Davina McCall to Big Brother winner Pete......"you are live on Channel 4, please do not swear"
Me to my kids...."please don't interrupt me, I'm on the phone"

Jody Marsh's PR agent: "If you could just wear something tasteful tonight."

Mel Gibson

"just a quick one, ive got the car outside"

Dawn French - 'Does my bum look big in this?'

To Brian Blessed - "Speak up"

To PC World - "Do you have anything by Micro$oft?"

To Paris Hilton - "We don't see enough of you!"

The FA to Sven Goran Erikssen - "Hands off our birds"
Agent to Elizabeth Berkley - "I think starring in Showgirls would be a bad career move"

It's all swings and roundabouts.

What does "roundabouts" add to the meaning of this phrase.. really?

slow down ahead. - to anybody, they'll do it when they feel the need and not before.

Did you pack this suitcase yourself? -

stop crying - to a baby.

SHUUUUTUUUPP - to the dog the neighbours have left tied up while they go out.

Put your head between yourlegs - as the plane races to the earth out of control.

May contain nuts - Advise on a packet of Ready salted nuts.

Contents may be hot - On Macdonalds coffee cups.

...is there any air in here?

...I don't usually let boys do this...

is this your car madam


no i thought i would steal it to get home, i thought you would of know that with the data base now adays

Are we there yet?

Whilst the car is still moving!

Is this your £20 note?

I've just left one phone company to go to another. Just before I did this (but they knew I was thinking about it) I got a letter which said, amongst other things:

"If you decide not to leave [phone company] your account will remain active and you can continue to use your phone as normal."

Well... Duh!

Are you reading that paper you're sitting on