He materialises beside you just as you were about to make a personal phone call.

His skin has a greenish tinge to it.

He keeps using your Nivea cream to rub on his scales.

Jokes confuse him.

He combs his fringe over his third eye.

He has no concept of 'the lunch hour'

He appears by your desk just as your computer has crashed and your stuck on a job vacancies website.

He can teleport 'Outside the box' whilst 'Blue Sky thinking'.

Staff turnover is suspiciously high, but you never actually get to say "good-bye" to anyone.

When he's actually capable of doing his job better than you could...

His eyes flash when the printer jams and his ears glow when a fax comes through. (And my, what long pointy ears he has got!)

he invades Rigel V on the orders of emperor Zorg

You've just been ordered to 'Destroy Captain Kirk' and then you can go for lunch

You ask for a 'raise'... And find yourself levitating in some sort of tractor beam...

He misses Harry Potter

... he tells you to get on with your work and you're self-employed

They not only use but actually understand the word "paradigm"

They have no interest in Golf.

They know you by name.

You have a comfortable working environment, and actually enjoy working for your boss.



All signs that your boss isn't human.

...he is always 'there' - he/she never seems to go 'home'. Know what I'm saying? I mean, how do they operate with zero sleep, day after day?

He seems very keen to 'phone home' at every opportunity...

... he gives the drinks machine verbal commands.

... he comes back from his summer holiday with a moon tan.

... he's often spotted sitting on the urinal in the mens' toilet.

... he complains because his company car hasn't got a warp drive.

... he's scared of the office plant.

He mentions, in passing, that the commute every morning from the planet Zog is a real pain in the jacksie...

He always has mashed potato in his lunch-box.

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
He always has mashed potato in his lunch-box.

...and doesn't eat it, but instead consults with it on important decisions.

There are always ridiculous amounts of paper-clips on the stationery order. Who on earth would want that many paper-clips?

You know your boss is an alien when..

He parks his flying saucer in a 'Director only' space, doesn't he know there'll be ructions?

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
There are always ridiculous amounts of paper-clips on the stationery order. Who on earth would want that many paper-clips?

I like those coloured paper clips you can get - they jazz things up a bit more than the plain silver...

Try colour-coding them to celebrate the various seasons... Yellow for Easter, Orange and Brown in the Autumn, White and Red for Christmas and so on... It amuses me, anyway...

Not so funny when an alien is operating on you with them...

.....he appears to have human characteristics.

His warp-drive melts holes in the office carpet.