I wasn't here for parts one and two but lets make it a Trilogy anyway. Its back,its bigger,its badder and its ready to kick some Film Forum Ass!

You are a teenage boy with wizardy powers, do you:

a) Train your schoolchums in a secret 'Room of Requirement' to fight Voldemort and save Hogwarts.

OR

b) Use your powers to obtain large ammounts of alcohol and drugs and to exploit helpless muggle girls in your secret 'room of debauchery'.

Arghhh! I hate Harry Potter. I hate the books and I hate the movies. I hate all the merchandizing. I hate the adults who read the books. I hate the adult covers that they put on the books that adults read. I hate JK Rowling and the piles of money that shes making out of her unoriginal,mediocre,insipid bumfodder. I hate the hordes of children who queue up outside bookshops to buy her latest pile of poop and so,having fully vented my spleen, I'll pick B)

My Question:

Bambi
or
The Deer Hunter?

The hunter, a film about russian roulette, not as scary as russian mousetrap which involves live rats or russian twister a form of torture involving the twisting of delicate body parts or russian crazy golf which is literally a psychopath running amok with a golf club or russian Tetris which is just dropping rocks onto people.


Scary Movie Numbers:

The Number 23,

SE7EN,

13 (as in Friday the 13th)

or

666 (The number of the beast as in The Omen)

Se7en because 7 8 9. Geddit! 7 8 9! Seven Ate Nine!! *Wipes a tear from his eye*
The old ones are always the best.

Talking of what is a cows favourite moooo-vie? Is it:

The sound of Mooooooo-sic
or
The Termooooooooonator
or
Moo Framed Roger Rabbit

The sound of moooooo-sic sounds like the noise a cow makes when it throws up, probably after eating mooooo-seli, so not that one. The Termooooonator sounds about right because I can imagine Arnie as a cow, mooing in an austrian accent, "I'll be back,moooo!", "Hasta la vista baby,mooooo!", "Hi, I'm the Governor of California,moooo!" Yes. I pick that one.

Should Arnold run for President?

YES or NO?

I would have to go for b to answer your intial question man on the moon because I hate the harry potter books.

Yes he should as he's The Running Man! He can run wherever he d*mn well likes and if he wants to run for the President then let it be done, as he's f-a-s-t!

Racey films:

The Running Man

or

The Marathon Man

But Arnold didn't even do his own running in "The Running Man". Apparently, about half way through shooting the film, they discovered
that he ran like a sissy-girl and so they were forced to shoot all his running scenes from the waist up, getting him to move his arms up and down so that it looks as if he's running in those scenes;they put the legs in afterwards using what they call a "Leg double". It's all in the DVD Special Features.

But, Dustin Hoffman, he runs gracefully like a young Gazelle. Infact he is actually descended
from an ancient race of centaurs; the modern name Hoffman is actually derived from the word Half-man because his ancestors were half-man/half gazelle and, though he doesn't possess their hooves, he still maintains their amazing gazelle like running abilities; he also gets nervous whenever hes around large cats like lions and tigers because they smell him and think he's a gazelle.

Anyway, Marathon Man is my racy movie of choice
because Dustin did all his own running and also
Arnold can't act.

And Personally, I think its a bad Idea that actors become politicians because very soon it'll start going the other way and politicians will start acting in hollywood movies like Anne
Widdecombe in Basic Instinct 3 and Robin Cook
taking over in the title role of the the "Leprechaun" series of horror movies.

Which politician do you think would make the best Hollywood actor:

Gordon Brown
or
Tony Blair?

Gordon Brown could play a role where a dead-pan expression is required I suppose but I think, other than that, his acting would be on a Roger Moore scale. So it will have to be Tony Blair though I wouldn't much fancy that grin of his staring down from a cinema-size screen.

Talking of grins, who had the best one:

Jack Nicholas
or
Cesar Romero

^You do realise I meant Jack Nicholson don't you. As far as I'm aware Jack Nicholas never played The Joker. He could have played The Golfer, with a rapid-fire golfball machine and mad caddie doing his every bidding.

Hail Cesar! His Joker was much better than Jack Nicholassons; more camp,more creepy and more like the little joker on the playing cards but,as far as grins go, Nick Jackalsons grin is bigger and cheesier than a giant edam mountain;
apparently, at his house, they don't carve pumpkins at Halloween, they just get Jack to stick his face out of the window or atleast they did until it started scaring the neighbours. So, Nichole Jackson is who I pick

Now my (Halloween themed) question :

I am Sir Wellington-Wishingham, ye oldy Witchfindery General and ye standeth accused of
foul witchery and of consorting with pixies, how doth ye plead!

Innocent
or
GUILTY!!!!!!

Guilty!

*Swims to safety and wrings water out of hair after casting a spell, and newly re-sized Sir Wellington-Bootery makes tiny squeaky sounds as he shakes his fist"

Little trouble makers:

The Borrowers
or
Mousetrap

The only Mousetrap I know is the Agatha Christie play (SPOILER ALERT: The mouse did it. Thats the twist. You think its about a mousetrap
but its really a trap set by a mouse. I hope I haven't spoiled anyones theatre viewing pleasure.) and so I'll pick the Borrowers.

