approve it.

They don't allow one line profiles and seem to have a problem with people mentioning money or anything specific really.

I'm well stuck now for something to write, I'd be grateful for suggestions.

What did Moss have as his dating profile?

Moss' dating profile was simply:

I'm going to murder you, you bloody woman!

Roy's was:

"Shut up! Do what I tell you! I'm not interested!" These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad!

I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself!

ps - No dogs!

quote:

They don't allow one line profiles and seem to have a problem with people mentioning money or anything specific really.

I find that rather strange. When I used online agencies, a few years ago now I admit, I remember some women saying the very same thing you have. Some even used to specify salary brackets they expected of potential respondents!!

My thoughts were that if I was on £60-70k p.a. I wouldn't be on a dating forum!! I'd probably be in Stringfellows!

But I suppose it depends on the agency.

Thanks for Moss's and Roy's profiles, I remembered Moss's was something like that.

He's a great inspiration to me.

As to your second reply, there seems to be different rules for men and women. The women's profiles can be as short as they want and mention wages as you say. If I try that sort of thing after a couple of days I get an email saying my profile has reverted to my previous one and quotes all sort of rules at me.

I'm also at a disadvantage as I don't sky dive, rock climb or trek across the deserts of the world as most of the male population of the dating website world seem to do.

Could they be making things up to impress women? Does it work?

Wealthy, handsome, information worker suddenly finds himself single. When not reading the classics or studying for my pyschology degree I enjoy a quick parachute jump, a tortuous climb up the rockface or a quick jaunt around the world.

What do this people do when the start dating but don't actually do any of the things in their profile?

I have edited my dating profile to -

"Shut up", "Do what I tell you", "I'm not interested" These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself. P.S. - No dogs.

Thanks External Floppy for the quote.

We'll have to see if the mods approve it.

My experiences of dating agencies was somewhat woeful. I think that even tho I'm a good lookin' fella (my words, not theirs. Lol), women couldn't get past the long hair I had at the time. It was the 'good' sort of long hair mind, women were soooo jealous!!

You must remember women don't do originality (maybe that's why they have slightly looser rules on these things). I remember about 90% of the women going by a profile name which was some variant/reference of/to Bridget Jones. Ie, BridgetJones69, BridgetJonesLondon, LookingForDarcy123...etc. Yaaawwwn!! Also, practically every profile ended with "...or a night in with a video & a bottle of wine."

I used to show my profile blurbs to friends at work, and they'd say they were works of art. I used to spend hours/days dreaming them up (I did one littered with Queen song titles for a laugh, if I find it I'll post it for ya). It's just that women couldn't get past the photo, so they probably never read them!

My advice (from experience) is this:

Don't put a photo on, or if you do make it B&W or make sure you're gorgeous.

Don't be original, just say the basics & maybe drop in the odd chick-flick title.

Don't lie, but stretch that thruth til it hurts! (You're not a shelf stacker, you're a stock maintenance technician). Lol.

Keep it short-ish, they have short attention spans. Bless 'em!

Mention how much you adore the children in your life, ie nieces, nephews, next door's little 'darlings'. Funnily enough, this sort of talk endears them to you, but saying you'd love your own has them running away like the wind.

About them:

If they say they're "mad" or "crazy!!", they're either ditch-water dull or are genuinely certifiable.

If they use "My friends describe me as...", read no further and move on! If she can't think of something to type on a profile, you won't get a conversation out of her!

Single women have cats (note the plural).

They lie about their physical appearance, knocking off at least one dress size. Large women avoid that concept altogether by calling themselves 'medium' or 'average' build. (You could use that to your advantage depending on your preference to women's sizes obviously)

Despite what they say or have experienced, women NEVER change their 'type'!! If you don't resemble their last 3 boyfriends, you ain't got a prayer!

Hope that's of some use to you, and be careful...it's a jungle out there! Lol.

Something I've noticed, how many women's photos are taken from above, looking down, quite often she has a low top on.

Could just be I've a dirty mind though.

quote:

Originally posted by Versatile IT Worker:
Something I've noticed, how many women's photos are taken from above, looking down, quite often she has a low top on.

Could just be I've a dirty mind though.

I've just double checked my above statement and it's true!

The profiles and photos sometimes don't seem to match. I.e. - "I'm shy and like country walks" but the photo seems to be trying to say something else! lol

Come on love you know the photo's your main pic wear a cardigan.

I'm one of those old men who say she was asking for it because of the clothes she was wearing aren't I?

I've gone too far, sorry. Still it's all in the spirit of The IT Crowd though isn't it?

quote:

Something I've noticed, how many women's photos are taken from above, looking down, quite often she has a low top on.

Y'see?! They think all they have to do is flash a bit of 'cleave' and we'll melt...well, ok they're right. But the point is this: Having the best cleavage still won't stop a telling off/strop if they insist on phoning their mom during the snooker!

...it's all about priorities innit?