we're taking it in turns to write... feel free to join in. dont mind if u dnt like it jst doing it since we didnt get what we wanted. itll be good ish.
loves
cue credits.

(sue White is sitting in her office in full witches ensemble stirring her cauldron, which is issuing globs of green smoke and reciting macbeth (the part of the three witches) nin authentic scottish accent)
knock on door.
Lyndon walks in.
Lyndon: uhhhhh. right. using the more primitive techniques to fix things are we? maybe i'll jsut come (fades into distance as sidels out of door)
(sue cackles crazily and disappears into a puff of smoke) fades into blackness. camera draws out and black is square of people into funeral clothes. Martin is sobbing loudly
Martin: she was ju ju ju just too young.
Caroline: I know martin, i know, a tragic lost for everybody. but be brave.
Guy: what do you mean a tragic loss, u didnt even like her.
Caroline: (strangld voice) Guy, of course i liked her, she was my best friend and my flatmate.
Guy: I thought you said she was a sanctimonius, goody two shoes who thought she was always right. like julie andrews!
Caroline stamps down hard on Guys feet.
Guy: never thought u were into kinky sex, bit of a sadist are we?
Caroline: shut up, Guy!
Martin continues to sob
Sue White: damn that moose, damn that moose to hell. she was taken too soon.

scuse typos. btw, just so absorbed

a motorbike is seen racing down a empty road. u can just make out strands of fraise blond hair escaping from under the helmet. the bike pulls up outside the hospital and mac appears looking drawn but healthy. he walks past boyce
Mac: u should quit smoking you kno, those things will kill you.
Boyce: only the good die young. and im very very good, as Kim will testify.
Kim: your a cocky sod aren't you. i'd say mediocre at best.
Boyce: i think you must've got me confused with someone else. maybe you need another go.
Kim: maybe i do.
mac: play nice children. (he strides past taking boyce's fag, breathing in a long drag, then dropping it ontpo the floor grinding it out.
he breathes a perfect smoke rin
Mac: only the good die young (quietly shaking his head)

Guy appears with Caroline in hand. Caroline, seeing mac tries to let go. Guy tightens grip. The three walk in unison.
Guy - so... caroline: i was just thinking that tonight that we could go more whip, less rope?
Caroline - Guyyyyyyy
Mac - No no i think its heartwarming to see the two of you enjoy a healthy, yet disturbingly fetish filled sex life.
Caroline - you know he's making it up
Guy - moi? (dodgey french accent) I love you long time baby
Mac - yep keep telling yourself that, one day it may just come true.
Mac walks off (slowing of camera)
Guy leans in to kiss Casroline. Caroline hits him with handbag and storms off. Guy jirates to self.
Guy - (shouts) What!!! Dirty perve *to old man in wheelchair*

i'm loving it! you could be gw writer for sure! Trimbush! lol (tremendous)

Cut to office girls
Karen walks in with an attractive man on her arm and looking Fantabulous (with straight hair and ed ruby slippers!).
All stare with mouths open
Hariot - Kkkkaren???
Karen *new found confidence* - Yes mother hubbard
Kim - what the blood hell happened to you?
Karen - well after FALLING OUT OF THE F*****g WINDOW i realised that I needed a new direction in life, although it did help that a few argos addition catalogues broke my fall, well that and johnny.
Johnny - *kisses her hand*
Rachel - can i get you anything?
Karen - coffee please - three sugars stat!
Rachel *skips down yellow brick road in front of joanna's office*
*small dog like toto appears out of karens bag and barks*
Kim makes eyes at johnny

okkk..

statham and joanna are sitting on the edge of a pier, legs dangling over the edge eating fish &chips. the sun is settig and it is all and all a peaceful, picture perfect setting.
Alan: (muttering under his breath) dirty filthy birds. spreading disease and danger. damn sea gulls.
Joanna: what are you blathering about alan? you do realise your talking to yourself.
Alan: birds bringing disease to the world, spreading anger and hatred. murdering all that they come across.
Joanna: your one to talk about murdering.
Alan: eh. i thought we agreed we werent going to talk about that P******* dwarf. if anyone murdered that evil pixie it was the heron.... all birds are the same. You see those sea gulls, look at the evil in their beady eyes. theyre waiting to swoop. swoop down and pluck are eyes out. and then your tongue, your filthy tongue. because we all know what youve been doing with that tongue dont we, we know where its been...
Joanna: (looks frantically around her before grabbing a handful of chips and forcing them into Alans mouth.) shut your gob you t**t, do u want us to get into more trouble?