Borrowers are basically little people who steal; some because they're kleptomaniacs, others because they're supporting some terrible addiction,fencing the stolen goods to give money to tiny elf dealers; in Islamic countries,because of Shariah law, they apparently cut the hands off of Borrowers with tiny scimitars; I once had my house burgled by a very short man who later claimed in court to be a Borrower and said he wanted my posessions,my TV;microwave and DVD player to make a little house for he and his fairy family and ofcourse the judge believed him and he got a reduced sentence

Confession Time, which of these sins are you most guilty of:

Gluttony
or
Sloth?

Although I loves me food, I do have a little bit of willpower left in that area, and, as I'm sitting here doing this instead of a hundred other things I should be doing I'll have to pick sloth. I am naturally lazy and would much rather be sitting here than doing something useful. I think things are tough for us slothy-types as everything is always a lot of effort, whereas get-up and goers love to be busy and find everything easy-peasy, irritating the hell out of everyone! Up with sloths! Down with non-sloths (what's the word for the opposite of a sloth?) See, I can't even be bothered to try and find that out!

Continuing your theme:

Envy
or
Pride

I try to do as many of the 7 deadlies as often as I can. Envy,Greed,Gluttony,Sloth,Lust,Anger And Pride (You can easily remember them by using the simple acronym E.G.G.S.L.A.P)

I think I'm envious. It's a vicious circle; I envy people who aren't envious; I wish I was less envious like they are.

Animals are often labelled with sins;
Sloths are slothful; Peacocks are proud; Pigs are gluttonous and I would add to that the spiteful gnu; the neglectful aardvark and the inconsiderate panda but which of these animals is the most dangerous:

The mighty lion;


A duck with a chainsaw

or

A badger with a machine gun?

Well I think a duck with a chainsaw is just an accident waiting to happen. He won't be able to hold it with his webby, flip-floppy feet and being as he was so dumb as to think he could hold one in the first place, he'll probably try and pick it up with his beak - poor ducky! A badger with a machine gun would be a little more feasible but I fear when he tries to sling it around his back to carry it safely to where he will be hiding, the gun will swing down, hit the floor and go off straight through badger's noddle! Whereas the mighty lion will use his God-given talent and tear his prey to shreds with one tiggery pounce. Yay!!!

Which animal is more beautiful:

The Cheetah

or his prey, the gazelle?

Cheetah/leopard print is a very hard thing for any one to pull off successfully; if you over do it it can look tacky and a bit tarty whereas the gazelle look never goes out of style; it's fun; it's functional; it's sexy yet elegant; it says "Hey,look at me I'm a gazelle!" and that's why I'm going for the gazelle.

Worst female fashion guru:

Nicky Hambleton Jones (10 Years Younger)

or

Trinny and Susannah?

I had already answered this but my reply was obviously deemed unsuitable! Anyway, I chose Nicky Hambleton Jones and as I'm not sure whether it was what I wrote about your choices or my next choice, I'll have to choose something else.

So, here's something sweet and fwuffy:

A kitten purring
or
A puppy looking at you with those sad eyes?

Well,the last thing you want when you're sad is someone hovering over you awww-ing and ooo-ing saying how cute you are. The puppy may be sad because he is coping with serious bereavement issues,trying to find closure. It may be sad because it is a bi-polar puppy whos going through a terrible bout of depression. It may be sad because its owner has just had it neutered just as it was developing into an adult dog and it feels immasculated and has lost all sense of purpose. Its sad eyes may be a desperate cry for help but no ones listening;
all they care about is how cute it is, poor thing. Thats why I'm going with the purring cat
even though it may be purring sinisterly the way it does just before it attacks me. The cat
was once worshipped by the Egyptians; Egypt with all its sand was just one enormous tray of kitty litter for the cat god to roam through and early temples to Bubastis came with an enormous flap by which the Cat god could come and go from the underworld but then Jesus came and people stopped worshipping their pets; the hamster cult dwindled to nothing and its sacred wheel was torn down and the great gold fish bowl was smashed by those who saw it as idolatry
but,returning to the subject of cats,what if Top
Cat were suddenly to meet with a terrible,unexplained accident, who then would be Top Cat?

Garfield
or
Heathcliffe
or
Henry's Cat
or
Thomas (Of 'Tom and Jerry' fame)
or
Felix?

I'll pick Taamaaaas! I can just picture the housekeeper standing on the stool screaming and there are so many good cartoon memories. Spike, the zoot suit, the invisible paint, all so good. Never liked Jerry though, much too much of a smarty pants. Speaking of which, what smarty pants would you most like to be back in fashion:

Tudor pantaloons
or
Plus Fours
or
Oxford Bags
or
Heavy rock lycra?

Tudor Pantaloons aren't in fashion?
Why the *bleep* didn't anyone tell me!?
I often wear my tudor 'loons when I'm out and
about;shopping,working out at the gym,down the
pub and I've heard people say "Loony". Naturally, I assumed they were just commenting upon my stylish pantaloons;but now I realize they were mocking me!

You only have two choices, you can be:

a)Size Zero

or

b)Enormously fat like fatty fatso; like a cake eating whale.

Which do you choose!

I have no choice at all here as I loves me food, so it'll have to be fatty fatso! Just call me Lardy Pants.

What's more annoying:

people talking loudly in public on their mobile phone

or

the quiet tsst, tsst, tsst sound of them listening to music on it?