why did the one hand man cross the road??????


to get to the second hand shop

The Late Bill Gates


If Bill Gates were killed in a car accident. He might find himself being sized up by God.

"...Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm
going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."

Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters.

There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.

The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.

Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," said God, and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.

It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think prefer Hell," he told God.

"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave.

He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful; this is NOT what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened
to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God says, "That was the screen saver."

LL

Lil, think you've got an admirer in switch1!

Our LIL's clicked.

your all making me blush

do I detect 'jealousy' LL in them 2 ladies

No switch, no jealousy, veryy interested (read "nosey" ) in you & lil - how's it going?!

Mind you, do you look like your avatar on the other forum switch?! Might be slightly jealous then........

morning FB,havent seen switchs avatar on the other forum ,but will be having a nosey in a mo

what do you do if u see a spaceman????


park in it man!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by switch1:
do I detect 'jealousy' LL in them 2 ladies

Ah, naughty switch, no jealousy in this forum.LIL, is our pal. In fact LIl, and i are friends speak often on the phone.

im going to ireland in the summer to meet sandrina

ive seen switches avatar
switch is that you

...the one and only

yeah right you wish we all wish

Well jealous then if it is you switch! (not quite sure I believe you though! )

Sandy & Lil, hope you have a great time together, we want a full report, if you can get to the computer in between your marathon chatting sessions that is

FB,once me and sandy have met,you will all know how we got on coz i will put a full report on the other forum

Can't wait, bet you won't want Sandy to go home!