Alan chokes on the mouthful and trys to breathe. he is squirming round as he trys to get air into his lungs. he tips over the edge and falls into the sea. u hear him scream as he plunges iinto the inky blackness of the sea below. Joanna grabs the orange life ring and throws it into the sea. then looking round, jumps in after him

Operating theatre, Mac and Caroline involved with surgery, guy looking bored
Guy - I'm soooo bord couldn't you entertain me for a while Caroline?
Caroline - well i would if this patient hopped up from the table alive and well, butttt until that time comes can't you just amuse yourself
Mac - yes guy why don't you, o i don't know mayyyyybe keep you're eyes on the monitor for a change
Guy - nah I know! I know! lets play sharades
Caroline and mac look at each other as if to say WTF!!!
Guy mimics a film
Caroline - film!
Guy - *1 finger*
Caroline - 1 word
Mac - t**t?
Guy - no tosser
Mac - ah and you didn't even need to act
Guy - *sarcastic* ha ha
Guy - *mimics swimming front crawl*
Caroline - swimming, flying..... the great escape???
Guy - 1 f*****g word woman
Caroline - o yes
mac - gaylord?
Guy JAWS YOU IDIOT I WAS DOING F*****G JAWS *storms off*
Mac - whatever, still looked like a big t**t to me
Caroline - i could have sworn it was the great escape......
Zooms out

quote:

Originally posted by *PennyCrayonluvsGuy*:
Operating theatre, Mac and Caroline involved with surgery, guy looking bored
Guy - I'm soooo bord couldn't you entertain me for a while Caroline?
Caroline - well i would if this patient hopped up from the table alive and well, butttt until that time comes can't you just amuse yourself
Mac - yes guy why don't you, o i don't know mayyyyybe keep you're eyes on the monitor for a change
Guy - nah I know! I know! lets play sharades
Caroline and mac look at each other as if to say WTF!!!
Guy mimics a film
Caroline - film!
Guy - *1 finger*
Caroline - 1 word
Mac - t**t?
Guy - no tosser
Mac - ah and you didn't even need to act
Guy - *sarcastic* ha ha
Guy - *mimics swimming front crawl*
mac - donkey, attack of the animals, shrek???
Caroline - swimming, flying..... the great escape???
Guy - 1 f*****g word woman
Caroline - o yes
mac - gaylord?
Guy JAWS YOU IDIOT I WAS DOING F*****G JAWS *storms off*
Mac - whatever, still looked like a big t**t to me
Caroline - i could have sworn it was the great escape......
Zooms out

why did u quote twice? im confused.
anyways..... im thinking everyones doesnt like our version. how tragic
sue white is dancing round in her office to dirty little secret by all american rejects. shes holding simba under its arms >should that be legs?< and swinging him around. the music is so loud its shaking the windows. th lion does not look happy.
*Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Who has to know*

she puts the lion down, and places it back into the basket. she begins to pull off her clothes layer by layer until all she is wearing is the ripped remains of her clothes and her underwear. which, is ahem racy. the lion looks bewildered. martin walks in, clocks what sue is doing... then joins in! typically martin he's doing a strip tease, to the music until he too is left in his underwear. sue kisses the lion on the forehead and they dance out into the corridor. a giant conga line begins, first the HR workers start to dance, including a hugely pregnant Harriet and the newly dressed up karen... (who ise being groped by john, her new beau) then boyce, lyndon, jake and other random hospital people join. including the cafeteria workers.
cut to guy, mac and caroline walking down a corridor. the corrido bisects the corridor witht he conga line in. they stop and stare at the bizarre spectacle until it stops blocking their path, then continu in on their conversation withou commenting on it.

quote:

by layer until all she is wearing is the ripped remains of her clothes and her underwear. which, is ahem racy. the lion looks bewildered. martin walks in, clocks what sue is doing... then joins in! typically martin he's doing a strip tease, to the music until he too is left in his underwear. sue kisses the lion on the forehead and they dance out into the corridor. a giant conga line begins, first

ok rather random huni but i luv it. No i don't think they do - we've only had one comment o well it was a very nice 1! I forgot to add something the first time is why there are two. gtg cya tomorrow xxx

random is green wing, random is me
yeh i know. thank you for that comment you nice commenter person. i mean, i thank you from the bottom of my heart greenwing8fanatic. your too kind. (ha ha i think ive got modesty down)
now are other people just seeing what weve written and exiting in shocked disgust?
love ya,

i quite like it, its very random, and some bits are rather funny! go you two!

