Many people claim to have been abducted by aliens. This is bullshit. Space Raiders only abduct cats. They make them really fluffy, put little aliens inside their heads and send them back to Earth. We call them Persian Cats. You will never see a Persian Cat eating cheese on toast.
So there.

*calls the men in white coats*

I like space raiders. That's the one off the back of the cheese and onion ones, isn't it? Which one claims they built the pyramids out of plastic?

Tomato