Sorry to take so long to reply, but some of us do have a life. Not much of one I grant yer, but...
Glad you are out of the bog. I've been here 3 days with my ogs crossed.
Your charm, wit and omnipotence have inspired me over the weeks. Since limericks are de rigeur at the moment, I feel compelled to offer these:
There was an old man called Frankie Who went to the bog for a w***kie He found the right page Went into a rage. And turned green when he couldn't find a hankie
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross To see a fine lady ride on a white horse With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes And a meatfork right through her head
Little Miss Moffat Sat on her Tuffet Eating her curds and way There came a big spider which sat down beside her So she ate that too.
Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie He put in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said, What the ****'s that doing in here?
Today's exercise Frankie and chums is to complete the following:
There was PM named Blair Whose speeches were full of hot air When asked why the frown He said it's that Gordon Brown ..........................
And why has no one congratulated me on receiving my third star? What's that all star stuff about anyway? Anyone can see how many posts you've made- it says so at the bottom! Why the stars? It's nothing to do with primary school and free milk for good behaviour. I believe it to be a conspiracy. Oh yes! Keep the punters happy- give them shiny stars and they won't notice that their ideas have been passed onto ' more established comedy writers..' Oh yes! And Frankie, for all we humble laptop loonies know, you may well be part of it! For example, How come you have all the ideas and never made a speling mistake? The 4 laughs team feed you all the material. Go on. admit it! You are part of the conspiracy. You're a plant. A sleeper! (see earlier in this thread when you admitted you were snoozing). And what's more I don't think you ever went to Hollywood! Unless I am made Colonel In Chief of the Escape Committee and awarded an extra star without question, I'll have to contact Claims Direct! But Frankie my dear, I don't give a damn- as long as I've got my stars, I'm sure all will be well.
BTW I'll swap you 3 silver stars for one of those goldie ones. Go on!
You've gone quiet. Bet you're drinking ASSti spewmanti and singing, 'MULE never walk alone' whilst reading 'DONKEY otay' All that when you should be sending out the party invites (SEE above)
They'll all be in here when the word gets around, Brian, just you wait and see mate!
Frankie xxx
................................................ But the closing date for the limerick competition closes in 15 years or when the new site is launched, whichever is latest. Only one entry so far. Have you sent out the invites? If this turns into Abigail's Party I'll blame you. Maybe Channel 4 team could arrange some free advertising in exchange for not reporting them under the Trade Descriptions Act. Maybe we should set up a 'shadow '4laughs team. You can continue to do the agony page if you want. We could organise real competitions . You know, like with real closing dates to give folk something to look forward to. It'll be great having competitions like that, don't you reckon? Mind you. NO star things with every 4million posts! Just free milk at playtime. The things we do to avoid getting down to some serious scribbling. Are you listening 4laughs team? Send some Indian Brandee and a pair of clean pants. Frankie's been too long in the bog.(and the tooth). BTW I don't want people to get the wrong idea so in future sign your name with 4 x's, not 3 x's. That way people will think your just buying me a great big butch Castelmaine beer!!! Cheers! I'll sithee!
A young writer once felt quite cheated When sketches of his got deleted. But he's over that now, He stopped having a cow Then he had something else and it bleated!
Writing comedy is like taking a dump.
Don't force it or you might end up with something that isn't very funny at all...
Sorry. Forgot to welcome you Jax2. Your our first party guest And you're in charge of the booze.
You may have to sign in. Thanks Bri the can pp Frankie R
PS Sorry again Jax2. Frankie's rubbish at showing folk around. The limerick competition is actually further up this thread. See my first post (ie scroll up). Hurry, closing date is within the next three milennia. (As soon as the main site is launched : CANNED LAUGHTER) Cheers. Sorry, didn't mean to touch your arm, it's just that they're MY quavers.
Welcome JAX2 revered writer of some seriously non-PC stuff!!! My heart warms to you!!!
Frankie xxx
P.S. As you're in charge of the beers - I'll have a Corona with a slice of lime in it and I guess Brian'll have a can o' Tartan Bitter - don't open it, Brian likes to do that with his teeth (while cursing the NEW SITE!)
Spare a thought this year, and remember: JUNKMALES aren't just for Christmas...
