1. Geneticists have noted that the common mouse is so short in length that when it passes flatulence, the smell of the mouse’s brain can be detected in the expiring gas. This is because the mouse’s brain aromas, or cerebral rodential emissions, have far less distance to travel than that of more elongated species. For this reason, male mice of high intelligence tend to flatulate a lot in order to prove their IQ to fertile females in the area. More dim-witted male mice, who don’t know any better, tend to flatulate just as much.
2. Disguises can be found everywhere in nature. They help creatures to cleverly camouflage themselves against their many predators. One famous example is the stick insect, whose disguise is so clever it’s been known to fool even its predators. But disguises aren’t exclusive to the insect kingdom. In the sea, large pieces of igneous rock with high mineral content frequently masquerade as delicious wild salmon, while the Booboo-One-Tit tribe from Central Africa has been known, when attempting to evade ethnic cleansing by rival factions, to take on the guise of a once-profitable Japanese consortium fallen on hard times by the low costs of China’s burgeoning economy.
3. Theraphosa blondi, the world’s largest spider, is famed for eating birds’ eggs and even chicks in branches high above the Amazon jungle’s forest floor. However, due to intensive deforestation and massive city expansion near Sao Paolo, Brazil, the aggressive arachnid has taken to leaving upmarket bistros without paying for four-course meals. This is no accident of nature. On being confronted on one occasion with the bill for a steak dinner by the restaurant manager after his meal, the hairy spider declared that he is entitled to eat whatever he wants for free, and if the manager doesn’t like it, then he can take his tiny tiddler, and, if he performs the miracle of stretching it enough, tuck it under his testicles and slip it into his anus where he knows what he can do with it. The tarantula-like creature then departed the restaurant to return unmolested to his nest in an affluent quarter of the city, where he lives rent-free at the expense of the other residents.
4. The cheetah wildcat underwent a genetic bottleneck in its recent evolutionary history that was so severe that today, if a male cheetah mates with a female cheetah, he is effectively auto-eroticising his twin brother from ten years in the future.
