A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
(you're gonna love this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
A man entered the bus with his front pockets full of golfballs and sat down next to a beautiful girl. The puzzled girl kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the girl continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer she said "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
Originally posted by onetoo: A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
(you're gonna love this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
the olduns are the best
************************************ ♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥ I don't have a quirky message !!!! ♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥
Originally posted by onetoo: A man entered the bus with his front pockets full of golfballs and sat down next to a beautiful girl. The puzzled girl kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the girl continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer she said "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
who me????
**whistles innocently**
******************************** John Smith: So what am I then? Nothing. I`m just a story.
Doctor: You`re an echo. That`s all. A TimeLord is so much more. A sum of knowledge; a code. A shared history. A shared suffering. Only it`s gone now, all of it. Gone forever.
Originally posted by onetoo: A man entered the bus with his front pockets full of golfballs and sat down next to a beautiful girl. The puzzled girl kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the girl continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer she said "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
lmfao!!!
even better than the 1st one!!
im sooo rippin this one off
________________________________________________________________ ¸,ø¤º°•°o.O¸,ø¤º°•°o. jedi master & council member .o°•°º¤ø,¸ O.o°•°º¤ø,¸
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation.
Speaking in a cheery voice, the woman says, "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. OK. Bye-bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
♥Every moment of your life is a love story, every breath, the whispered passion of your soul.♥ ♥Member of the 'GH'.♥
Why females should avoid a ‘girls night out’after they are married !
The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed I realised that 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totalled 12)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem mad at all.Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him why he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, cleared it’s throat, then said Oh!” cuckooed 4 more more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then fell over the coffee table and farted”
A tax paying member of the public, on his way home from work, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He noticed a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer what's the hold up?"
The officer replied: "The Prime Minister is just so depressed about all the fuel blockades and that his whiter than white image has been tarnished,that he stopped his Jag in the middle of the Motorway under protest, and He's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says that everybody hates him and he doesn't have the money to pay for the new house. We're taking up a collection for him."
The tax payer said: "Oh really? How much do you have so far?" The officer said: "About three hundred gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."
I am tired, I am weary. I could sleep for a thousand years.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
♥Every moment of your life is a love story, every breath, the whispered passion of your soul.♥ ♥Member of the 'GH'.♥
