You tread on a snail and you find that crunching sound quite satisfying.

You help yourself to your colleague's chocolate stash, then blame it on the cleaner.

You drive your bus past a queue of people in the pouring rain. (And it's the very last bus tonight. Tee hee hee)

"You find a tenner and the thought doesn't even enter your head to ask if anyone's dropped it/hand it in..."

"You keep your last Rolo for yourself..."

You purposely change train door exits when you see a single lady has a pram

everone keeps telling you, you're a git.

..you bite into your own arm and discover it's not candy..

You change some of your "scrabble" letters when your Nan has to go to the toilet.
(And have a good look at her letters as well!)

Someone points out that actually you're not a city in france.

There's always something incredible happening on the far horizon as you walk past the "Big Issue" seller.
(Even though his dog is biting your ankle!)

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
You change some of your "scrabble" letters when your Nan has to go to the toilet.
(And have a good look at her letters as well!)

Speaking of 'Scrabble' - I was playing the electronic version at the weekend, and was most excited to see I had enough letters to make 'Tailfins', which would have used all my tiles and given me the 50 point bonus... It didn't take it... It must have a hyphen...

you wont give your last rolo to a tramp

You find yourself talking to FBI agents about the ideal accompaniment to fava beans and chianti.

You put foreign coins in the charity collecting tin.
(But you still take a sticker!)

You can't help smiling inside as you realise that you've just inadvertantly taught your ickle nephew his first swear word.

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
You can't help smiling inside as you realise that you've just inadvertantly taught your ickle nephew his first swear word.

That happened to me when I was younger... Apparently, I was told (or overheard) an obscenity and immediately ran into the garden and shouted it over the fence to the neighbours...

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
There's always something incredible happening on the far horizon as you walk past the "Big Issue" seller.
(Even though his dog is biting your ankle!)

I LOL when I read this Mrs Whirl! 1st prize.

When you cook your fellow 4laughers.
No names mentioned, but the thought of it may make your stomach churn so you'd butter watch out.

You start to like the smell of the body in the boot of your car...

quote:

Originally posted by Loopey:
When you cook your fellow 4laughers.
No names mentioned, but the thought of it may make your stomach churn so you'd butter watch out.

Help me...I'm MELTinnnnnn...(silence)

You wrap up that novelty pen that doesn't work any more and some out-of-date chocolate for the "Secret Santa" at your firm's Xmas dinner.

quote:

Originally posted by Shirl the Whirl:
You wrap up that novelty pen that doesn't work...

I wouldn't mind getting my mitts on one of those novelty pens like Chandler had on 'Friends' - where you've got the model in the bikini when you hold it upright, and where the bikini falls off when you turn it upside down... It'd amuse me for a few minutes - but I've never been able to find one on my travels...

You've obviously not been to Clacton...

Did you see the episode of extras with Robert De Niro, Seth your not thinking of doing a Barry are you????

quote:

Originally posted by mousevale:
Did you see the episode of extras with Robert De Niro, Seth your not thinking of doing a Barry are you????

LOL... I'd forgotten about that...

A really ugly woman tries to kiss you under the mistletoe, and you tell her your an atheist and don't believe in Christmas....