hi everyone quite new to this.every week i have watched htlgn and after each episode im left feeling happy, confident and ready to go and put some fake tan on!!but two weeks ago i had a operation which has left me with an awful flabby tummy im twenty and a size 12-14 but i keep havin awful commments from various people i work with about how i have put on weight and asking me why. its leaving me in tears i keep thinkin what gok would say but all these comments are really upsetting me, has anyone else experienced the same if so what did you say back?whether your skinny or chubby what do you do to boost your confidence when people say these hurtful things??
Hi there, Before I met Gok I was floored by comments like "Cor blimey, you're a big girl aren't you?" and such like. I don't know why people say such things perhaps they are stupid. People obviously still say things off the cuff since I did the programme and it is still hard not to let them get at me. BUT, I take heart from the fact that there are things about me that other people would kill for. If I feel really wobbly I drag my friends out for a drink and put my lovely shoes on or do my hair or take time over my make up so that I really really like it. It's tempting to go shopping every time some wally upsets you but this is a slippery slope to bankrupt nation! In the end, I think you just have to stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself how fabulous you are and how sorry you feel for the lemons who say dumb stuff because they are clearly jealous of your fantasmickness. (Also, had it occurred to you that people tend not to mention weight issues to those they ACTUALLY think have a weight problem? Maybe you get teased about it because your colleagues never dreamed it was a real issue for you.)
Hi Louie87 I have a similar problem to yours although probably for very different reasons. I have a large flabby tummy and in the past have had some things said that have made me unhappy. However since watching HTLGN i am beginning to learn how to dress to hide it and also build my confidence to dismiss the comments. The comments are less frequent now as people are more interested in what i look like now . I am alot older than you so it might be easier for me to dismiss the comments, but stick with it girl, have confidence in you. And Gok.
Louie I,m a 50 year old gran size 14/16 on a good day but sometimes need an 18 top as i,ve got huge bangers as Gok would say.whe i was in my teens i was a size 8/10 with an 18"inch waist lucky if i was 7 stone wringin wet everyone used to say to me your to skinny you cant wear skirts it looks as if theres 2 threads hanging from the hem !!!!this being my legs i wouldnt wear skirts for years...evn as i went up to a size 10 then 12 i just told them cant fatten a thoroughbred but it still hurt.then when i went up to a 12/14 comments changed to ohh your putting a bit of weight on are you pregnant? no just curvy the way i should be...then a size 16 i,ve been asked did i want a good diet sheet to go on? i said well would you like the name of a good plastic surgeon??? so my lengthy tale is just to show that no matter what size or shape you are dont try and please anybody but yourself.Your Tummy can be sorted hun goos suck you in nix keep it in shape but anyone says anything just smile sweetly at them and say "I LOOK SO GOOD NO MATTER WHAT" X
I don't think you can win. When I was younger, people used to say things like (because I was so thin): "Have you just come out of a concentration camp?" or "You're so skinny. You're like a bean pole". My boss asked me in front of the whole office a few months ago, "Are you bulimic or anorexic? You're so thin". I'm glad to say I've since left that job. I really do feel you have to ignore comments - just keep your mouth shut when they come out with stuff. I have to - year in, year out.
it's really difficult when people make comments about your size, I struggle with my confidence at times, this being brought about by an indifferent ex husband, but comments about how you look cut deep and you then carry them around with you. I'm getting better than I was but still struggle sometimes. I know that it's such a cliche but if you feel good about who you are and love yourself then you will be able to deal with these comments much better and respond back better!
I put on a great Bra that gets my bangers looking fantastic a Waistnipper that flattens my tum a thong or briefs depending on what i,m wearing. Then put on my best skirt and top Hold-Ups and high heels .Get the make up on, hair done look in the Mirror and say YES you look great and out i go head held high arm in arm with Hubs as long as you feel good you look good x
Girls you need some serious onelinners in your vocabulary.....Everyone gets putdowns thrown at them and its because your all so trusting that they get to you, No body is perfect! so take the attention you don't want and turn it arround to the "Best friend", "Boss" or "Total Beearch" whos trying to snack on Your confidence. ! "Are you putting on Weight?"....."Yes, its your Husbands fault, because evey time I sleep with him he gives me a biscuit" :0 2 "Are you putting on Weight?"...."Yes and I'm pleased you mentioned it because your Boyfriend/Husband keeps stareing at my Boobs like a hungry dog! "... 3 you can try being devestatingly honest to the person who makes comments that are far too personal as well, such as , "Your stomach sticks out are you pregnant"..."No I'm not pregnant but People do keep makeing remarks about it and it upsets me, I'm sure they don't intentionally mean to be unkind, But...." and don't finish the sentence just stare at them, i promise they will squirm far more than you will 4, As I said nobodys perfect, and everyone has some bit of themselves that they feel sensitive about!, Don't let it get to you and remember this, We reveal what we are most afraid of, by the insults we use, so anyone who tells you you are too...Fat,Thin, Tall, Short, Blonde, Brunette, Whatever!, can always be sillenced by you replying with "Calm Down, its not catching, I didn't know you were so worried about Body Image"........ Its the way "You" tell Em
I must admit I am my own worst enemy about my own body and sometimes I think I must drive my boyfriend to dispair
I do get days, where I have the control knickers on, some nice clothes ive brought.. Ive taken the time to put the hint of tan on, do me hair and make up.. i'm feeling great and then someone who hasn't seen me since the accident will say wow you have a belly for the first time, and the classic not that i'm being mean, but wow...Its then all that work just goes out the window.
