Do you mean the OK covergirl?
It would take the front and back page to fit me on you know!

Oh, I forgot (so excited about OK) I have a Smarties tube (empty) and a bicycle inner tube (flat) would that help?

OH NO LOOP! It's "Property Ladder" magazine, can you do a good sarah beeney impression? or Llewellyn Parker Bold (what'is name)!?

I'm gutted! Or should that be guttering - I suppose that will come in handy for the magazine.
I think I could try a Carol Smarmy impression. Just make a face like that.
(slinks quietly off to shed to look for DIY materials).

I can't believe no one has been in here since 17th July. Is it because of the smoking ban? Look at the place, it's disgusting!
I think it's time someone cleaned up a bit and had another party.

I'll buy the first round of lemonade and put on a Bay City Rollers record.

...and they sang shang a lang....'

Ahh... Non-smoking Room, we meet again - how I have missed the soft caress of your plush seating and your buxom, cocktail-serving wenches...

I'm cold.....so cold.......

Well if you're cold... I believe we have the 'River Dance' people coming in for a performance soon... So they should get a substantial fire going once their legs start rubbing together...

Did someone mention wenches...

You may be able to beat an egg, but you can't beat a decent wench when it comes to providing wench-like services... I've never turned a wench away when she had duties to perform...

UHT_Milk you're supposed to be cold aintcha being milk n'all???

<sigh, what do I know... >

Hi, first time visitor - it still reeks in here, can we air it a bit? Franks taking up preparing air buffets and the ceilings gone from yellow to brown now...

Is Brian still on the can as well?

MC

quote:

Originally posted by MC001`:
Hi, first time visitor - it still reeks in here, can we air it a bit? Franks taking up preparing air buffets and the ceilings gone from yellow to brown now...

Is Brian still on the can as well?

MC

Welcome. It's not really a place for ladies so I don't come here often.

Never mind the brown ceiling - it's the brown carpet I'm worried about; what is that? Frankie????

Who is Brian the Can?

Speaking as an ex-wench (Regal Theatre, circa 1985) I would like to say that it is an unrewarding job where no one ever looks you in the eye!

*Sets up some aromatherapy candles and incense sticks... In the hopes of getting the wenches in a 'free love' hippy mood...*

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN!

BRING ON THE CHIPPENDALES...

You can't beat a nice piece of furniture.

You can beat a rug.

And a drum.

Why are cooks cruel?


Because they:

BEAT eggs
WHIP cream

oh and they BATTER fish...

In the case of pie shop owner Mrs Lovett, because she filled her pastries with the brutally murdered corpses of a psychopapthic cut-throat razor weilding barber...but in Gordon Ramsey's case because he's Scottish and he has a girl's job...oops sorry I mean a woman's job.

That's why he swears a lot trying to make out that preparing food is all macho when of course it isn't...

Silly (but rich) twit!

Thought I'd pop down to this tired old room and see wassup...

Hmm, we never could get rid of that smell of stale bodily fluids...

daddy? is that you?

GROWL! SNAP! MUNCH!


(silence)

<SLAM!> wow, not going back there for awhile.. where IS my left leg?

Wow... I can't believe it's been over a month since we last headed in here for a non-smoke... Look at the dust!!...

Nice to see it back, though...

* Saunters over to the jukebox and finds himself unable to resist selecting 'Ain't No Stopping Us Now'... *

quote:

Originally posted by Frankie Rage:
where IS my left leg?

I fear that may have been lost when you put it in, and out, then shook it all about...

quote:

Originally posted by Frankie Rage:
<SLAM!> wow, not going back there for awhile.. where IS my left leg?

Have you only just noticed? If you want it back it is still wrapped round my wheelchair. That was such a good fight. It's beginning to smell a bit now.
I guess you didn't get the ransom note then.