In honour of the technical difficulties in The Caption Competition saga, I suggest we just post random captions to an imaginary picture.

Best caption to an imaginary picture gets a lukewarm round of applause and an audition for Ooh Missus Mind Me Nuts*

*May contain traces of lies.

Gordon wondered if he wouldn't have preferred the raspberry ripple!

I suppose I should cough now!

You should see the other one it's got bells on!

As Prince Phillip addressed the UN he found himself spoilt for choice as for who to insult first.

'But doesn't it rub off the tip?'

As she stepped back at the sound of the mighty roar, her head fell off.. Poor David..

I'll have whatever he's having!

"Professor Plum did it with a Lead Pipe in the Library... And that's why the University were forced to sack him"...

She wasn't expecting the train to enter St Pancras as early as this!

Slap it in a roll I'll have it now.

Would you mind removing that vicar

That's what I call by one get one free..

Just hold these iced buns and act natural.

What on earth possessed you to think you could be a mime artist eh? Eh? EH??

I think it will be a while before he tries that passage again!

Scotland 3 Italy 0

No, it does taste nice, honest!


<man spooning delicious ice cream to wife> obviously!

The italian nation hangs their head in shame as they cheat their way to another victory.

I've always liked Israel me.

But I had my tonsils taken out five years ago.

Do you want a flake with that?

Soak it in formaldehyde and call it an abstract!

It worked when I had it!

And you shake it all about.

Colin said he would!

I told you it was a bomb

Gordon was surprised to find the missing 2 discs down the back of the sofa.

Gordon was surprised by "EVERYTHING"....

A keen-eyed Downing Street junior thought he'd spotted the missing discs - but they were just fancy coasters...

So THAT'S how Rudolph got his red nose!