I also have complaining neighbours... See what you make of this...
We live in a small village in a terraced house, second one from the end. There is a very short road at the side of the end of the terraces which serves 3 properties built into a cul-de-sac. The road isn't a private one but it was built by the owners of one of the properties it serves.
There is an old lady living in one of the 3 properties it serves. It isn't her road, it was built by her neighbour.
Anyway, she has taken a very strong objection to our children playing football in the cul-de-sac outside her house. She has threatened to call the police if they play there again.
The kids feel intimidated, they come home all worried and out of sorts. She told them that their playing gives her a headache and disturbs her peace.
I really don't think the police will be interested - or will they? Are our kids causing a breach of the peace? Or can we have this old lady charged with 'harassment' of our kids (not that we would, but it might be enough to make her back down!)
DD you need to find out who owns the road, i think!
As said on the thread about trampolines what some people find acceptable/reasonable others dont.
Who is she moaning at, you or the children, could you try and pop along and have a polite word to try and calm feelings.
Parents cant win in this world, we get moaned at for keeping kids in doors in front of computers and tvs, let them play outside and we are disturbing some peoples peace, or worse still let kids roam the street and parents are classed as irresponsible parents!
Rather than getting into counter-charges of harrassment (do you really want to do that to a neighbour, however narky?) can you not discuss it with the elderly lady? Surely there would be a compromise whereby they would play there up to a certain time or summat. That's assuming they can't play outside their own houses?
We have kids playing football in our lane during the summer hols and it does my head in, but our residents association devised rules which say they mustn't do it before 9am or after 8pm, and the kids keep to it so I don't complain.
Why do some older people moan. Just cause their kids have grown up and flown the nest, they expect peace and quiet. I think they should all be able to live in a small village of their own and let people with children live together..
Its not just older people who moan,theres a guy across from us in our cul de sac who is about 38/40 and hes forever coming out moaning at the kids who are out playing.When my kids were small they played with a foam football and he still moaned about that and told me to send them to the park about a mile away to play.
We live on a family estate,why do people come and live on such places if when they know that its likely there will be kids playing out.
I know what you mean! We own a flat in a block of flats, where most of the residents are elderly. for some reason they think it is a retirement home - it isnt though becuase we are in our early thirties! They moan about absolutely everything it drives me mad! We are not there most of the day becuase we work full time and try to be considerate with tv volume etc (unlike the old guy below us who turns his up full wack until midnight every night). They even moaned about one of the residents granddaughter playing the communal gardens at our latest resident meeting. The child in question plays very quietly and doesnt disturb anyone. I think they just dont want children in their view while they are sittin gin their deckchairs! Grrrr. I think some people have too much time on their hands!
I think the advice is right to have a chat with this lady and agree times that it is ok etc. (eg. if she has a nap at a certain time each day ask the kids not to play there at that time) If this doesnt get you anywhere and your children arent being a pain dont worry about it, she is just being unreasonable and the police arent going to do anything unless your children have been commiting a crime. Its hard enough getting the police to come out when a crime has been committed!
Hi DD, Little old ladies like this are the worst - they've nothing else to do but dwell on irritations until they blow up out of all proportion. The police will not get involved - if she persuades them to visit, they may have a chat with you in the interests of "community policing" and then mark her down as a vexatious caller.
Velvet, we wouldn't really charge her with harassment (it is a nice fantasy though!). The kids can't play in the road immediately outside our house as we live at the top of a steep bank. The road is at the bottom of the bank.
I do think you have all offered good advice about aproaching the old lady directly. I'm all for negotiation and pre-agreed playtimes are a good idea. That said, the kids are all in by 7.30 anyway (as it is bedtime for the youngest!).
Wayne Zab, your neighbour sounds like a misery guts. Glad I'm not married to him! Yes, people have a choice where they live and if they don't like children, they could choose to live in over 55s housing.
It occurred to me that she must have too much time on her hands. I actually feel a little bit sorry for her. Suferring from headaches and disliking the sound of children playing... Wasn't she young, once?
She hasn't complained to us directly, only to the children. I guess they are a soft target.
Latest episode in this story: this old lady has actually kept one of the foam footballs that went over her fence and refuses to answer her door to us now. Maybe she's just practising in private so she can join in with the next game...
Post some goalie gloves and a team bib through her letterbox.
I'm afraid I'm totally guilty of being like an old woman. Everything drives me up the wall but like I mentioned on the other thread I'm more of a mutterer and dirty look thrower. Ideally I'd live in a little dark house away from everyone!
I can see that you both have points. Kids should be able to play but at her stage in life she is also entitled to reasonable peace and quiet. So sorting out times is a good suggestion however, 9am-8pm is still a bloody long time! I'm a bit wary of this new house we want as it's open paddock like fencing. On one side is the med centre so that's not a problem for us to change. But the other people are used to having an open ish empty garden next to them - we'd ideally like 6ft solid fence running down. We have young kids and I want a chocolate labrador I've decided. Something I may want to enquire about before I offer then judging by everyone's complaining neighbours. Because anything we put up will cast a shadow on their garden.
Originally posted by wayne zab: We live on a family estate,why do people come and live on such places if when they know that its likely there will be kids playing out.
