Hello. I'm not very happy with Mr.
This may take some time

We want to sell and move to a former shop. It is up at £149,950.
We have viewed 3x now - the viewing today was purely Mr's idea to show his dad round - why??
So it came about that him and his dad decided that £129,950 was a fair offer to make since they "want to sell it". I wasn't convinced as it is already fairly good value to me and too low would look too cheeky, but his dad ( old men) said no, no you want it cheap - like poof it's that easy and you decide what you pay.

I said to Mr, please leave it to me as bearing in mind...
I had told him last week after a discussion with an EA that it had been up for more but vendor had taken it off to sell to daughter and they had put it up again lower apparently "priced to sell". I also said about the planning permission being ok for a few years.

I also said let's not look too hasty, desperate etc. but Mr. said at each viewing "we'll probably make you an offer this week" to the vendor SHUT UP MAN!
So we get home and he decides he wants to make an offer *today*.
I want to speak to the mortgage people, get ours on market first and check building regs, planning etc that the house will need so that we look serious and can make an informed offer and be in a better position.
I also stress gently that I know a little bit more about this than he does as he knows jack and I partake in a lovely little forum about this sort of stuff.

But no I go to supermarket and get back and he's phoned the EA She's tied up so will ring him back. I said, do NOT ring her. So of course he rings, asks for Wendy - ?? who? Ann, muppet.

On the phone he sounded stuttery, umming and ahhhing and said "I want to check this planning permission, that they definitely won't turn around and say it can't be a house" which I've already asked as I said. Then he kept saying feebly - we'd like to make an offer. Then you will give that offer to the vendor. (I think she knows the drill Mr.) So he says stuttery, not at all convincing or confident erm, um, er, £134,500.
He got off the phone looking a bit peeved, saying that it had been up for more and they had lowered it, looking to sell and she didn't think they'd be happy with the offer.
I said blankly, that's what I tried to tell you. I was going to leave it a bit, make a low offer of £138 and then leave it with them very coolly and non-plussed as we're in no position to sell.

So this is the worst bit, if any men want to explain why you people do this...
he went absolutely off on one at ME saying how could you embarrass me like that and *let* me phone the EA with an offer they wouldn't take??!! Why didn't you tell me it had been up before for more blah blah and won't accept that it is his fault for barging ahead regardless without listening. He kept squealing "how could I have wasted everybody's time" (viewing was his idea??) when *I knew* that they would not accept anything less than the asking price. (If they want to sell that much they will have to as it's been 2.5mths with no offers and the market's gone pants)
So he spent the entire evening in a strop and has decided he's so *embarrassed* that he doesn't want to move at all, I can move back with the kids...
I asked him several times not to phone.

now he's blasted my play-it-cool plan out of the water and gone in with a low offer that he can't even back up, he kept muttering about not deciding which EA we're using, we look like time-wasters. I was cringing listening to him on the phone.

What should I do now? I'm tempted to ring up when he's out tomorrow and explain that when I am on market etc. I will be looking at making an informed offer like I had intended.
I think him and his dad thought a really low offer would be accepted first time.

Also the EA's have said that it was under offer when it was up at £179950 last year and vendor pulled out to sell to daughter. So this apparent 30k drop is it being priced to sell. It's been on for a couple of months, market has changed so I've tried to tell Mr. that PTS means nothing really as it obviously hasn't sold and has no offers after some interest and viewings before us. I'm not convinced by this higher price because it's not a house yet theres no proper kitchen etc. and finished I wouldn't have expected it to fetch that nevermind unfinished. ???

sorry, but that feels better! phew.

Can you buy this property without selling your own? If so, I would think you have a good chance even with a low offer. If you have to sell yours, then I don't see why they would accept it as you are not likely to be in a position to move for some time.

I think it might be his way of letting you know he doesn't really want to move.
I thought you'd be on the market at least by now. EA won't take any offer seriously until you are.
If you weren't dependant on selling, a cheeky offer might work, otherwise I think your assessment is sound.

If I recall correctly, you were in rented before. So this is your first sell/buy... Enjoy

Hello HC. Sorry to hear about your trouble with Mr....

Men, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't live without... err, yeah, actually, you CAN live without 'em!

I might be wrong, but it sounds to me like you have lost some respect for Mr. If you really ARE having problems, are you sure that moving is such a good idea? I know we discussed this on another thread, but only move if you're really sure.

It's easy to be tempted by the thought of a nice house, a better lifestyle, or whatever your own reasons are for moving are. I should know, I look at Rightmove everyday, too! I fanatasise about moving and about the difference it will make to our lifestyle, even though I'm really happy in my current house. It's just a fantasy.

