I can't believe I'm still getting midges in my house in December.

They are driving me mad. I keep trying to waft them out of the way and end up slapping myself in the face every time I try to read!

I poured a tall glass of apple and cranberry juice a while ago and it's half full (optimist!) and there's two bloody midges floating on the top!!

How much other food and drink have the midges been taste testing for me beforehand?

I'm seriously considering buying one of those blue lights that restaurant kitchens have - they are driving me so crazy.

Stop being heightist.