Another strange one from Jon: Hopefully this is more tasteful

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Fortune Teller

EXT: OUTSIDE BLOCK OF FLATS

Karen is standing by the intercom of the flats, pressing the buzzer. A croaky voice answers “Enter”. TZZZZZT

INT: FLAT

Karen walks up 2 fights of stairs and in through the fortune tellers door that has been left open.

INT: FORTUNE TELLERS FLAT

Karen walks through a door way of beads. The fortune teller is sitting at a table with a crystal ball, the room is very dark. There is a squirrel in a cage in the corner, a blind dog sitting next to the Fortune Teller and a monkey sitting on an arm chair.

Teller: Come in Karen and give my colleague the payment.

The monkey walks up to Karen and put its hand out, Karen passed it the money, and then the monkey walks back to his chair and sits down. Karen then sits down at the table.

Karen: I…

The Teller interrupts.

Teller: Do not speak my lady … all will be revealed.

The Teller begins waving her hands around the crystal ball then stands up and starts dancing around the table.
While this is happening the monkey is acting completely insane jumping up and down screaming. After a small while the teller runs out of the room screaming then walks back in like nothing has happened and sits down. Karen sits still (very scared)

Teller: (Shouts) The GODS have spoken and the future has arrived.

Teller: (Stares at Karen) the monkey from the south brings good fortune but only if the dog from the west is caught, when it attempts treachery. But my lady, don’t forget that although the monkey will bring good fortune it brings a choice.
This choice can be easier by the owl or the lion but this will present another choice.
The owl will bring you what you desire but the lion will give you what you need. A child will be born when the dog arrives.
(Teller stands up and points to the door Shouting) NOW LEAVE, LEAVE MY CHILD.

Karen runs out of the flat absolutely petrified and very confused

The Teller turns to the monkey

Teller: She’ll keep the baby from her brother in-law, silly woman.

The monkey slaps himself in the face.

quote:

Originally posted by jds2mpo:
Karen runs out of the flat absolutely petrified and very confused

trool joins her equally confused.

makes no sense as to what she said relating to the punch line, and once again is offensive to fortune tellers. They dont have monkeys, they dont use crystal balls, those are for the fakes. They use tarot cards, they dont scream and say the gods have spoken, its the spirits. Also the bad readings usually mean good, like the death card in tarot means change, a new friend or such. not that the person will die. Again, your comedy fails.