I'm sure you will all positively die without me.

Yeah, get out of bed, people.

Iiieee!!!

That's what the mother says. So I have been mulling around not knowing what to do with myself, bored and old. 18 is crap. Whoever told me to get ready for it to go downhill was being wise.

Plus I can't even phone anyone on the housephone.

Tha Dermy!!!

You will survive.

My housephone is accepting incoming calls. My mam does have a mobile but I doubt if she knows how to open a text message.

I went on my nana's stairlift! It was bloody scarey stuff.

I did not!! I did not watch anything sexy on my nana's stairlift either!

But I may...

Will it be her and your Granda?

It will be me and myself! I can sneak in while my nana is at bingo and my granda is comatosed in his bloody chair of the damned, and have my merry way without anyone knowing of my sordid Stannah stairlift shocker.

Can I come? I've always wanted to try love in an elevator

You will love my comatosed grandad!!

quote:

Originally posted by Dermots-Husband:
'Stannah sex'?

I star in a film of that name.

You love the Stannah romping!

quote:

Originally posted by dandruff-boy:
You will love my comatosed grandad!!

I might do? Does he have a nice beard?!

He doesn't, no!

For shame

You like the romp, eh?

But my grandad does look a bit like Father Christmas, surely that's worth something?

I will tell him then!! You wanna go up on the stairlift as well?

Can I feed him mince pies and brandy?

I think that is his staple diet!!

He falls over a lot though. He is old. Be careful with him.

I will prop him up on his third leg. It will be fine

You've just gave me possibly the worst mental image ever.

I like to push the boundaries, where I can

I like them to be pushed.

I am not very happy.

Placebo tickets sold out. Damn. Blast. Hate. *sigh*.

But I have a hot chocolate from Cafe Nero.

Do you want me to shag Brian Molko for you?

No, I want to shag the sexually ambivalent androgynous goffick manchild. I was looking forward to perving on the hot emo boys. Grr. I think my mam knows a ticket tout.