Why do we punish ourselves.. We are so quick to make positive comments about other women...
I think sometimes things are said without meaning to hurt you.. In my teens I became a big comfort eater, due to a lot of big trauma that was occurring in my life at the time. I put on a ton of weight, wore baggy clothes.. Basically general appearance went out the window. One day a child mistook me for a boy. At the time I laughed it off, but man it hurt a lot. Even though in some ways it was a wake up call to get fit and become more femine, I wear more efeminate clothing etc... I still inside feel a bit like that teenager. Its strange you can do things, which my friends admire me for, like moving and living on the other side of the world at age 18,do loads of college courses while working fulltime and yet still feel the same way about my body as I always have.
hey ur all beutiful just as u are just try and ignore what people say in no its hard but there is always ways 2 make u look good dont change how u are just because someone says something bad like ohh u have put on weight ignore them i no its hard but there are plenty of people out there who look a lot worse then u guys do dont feel down hearted u are all fabulouse x
For all of you who like me have struggled with weight and food issues for most of their adult lives, surround yourself with people who know the real you and love you, fat or thin, flabby or toned. It's ok to take care of our appearance and we should for health reasons but I have yet to meet someone who is perfect in every way. People who make nasty comments about others are often lacking in self esteem and this is their way of making themselves feel good. To all us pleasantly rounded individuals, remember, curvy is far more appealing to most males. Love yourself.
After 2 c-sections in the space of 19 months I was left with a really flabby tum and stretch marks. A year of constant exercise (including 1000 tummy crunches a week) later I was back to my wedding day weight and fit as a flea.
Great huh? Erm...no. Still had the flabby tum and stretch marks y'see? My ex-husband explained that men cannot love women who are so unattractive and since I had become such a munter his affairs were justified.
I lived with that for 5 years, and I've been a single mum for over 5 years. It is now so ingrained I know that I will never think of myself as anything other than a complete freak. Anotehr relationship is absolutely not on the cards. The Elephant Man has more pulling power then me.
You need to nip this in the bud now. Before it becomes too ingrained. If you don't have the mental wherewithal to turn yourself around (and you have to be a strong person to do that I know) then either seek help through counselling or - and I hesitate to even suggest this - think about the possibility of cosmetic surgery if it's THAT bad. But only if you have tried to exercise it away. And I mean really, really exercise it away. I did 12 months of swimming 2-3 times a week AND 6 hours in the gym a week. I looked bloody gorgeous. Dressed.
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And louie - I'm only suggesting surgery as a very, VERY last resort as I suspect you may have had a stomach op and if that's cut through the muscle wall - as my c-sections did - it may have contributed to the flabbiness. xxx
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Hiya hun, are these people you work with younger than you .. I have the same probelm I put a lot of weight on afetr having my children and have endedup with two tummys my youngest is 8 so its taken untill now to actually drop dress sizes and lose some weight im now a size 14 and depending on a brand of clothing have to try a 16 due to my big arms but i work with girls which are 10 years younger than me and when i first lost the weight and started wearing the t shirts that were a little clingy they used to look at me and im sure i could see and hear them sniggering and laughing at me..so the result is back to wearing size 18/20 poloshirts to work.. What you should try to do hun is look at them and try to find something negative about their bodies or eveb personality you dont have to tell them just keep it to yourself then each time they make a comment to you you can put it to the back of your mind and think about their neagtive point and think to yourself, you are normal with a beautiful, sexy curvy figure they are just jealous....it takes time hun and dont let anybody out you down
Ignore the comments if you can. I don't think these people are being particularly malicious, I think maybe they're just not stopping to think before they speak. If someone says anything say something like 'Not that it's any of your busniess but I've had an operation recently'.
hi louie87, ive just become a member of this forum and u were the first piece i looked at, firstly u r a size 12-14 that is not a bad size to be i think its average for a woman in england, secondly go out and get that fake tan it may help to hide ur scar and youll be suprised how good it can make you feel i have them from time to time and feel much better after, people used to call me fat so i know coments can hurt but try to brush them off because there is no point in getting upset over something u cant change by that i mean the ignorent people that say these things bullies u get them everywhere no matter what u like, concentrate on using what uve got and flaunt it everyones got good bits one. hope u feel better xxx
I think the comments to me arent so much hurtful because of what they're saying anymore but more if i'm being humiliated in front of other people. I can be as confident as i want but sometimes people just rip that away.
People can say such horrid things. I took part in the last series, and have just been to visit my future father in law, who hadn't watched the show. When i showed him a few clips, he said, 'I don't know why you worry so uch, you are not fat...just rather chubby!' and when i was about to have my photoshoot, he said, 'I don't like that much. What have they done to make your forhead look so huge!'. This is meant to be family, who know how insecure i am. Nice eh!!! I have decided you have to only listen to the nice things, and ignore those who enjoy being horrible.
