Not disgusting at all! It just so happens that well-wisher has a tumorous growth that resembles a little soldier, a french cavalry officer from Napoleon's 5th Hussar regiment and
I merely asked him if he would "Like a trumpet?", he preferred an instrument from the woodwind section and replied, "(I'd) like a basoon". Perfectly innocent.

My life has already been portrayed by an actor,
I am the real Forest Gump upon whom the character played by Tom Hanks was based although I never really said "Life is like a box of chocolates", that was just made up by the writers,I said life is like "Black Magic" and they just got the wrong end of the stick.

Dame Judi of course. Although she is definitely older than I am. Or maybe Helen Mirren.