*waves* I like it - actually reckon the bit with Karen is better than theirs - and the rest would fit well too - keep going!!

thank you lovely people. im gutted i didnt get to go to the signings... bt im going to beg borrow and steal my way to any other green wing events.
sooo anyway.
i actually think my brain has frozen... penny, u need to update for me. i have geography to do
xxxx

ok, here goes

Boyce stands alone in the radiology training room.
Boyce *looks at clock and realises he is alone, walks to Statham's office and knocks(sp?) on the door*
Boyce - Dr Stahtam....
Removal men come out - boyce walks in
Sue White - good evening young boyce and how are we today?
Boyce - well actually...
Sue White - splended! *to removal men* Just take it all
Removal man1 - um what about these pants we found *holds up grey statham pants*
Sue - *to boyce* would you like first dippes? No, alrighty then! *snatches them off removal man and stuffs in her suit jacket*
And barks at the removal man
Boyce - What's going on?
Sue - What? Oh dear, has no one told the wee english boy? The eagle has flown.
Boyce - huh?
Sue - the rocket has blasted... The sh1tter has sh@t... The baby has escaped the craddle. Yeas Boyce Dr Statham has left the hospital and taken Joanna Claw with him *does victory dance*
Sue - sombre face - now i know this must be a difficult time for you but i really don't give a flying f**k. See ya *slaps him playfully on the face*
Boyce - is left alone in the empty room. On the desk is Alan's recorder. Boyce hugs it and plays a note. Looks sad
Boyce - papa, WHY??????? sobs like a little girl

ive just read this and its flippin' hilerious! do more its like the episode that never happened! its great!

film this with you playing all the parts
WINNER.

i really like it lmao its fantastic, it really is like what the last episode should have bee....especially starting it with sue white....that should have been in the special

hi, thort id post, by the way her comes a love scene between mac and caroline. so sorry if it isn't funny.

(Zoom in to mac sitting on the bench where him and caroline had sat before. Caroline walks behind him and he doesn't notice she is there. He starts to hold his head in his hands as he starts to cry.)

Caroline- mac, whats a matter? are you ok?
Mac- Yeh im fine. im,*sighs* im just so happy for you and guy.
Caroline- Sure, because i thort you would hate the idea, not to say that guy isn't a good friend to you(starts to talk faster as she babbles her words as she moves closer to mac)well maybe he isn't but still its just the things that happened with me and you .......
(mac iterups caroline and puts his finger over her lips)
Mac- It's ok, (smiles) just think you'll be Mrs Secrentan soon, and you and guy will have kids one day and you'll have the fairytale you deserve.
Caroline- Maybe (moves away from mac) but you no that wasn't the person i wanted to be with (sarcastic) for some reason he had blonde hair and had a motorcycle,(pause)you know I wanted this to work more than anything.
Mac- Oh come now, guy isn't so bad, (looks away) he really loves you. And he will do anything for you, think about it you'll never have a dull day with guy around.
Caroline- yeh i suppose. But what am i meant to do thinking that this, well us and could have happened.
Mac- ( turning to caroline and holding her by the shoulders) You have to marry guy, hes a good bloke and I have every trust in him to love you like i can't! Beleive me i will never forget one moment of us together. The way you insulted emily, when you came over and tolled me about her and what she has been fraging to be (laughs to himself) and when we were at the party and your drunken dancing, and when you came to my flat wearing a nighty and lighting all the candle waiting for me to get back from work. These things that you did for me mean more than you would ever imagen.
(caroline looks at mac straight into his eyes, as mac does the same, they get closer)
Caroline- Mac, you'll always be my one and only, and you know that.
Mac- I always no what you mean.
Caroline- (smiles) really even the time when.......
(Mac stops caroline from saying anymore and kisses her right then and there, you zoom in to see caroline and mac kissing with special falling in love music).

(As the camera moves away out of shot from mac and caroline, you see guy standing in the hospital at a window behind where they are sitting and now kissing. Guy looks with a sad expression on his face not knowing what to do).

Guy- well to late macintosh, SHE'S MINE!!!!! (walks off)

(and they go to an advert).