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Some General Do's and Do Not's...

DO

Do read the topic list before you post and use a topic that already exists if there is one relevant, rather than starting a new one. This will increase the visibility of your post, as people do tend to keep an eye on active topics more than a multitude of newly created topics.

Do be very careful what links you use, respected news sources that contain a relevant news story you wish to talk about are OK. If you are unsure, then do not use a link. Channel 4 is not responsible for the content of third party sites.

Do use the ‘alert’ button that is present on every post if you think a moderator needs to check the post for any reason. You may think it is offensive, inappropriate or really really funny and want us to have a laugh. Use the alert button if you think someone is misusing the forum, if you attack back your own account could be bopped by the banstick).

Do try to have fun with the forums. If you find yourself getting wound up or stressed take a break for a bit… coming back refreshed and eager to throw your wit at us once more.

Do be patient with other users. Even if someone posts in a way that annoys you (in “txt spk” for example), stay polite and light-hearted in any response. (In 10 years they might be your doctor, or member of parliament)

Do try to make your posts readable, excessive use of text speak can annoy other users and reduce the likelihood of getting a response.

Do contact chat@channel4.com if you have any questions or problems that are forum related. Replies can be a bit slow so for urgent problems with a post use the alert button.

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DO NOT

Do Not Feed The Trolls. Some people use forums purely to annoy others for their own amusement. Reaction is what they seek and will feed them so that they stick around longer. Use the alert button and move on to some more interesting topic.

Do Not swear or post in a manner likely to offend users, disrupt the forum or just, in general, be mean.

Do Not add anything to your sig. (signature) that others users may get annoyed by, such as very long sigs or excessive emoticons, and Do Not put any links in signatures.

Do Not post spoilers without giving some sort of warning. Most visiting the forum will not know what is happening next, if you do please clearly mark any spoilers you might post to avoid annoying other forum users.

Do Not copy and paste large chunks from other sites, or include copyrighted material in your post.

Do Not link directly to any kind of media file.

Do Not give out any personal information about yourself especially contact information. You may think you know the people you are chatting to on the forum, but you don’t know the many thousands of casual guests who wander the forums and can read what you post (and you don’t really know the people you are chatting to).

Do Not post defamatory, harassing or unlawful comments relating to individuals, organisations or any group of people.

Do Not try to use the forum to promote your website, business, dodgy money making scheme, hamster breeding farm or your lonely single self.

Do Not repeatedly re-post deleted topics, as this leaves us with just one option (banstick!).

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Messages may be removed if posted in languages other than English (we’re not an overly educated bunch here).

This is just a general guide to some of the common issues that arise with forum use. If you think you have been banned, contact chat@channel4.com do not register a new name as that will lengthen any ban.

Play games here.

hello . ally is a star

Uh, are you allowed to post on here? I didn't know!

Wibble wibble blair is a jellyfish! Whoops, here comes Mr Banana!

Erm, anyway, it's great to post without sticking to a subject! Try it. Go on, try it, it's fun!

LOL The forum guidelines on the Friends forum was locked a while ago! I think i started a sexist debate on it that went on for about 8 pages.

How was it sexist?

it was sexist cos they were talking about sexes , duh


ally is a star is here

youve all ruined ally being the only post here
haang your head , without looking down ,

Ah. Sorry, should have known.

ally was special , ally had her own thread created by mod , youve ruinsed the preciousssssssssssss

hello. I like comedy. I like it lots. I like clowns.

do all biscuits like clowns ?
no , i suppose all biscuits have their own personalities .
ha ha

I think they all like clowns. everyone likes clowns. even people who are scared of them.

I don't like clowns, but i'm not scared of them. They're just sad. Why would someone pouring whitewash down their pants be funny? It's much funnier to see someone with dignity fall.

*nods* hmmmmm
*ponder*
is practical romantic a biscuit ?
is fish biscuit writing in my thread ?
do i like clowns ?

'Fraid i'm not a buscuit. Could do with one though, i'm kinda hungry.

i said , my thread . now youve got me thinking of biscuits , ginger biscuit or chocolate ?????????????????????

my day :-
the scotish-shakespeare-english version :



T'was tuesday in school , and i suppose every where else , and everything was stirring even thee mice , . the lesson was over and twas to lunch where everyone talked and walked around much .

there was a good lass , amelia by name , standing by e block playing a game . but then her friends left , to the canteen , where amelia dissnae go , for she stays clean .

amelia tried as she might to talk to others , and chloe was busy arranging some business . so amelia she stood , by the railings . and watched the boy who'd brought a bag of evil .

then *bang* amelias head it be hurt , and something be trickaling down her face . oh tis terrible . amelia can feel herself want to cry , and her eyes want to hide , so amelia she go behind the railings . they are everywhere , in amelia's hair and all over the floor , .

a few minutes pass and the bell it did go , for registration , but amelia dissnae want to go . her hands are all sticky . and her hair feels squashed up so far it feels like a side mohawk .

but amelia she heads down the school , anyway , what else can she do ?

''what happened to you?''

amelia turns and instead of going to registration takes a friends word and heads to the office .

so amelia stands in the line at the office , awaiting the help they will surely give ?

but no , the witch at the desk will nae help , she will nae let amelia go home you ken ?

so amelia , she cry and turn leaving the office , with people shouting her name as she leaves . but no , dissnae turn back .

what shall't amelia do , where shall't amelia go next in this tale ?

amelia she walk around for what feel eternity . until , she see's she must to lesson .

amelia she sits her chair with her book , thinking about the sticky stuff on her fingers getting on the sketch book .

she paints for a bit all the while wishing to thrown out the book , for its contaminated now with se stuff .

but then hasar , stories must have happy endings mustnae they ?

a person they stand in the doorway of amelias lesson , and wish her to go to the office .

a visitor at the office had seen the happenings and texted amelias sibling to rescue . and amelia returned hom and : showered , washed her mouth out , washed her hands alot , put clothes in laundry basket .

so our tale must near to end it must seem , for amelias head hurts alot right now , but wait whats her horoscope ? ''what goes up , must come down''

Uh, if you say so...

i thought youd not post if you ouldnt read what you were replying to , yet i hav3 failed to throw you out my thread . here is a biscuit , eat it outside the thread . *watches you leave* *locks door*

*climbes back in through the window*
Hi! Did you miss me?

Oh, and i forgot to say, thanks for the buscuit.

friendish , good job it wasnt chocolate .

i may have missed you , i may have not . i dissnae know , i couldnt hear my thoughts over me crying .

if you is to be in my fred , you must spell important chocolate related words correctly . *nods* bIscuit

not bUscuit .

Whoops. I feel stupid now.
I can spell chocolate, and most other chocolate related words, such as milk, dark, white, and mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Why are you crying?
Don't be upset!
Is there anything i can do?

you can help me beat up everyone who ignores me . mwhahahab . i already started . im suspended from school (cough hit the teacher cough)

no lol , not much anyone can do. *sigh*

Aw, at least your not alone. The same thing happens to me at school. I didn't hit a teacher, but i managed to get a girl who made my life Hell expelled.
Now i don't get beaten up, but everyone ignores me. It's better, though.

the teacher deserved it , honest . and i dinnae hit her hard even if she says shes marked

it worked ! my trail of crumbs of biscuits out the forum has lead you all away