Originally posted by holy cheeses: I'm afraid I'm totally guilty of being like an old woman. Everything drives me up the wall
Same here. Shame I'm not eligible for an over 55's enclave really. But I try to be tolerant, within reason.
quote:
sorting out times is a good suggestion however, 9am-8pm is still a bloody long time!
Yeh but they aren't out there for 11 hours a day every day. They're at school/it's raining/the parents take the little preciouses out somewhere/they decide to go and cause mayhem somewhere else (one of them has an air rifle... so it's probably preferable when he's playing football). At least if they start bouncing that blasted ball at 6pm and you know there is a time limit, your blood pressure stays within a healthy range.
Originally posted by holy cheeses: . We have young kids and I want a chocolate labrador I've decided. Something I may want to enquire about before I offer then judging by everyone's complaining neighbours. Because anything we put up will cast a shadow on their garden.
Get a black (or yellow) lab, not a choccie-much more sensible and easier to train! believe me chocs are doo-lalley!
Originally posted by wayne zab: We live on a family estate,why do people come and live on such places if when they know that its likely there will be kids playing out.
Is there such a thing as a 'family estate'? If you live on an estate were all the houses are 3 or 4 bedded,then I would think that the majority of people living on that estate will have families which will include some with kids who want to play out.I would call that a family estate.If you dont want kids playing out near your house dont live on such estates How does that work?
So you expect a child to go to the park every time they want to play do you?
The nearest park to our house is a mile away along a very busy main road,my kids were 8 or 9 when my neighbour told me they should play in the park.As it's not always possible to take them at certain times I saw nothing wrong with my kids playing various games on the street outside - just as kids have done for a 100 years.
The gardens of our houses are quite small,but you would want me to keep my kids coop up in there would you?
My kids are now grown up but we still live in the same house and have kids of neighbours playing out all the time and I personally love seeing it.
Did you never play out on the street when you were small?Parks are NOT always an option are they?
Unfortunately you just can't compare most of the last 100yrs ago and now. Youths didn't steam around in their little saxos and corsas without regard for anybody 100 years ago. I will personally never be happy with my child playing on a street, accidents always happen and not just that, I wouldn't want to pay for an irate neighbours smashed window.
And no, I hand on heart never ever played on a street ever as a child, we had two fields of our own to play in. aaah badminton till 10pm at night! Football with the dogs, camping out - I'd love to give my kids that we could make as much noise as we wanted, there was fields on every side.
We live on quiet cul de sac and all the neighbours are aware that there maybe a few kids out playing so its quite safe.
How you can compare kids playing kids street games with youths driving cars around in a foolhardy way is beyond me.
I too was lucky enough to live in front of a large field when I was a kid and spent many hours on there playing football ect,but do you know what? I remember a certain old woman coming out and throwing broken glass on the part of the field that was directly infront of her house to stop us playing in that area.Now theres anidea for you.
Originally posted by holy cheeses: . We have young kids and I want a chocolate labrador I've decided. Something I may want to enquire about before I offer then judging by everyone's complaining neighbours. Because anything we put up will cast a shadow on their garden.
Get a black (or yellow) lab, not a choccie-much more sensible and easier to train! believe me chocs are doo-lalley!
'Scuse me I have a chocolate Lab and they are easy to train, excellent with young children and are far from being doo-lally they are fantastic! Isn't that right Yorshire Pudding? Mel.
How you can compare kids playing kids street games with youths driving cars around in a foolhardy way is beyond me.
wayne, wayne, wayne... I'm not suggesting they are the same type of nuisance obviously. It's the youths screwing it round the roads that may cause the accidents. As in a case on a Lancaster estate (I presume full of families??) not far from here where a 4yr old was reversed over and then driven over again as the driver did one to avoid being caught.
pasted from news: ....was knocked over on the street outside his house on Tuesday, 17 July.
He was pronounced dead on arrival at the Lancaster Royal Infirmary.
... witnesses had heard an engine revving followed by a loud bang. “The witness saw the passenger get out of the vehicle and go over to the child and shake the child. The driver then got out, looked around and walked past the child in the road.” The witness added that Driver did not seem “fazed” by what had happened.'
Neighbours might know of children playing but they're are not the only ones using the road. It only takes once. I'd rather take the time and deposit my child in a park myself but I realise that this isn't always possible.
I'm just a born worrier and am naturally irritatable. Footballs flying about, banging my car, shrieking and the like, would not please me. 'Rooney' next door is still in the doghouse after a year for knocking the head off my prize red hot poker flower with one rogue footy shot before it had even had chance of come out. The red hot poke that I had been waiting two years to see after little cheese pulled it off the year before. I was not amused.
'Scuse me I have a chocolate Lab and they are easy to train, excellent with young children and are far from being doo-lally they are fantastic! Isn't that right Yorshire Pudding? Mel.
there may be the occasional non-doo-lalley choccie, although most of the ones who come into see me are la-la (saying that the yellows are usually the chubsters!) Saying that I love labs-have always had either labs or golden retrievers! generalizations are great
Yup, Ive heard that about chocolate labradors. Its in their genes. Its the same with cocker spaniels. The breeding to get that brown colour did something to their brains. They can go quite mad! (not in a nice way)
She told them that their playing gives her a headache and disturbs her peace. 
Opinions welcome.
But I try to be tolerant, within reason.
we had two fields of our own to play in.
we could make as much noise as we wanted, there was fields on every side.
