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Here's one from me...
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my teen love texted me
Twelve happy-slappings,
Eleven chavs a-mugging,
Ten year-olds binging,
Nine ladies puking,
Eight ASBOs fighting,
Seven celebs a-shagging,
Six farts a-lighting,
Five crap ringtones,
Four giant turds,
Three porno pens,
Two humping doves,
And the news that she’s had my baby!
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One more along the binge / party idea
Dressed as elves , on the breezers
We puke up and we pee
12 dumb blondes downing
11 guys we're groping
10 of them still sleeping
9 of us table dancing
7 heads a- swimming
8 ... oh yeah .. pass them tinnies
6 packs I'm saying
5 rude piercings
4 yelling birds
3 french kiss'es'sss's
2 total dorks
And it's our office Christmas party!
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Why does being Jewish ruin fun? Christmas = Christ=Jewish fella and I'm certain He likes a party otherwise what was all that wine for? (being brought up Cath-oholic, I worked it out- it was an awful lot of wine believe me!) I can't help you out with any Hanukah carols though.
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4Laughs Editor
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As far as I can see, we have 5 complete versions of the song from Yielding, Savage Parrot, Hedge, Contains Nuts and Zaphoid. Which one would you most like to make?
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I'll start a poll
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Mine contains a bit of Glam Snowdrop influence - just to be clear
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Mine may contain nuts.
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sorry- am I allowed to use the term contain (TM)?
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quote: Originally posted by hedge:
Mine contains a bit of Glam Snowdrop influence - just to be clear
Ah....... so you ate my brownie.
I wasn't the only one who laughed when the news said the Plymouth Hoe was on fire....Member 4675 of the RubyMae James fanclub XX
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I never eat anything brown just in case. Wow the voting on the poll is cruising along! 4 whole votes cast from among a worldwide online community of how many zillion? I blame the battenburg colour scheme.
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4Laughs Editor
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Okay Mr Hedge,
we're going to go with Contains Nuts' effort!
I'll add it to the Comedy Collective homepage so you lot can make it!
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I think a different carol would have been funnier. I can't get the line 'We three chavs from leamington spa' out of my head for some reason. We three chavs from leamington spa Trying to nick a subaru car Police were summoned we got stun gunned Now we're doing time Oh car of wonder, car of light Car with security features tight 0 to 60 really swiftly I wish you were mine!
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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Wow! Good luck avoiding censorship issues with some of those!
Sorry Savage, I did what I could with the time I had.
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Mr Nuts I'd just like you to know that I voted for you mate... I actually sat down, looked at the 5 that Davina said were complete and gave points to each one in a very systematic manner! You had most points...  Now, where is my old anorak, I really did have one somewheres... Frankie
Spare a thought this year, and remember: JUNKMALES aren't just for Christmas...
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Wow, I just looked at the poll again... I was in fact THE casting vote! I can influence things on 4laughs after all! F
Spare a thought this year, and remember: JUNKMALES aren't just for Christmas...
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quote: Originally posted by SavageParrot:
I think a different carol would have been funnier. I can't get the line 'We three chavs from leamington spa' out of my head for some reason.
We three chavs from leamington spa
Trying to nick a subaru car
Police were summoned
we got stun gunned
Now we're doing time
Oh car of wonder, car of light
Car with security features tight
0 to 60 really swiftly
I wish you were mine!
Ha ha no yours was great I just don't like the original carol
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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damnit quoted the wrong post. Meant to quote contains nuts 
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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I've been to Leamington Spa. Was shocked to find they had the wheel. When they discover fire, it's really going to kick off.
I wasn't the only one who laughed when the news said the Plymouth Hoe was on fire....Member 4675 of the RubyMae James fanclub XX
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I heard they built the worlds first discount offlicence there back in 2000bc so the local kids would sit outside it instead of jeering the druids as they were ritualistically slaughtering their goats.
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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Time team recently found an original White Lighting bottle there......
I wasn't the only one who laughed when the news said the Plymouth Hoe was on fire....Member 4675 of the RubyMae James fanclub XX
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Was it by any chance lodged in the skull of a youth with a particualrly small cranial capacity?
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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He also had a packet of Lambert and Butler in his jacket pocket. Tony Robinson remarked on how well preserved it was.
I wasn't the only one who laughed when the news said the Plymouth Hoe was on fire....Member 4675 of the RubyMae James fanclub XX
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Did tony try and smaoke one of them?
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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Nah. He was too busy going through his pockets.
I wasn't the only one who laughed when the news said the Plymouth Hoe was on fire....Member 4675 of the RubyMae James fanclub XX
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I wouldn't think a tenner with a picture of a druid on it would still be legal tender.
Ok. I'm wearing clothes now. But I'm not gonna pretend to be happy about it.
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