Sweetest Auntie Vegetable was having a happy normal day in GD High. She had lunch with her best friends Sweet Momma Ceelya and Dear Sweet Sahra, and completed her work for Mr. Molko. It was all going wonderfully, until she discovered Pig poops in her locker - she had a terrible fear of them, and wondered who could do such a cruel thing.
'I bet it was Spophepophebopbopphheh,' said Sweet Momma Ceelya. 'She's been jealous of you since she heard that you were going to the The Prom with Old Man Dandruff.' Sweetest Auntie Vegetable sighed.
'Did you read the Daily Butt?' said Dear Sweet Sahra. 'There was an article about Moderator V., who shocked everyone when She grabbed an axe and threatened everyone! Yes, everyone! Then she grabbed her boobalahs and whacked everyone with them! They ended up with black eyes and bloody noses!.'
'Really?' said Sweetest Auntie Vegetable. 'Can I read the article?'
Dear Sweet Sahra gave it to her.
The Daily Butt has heard rumors that Moderator V. is back after the shock of many years ago when She grabbed an axe and threatened everyone! Yes, everyone! Then she grabbed her boobalahs and whacked everyone with them! They ended up with black eyes and bloody noses!. This is not true. Moderator V. is in Tunisia.
Sweetest Auntie Vegetable scanned the article and was startled to discover that she and Moderator V. were alike - They both liked to sit on the bumbum of a fatman! Incredible!!!.
Sweetest Auntie Vegetable walked home feeling very troubled. When she got home, there was a note on her doorstep. She opened in and screamed. It was full of Pig poops. There was also a letter.
To Sweetest Auntie Vegetable. Watch your step. Ha ha ha. Signed, Moderator V..
Who could it be? Was it really Moderator V. or someone closer to her? Sweetest Auntie Vegetable suspected everyone - Spophepophebopbopphheh of course, who always sneered at her. Old Man Dandruff, even though he was the dreamiest boy in GD High. She even suspected Dear Sweet Sahra who had a great love for Pig poops and had been acting strangely recently. The only person she could trust was Sweet Momma Ceelya who had been her friend since they were small children.
The night before the The Prom, Sweetest Auntie Vegetable went with Sweet Momma Ceelya to the Strip club, and they discovered it was empty. Sweetest Auntie Vegetable was pleased to have Sweet Momma Ceelya with her, because she was very nervous about Moderator V., as well as avoiding Old Man Dandruff, Dear Sweet Sahra, and Spophepophebopbopphheh. 'Isn't it strange,' said Sweet Momma Ceelya. 'How much we have in common?'
Sweetest Auntie Vegetable remembered that They both liked to sit on the bumbum of a fatman! Incredible!!!. She became uneasy. 'Sweet Momma Ceelya, don't you have family in Tunisia?'
Sweet Momma Ceelya laughed manically. She threw some Pig poops at Sweetest Auntie Vegetable, then attacked her with a Boobalahs, and Sweetest Auntie Vegetable was forced to fight back with a even more boobalahs. She ran away and was found by Old Man Dandruff and Dear Sweet Sahra, who had a perfectly rational explanation for her strange behaviour.
'We came to save you from Sweet Momma Ceelya,' said Dear Sweet Sahra.
The next day they discovered that Sweet Momma Ceelya had died horribly. Sweetest Auntie Vegetable was sad - Sweet Momma Ceelya had been her friend for years, and becoming a crazed psycho in the space of a few days could happen to anyone. But she placed her trauma firmly behind her and went to the The Prom with Old Man Dandruff, much to the dismay of Spophepophebopbopphheh.
