EXT. GARDEN. DAY.

IT IS A BRIGHT SUNNY DAY, A BARBEQUE IS IN FULL SWING WITH PEOPLE MILLING AROUND. CENTRE SCREEN IS THREE FRIENDS, MARTIN, ROB AND JIM.

MARTIN
Oh go one then show us your latest trick.

JIM GIVES AN OH ALRIGHT FACE. HE PRODUCES A PACK OF CARDS FROM HIS POCKET.

JIM
Right both pick a card...

ROB HAS A PAINED EXPRESSION.

ROB
Excuse me a minute lads, I got a real itchy bum.

HE DISAPPEARS OFF SCREEN. THE TRICK CONTINUES AS MARTIN PICKS A CARD.

JIM
Right, now take a look at the card and memorise it. Now place it back in the deck.

MARTIN DOES SO.

JIM STARTS TO SHUFFLE THE CARDS, SUDDENLY HE IS AGHAST AND THE SHUFFLE GOES WRONG AND CARDS GO EVERYWHERE. HE IS STARING BEHIND MARTIN.

MARTIN
Interesting trick shuffle there.

HE NOTICES JIM STARING AND TURNS ROUNd. HE SIGHS.

MARTIN
Rob!

WE PAN ROUND TO REVEAL ROB, SANS TROUSERS, DRAGGING HIMSELF ALONG BY HIS BUM (MUCH LIKE A DOG WITH WORMS).

ROB
Ah, That's go it!

HE NOTICES PEOPLE STARING.

ROB
What? What?

Nice one. Completely threw me off guard with the card thing. There's me expecting him to produce the ace of clubs from his rectum.

(So, in a way, it was a comedy illusion...)

Hey - if you got your own series one day, it would work well with the same character in lots of different situations.

Thanks for your kind comments. Had that idea for a sketch for a while, but was looking for a decent enough 'diversion'.

Glad to hear it worked for you.

Thanks again.

Diversion: A means of getting out of doing work while looking as if you are actually doing something so your boss doesn't realise and tell you that if you don't pull your finger out, he/she will have to consider getting in a monkey to replace you. It doesn't even have to be trained.

I looked it up .

Good thing my boss is MC001, so we are both just as guilty and just as irresponsible.

So that's two monkeys taken from the wild then.....

PS I'm supposed to be doing research. Still up at stupid o'clock in the morning, still goofing off.