I know this may be considered pointless, but i got a little bored, and decided to fashion up some characters, most of which, i fear, are reminants of my own pyche...

feel free to add anything... and which would be most like yourself

yeah, im not crazy.

Desmond [&] Desmond. The 'Kingpin'. The one everyone fears in the consortium. Yes, Desmond is an ex gangsta rappa, geordie boxer with a tattoo of a mirror on his face, and a crow on 'is ass. Desmond is a dog. Fear him. Bad points? only one arm. Good? The arm is a nuclear missile station. Famous for his petty nuclear wars with shirl-angel for control of the diet coke supplies.

Gordon [nah] Gorden eh! who DOESN'T know Gordon, the party animal. but when u just wanna chill wif mates, hes tying 'imself to NASA rockets and flying round your pad. keep him at arms length. Due to a screw up in admin, unsure if he was once a Hindu preacher-man, or a Mexican sofa wrestler.

Stanley [sn] A bit of a stick in the mud, but you can trust Stanley! The stallwart of the consortium, the one who keeps the cogs turning. Bit of a 'shady' past in his yoof, of which he is highly secretive - very protective. Tony ''the nutter'' reckons hes a dark horse [eater]...in so far as he eats horses that are dark in colour.

Brian [:[] Weeeeell Brians alreet when theres something in it for him, but a secret agenda? Keep an eye on 'im, is all i can say for Bri-Bri. His job in the consortium is to fix things, normally broken cos Desmond thought they were questioning his authority, and shot a couple of fully armed nuclear war heads at.

Cat [@] A bit stuck up, if I'm honest. Sorry. BITCH-FACE!! She is known as the 'Resident Bitch" or just 'Bitch' Famous for being hated by every known sentient being, only in the consortium cos she makes a crackin' cuppa tea. If anyone questions her opinion? she hits them with big hammers. then stops making their tea.

Tony [tu] I like tony. I think he just 'gets' me, you know? He works in Dixons. Only in the consortium cos he's my mate. Key 'negative' 'issues'? he is... a complete psychopath, a megalomaniacal, sociopathic, lazy git. good points? He works in dixons. He also has a pet 'Demon of The Underworld' for casual wars and boredom.

Shirl-angel Due to an unfortunate and cataclysmic accident with a hair dryer in her crazy care free yoof, she is in fact now convinced she is one. A hairdryer. Only communicates through the medium of loud hairdryer noises. Ask her he thoughts on the scienctic values of embryo enhancement, against the ethical concerns of the greater psych of the human mind? Srrrrrhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeennnnd is the best you will hear. Gaudian of the diet coke ‘Great Gate of Beverages’

Devil Petty quarrels over diet coke that Shirl-angel has with Desmond are nothing compared to the 'Biblical Doomesday, Thenoma of The Dark Wars' that happen every thursday afternoon with the Devil, over who gets the last of the pie. The devil is so addicted to pie that he has exterminated many races, so he can have their portion – he is also the ‘Apple God’ in so far as he grows apples out of his hair follicles. Unfortunetley, Shirl-angel nicked all the pastry dough, and is kinda the goddess of the ovens, hence the aforementioned dark, biblical skirmishes

You forgot Sue, the big fat mamma of the consortium who thinks that Gordon is a moron and can kill people with a well-placed glare and who steals other people's vodka when she runs out of gin.

i like gordon myself oh and just so we're clear, i based brian on myself

you best give that vodka back...

you're useless Brian, put the girl back on

shes crying... are you happy now?

I did say no hairdressers!