But IMHO, unless you sort out your marital problems first, they will follow you from house to house. Same cr*p, different house.

To come back to your original point. Yes, I think your instincts are spot-on. You understand how to play the waiting game with property, how it all works. Unfortunately, Mr. may have scuppered your 'play it cool' stance with this particular property.

But as you know, any offer you make now is unlikely be taken seriously anyway until you really ARE in a position to make an offer (i.e. under offer yourselves).

Hope you can work it out.
DDx

quote:

Originally posted by holy cheeses:
So this is the worst bit, if any men want to explain why you people do this...
he went absolutely off on one at ME saying how could you embarrass me like that and *let* me phone the EA with an offer they wouldn't take??!!

Having just bought a place with b/f "helping", I know what you mean .

I provide info. He then goes off and does something inconsistent with I told him and or asked for. Conflict ensues with developer. Followed by rant about how I don't support him or take the developer's side etc and how he is "embarassed".

Some people just don't listen for a start.

And, if your EA / developer happens to be dynamic alpha male type, it can be like a red rag to a bull .

Donna I mutter darkly about leaving all the time especially when reminded how he copes/acts with biggish things like house moves. You are so spot on, the last shred of respect has just vanished!!
But as always, I'm pretty resigned to him and his behaviour now and don't want to uproot the kids, they really are my no. 1 priority. So I need house moves etc. to act as a kind of pretence if you will. This is why I'm also writing novels. I write myself a lovely life!

Spampman yes I know I'm dragging getting it on the market but I've had to do everything myself! I gave Mr. a list and he never gets the things on it even though he relamps DIY stores.
It's coming along and I will be contacting house network on Monday. I've had my HIP done though, that's nearly finished apparently.
I'm particularly pleased with myself this week as I repointed the entire house brickwork by myself. Even working up ladders which I cannot abide by (it's a whole being high up on things that move fear)and I've painted most of it today so it's looking super.

oh I wish Mr. would just listen that it's stupid to make an offer when we're nowhere nearer ourselves. He's still blaming me surprise.

For HC >

Sounds like Mr HC needs the sack to me

Repointing! I'm impressed, well done you.
I thought you'd been quiet...

It took me ages at first but I put in a longer day than the beggaring builders opposite and didn't stop for lunch either!

Sounds like you've been busy, HC!

Tend to agree with what DD and SM have said previously, you've got to get yourself in an under offer position to be able to put forward any sort of offer!

How long does it take House Network to get your property details on line?

HC, why not have supported your husband in the firstplace to stick in the under offer? Look at it this way, if your husband had been more certain about the under offer with the EA, more firm and the seller has had so few viewings, they may have taken it if they could have negotiated a drop in price as part of their purchase. You then could have discounted your home by the difference in what they wanted and what they accepted, no-one is out of pocket and people get to move home.

Novel Idea, but I doubt it would ever catch on, but thats what it takes to get moving in this market. Try and ignore your British reservedness when putting in an offer.

Because a) he's not my husband, b) it was the fact that he wouldn't listen and c)
we are not even on the market yet.
And as I left last Friday we might not need to be. I'm back for the present to sort stuff out so didn't contact house network in the end so stiiiillll not on the market.
oooh it's all up in the air... but I got my beloved laptop back that i left behind! Remembered the kiddies though

oh and no-one's actually turned down the offer yet. We've not heard from them.

I'm confused. You moved out on Friday? I thought you were looking for a place together?

He was crafty enough to get you to repoint the house first though.

Put it this way, we were looking at the house together ... but I'm not that keen on having my children watch the spectacle that was Mr. screaming abuse at a man driving too close behind him and the whole hand gesture, 4 letter words, brake slamming, swerving, trying to beat each other scene that unfolded. Save it for when you are in your own van and not with my toddlers watching on, horrified.

That set the whole walking out ball rolling.

Anyway, the EA has left a message saying can we ring her about "our" offer... maybe tomorrow or event the day after if I feel inclined.
I still don't know exactly what we are doing family wise yet, there's a *lot* to discuss.

Spampman, he didn't have to get me to do it, he'd tried first . I can't watch people doing things sloppier than I would. I nearly snatched a cloth of a man in a supermarket the other day and cleaned the glass counter myself.
And I left the house half painted at least.

HC sorry to hear of all your troubles, shame we havent got a PM option on this forum!

Assume the house move is now off the agenda x

Oh dear HC I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Have another hug

Blimey HC, what a busy week

Sorry to hear of your current problems, really hope you get sorted soon.

If you do ever look at the other forum, I think you will find lots of your mates on there

HC, sorry, didnt mean any offence by the "husband" comment!

BTW, it sounds as if your low offer might have caught a bite, you never know, you might have saved a few bob!