jesus is sat in old victorian looking chair in a shabby looking grotto. An bored looking teenager dressed as an elf walks in. next to him is a small scruffy looking child
ELF someone to see you jesus
JESUS ( in a santa voice) ho,ho,ho hello who do we have here?
CHILD Jim
JESUS Jim,ho ho ho, jolly good, jolly good and how old are you?
CHILD ( holding up two fingers in a rude way) three
JESUS oh i was three when i was your age,ho,ho,ho so have you been good this year?
CHILD yes
JESUS have you tidied your room?
CHILD yes
JESUS have you been eating your greens?
CHILD yes
JESUS you've not been coverting your neighbours ass? have you?
CHILD no
JESUS have you been worshiping graven images?
CHILD maybe a little
JESUS ho ho ho well at least you're being honest
CHILD where's my present jesus!
JESUS your present? it's my birthday! where's my present i mean ho ho ho, you cheeky monkey, oi Elf!
ELF What!
JESUS give little jim here his " i've meet jesus at selfridges " badge
ELF I ain't got none
CHILD (angry) where's my present!, where's my present!
JESUS your present is...you get to do heaven early
jesus takes out a gun and shoots the child
JESUS Next please
[I]a girl with a T shirt with next please written on it in bright yellow writing runs in[/
GIRL yes hello ,please by name please by nature that's me
Aha! I see what you've done there. Obviously this takes place after your earlier sketch with the whole recurring character thing. Nice touch (in the context of a whole show, I mean!)
I think the 'You haven't been coverting your neighbour's ass, have you?' line wouldn't fit in unless he clearly changed demeanour and became quite worried as he said it. ie, put a few pauses into that line so you don't 'break' the character you've built:
JESUS (CONCERNED): You've... erm... not been... erm... coverting your... erm... neighbour's ass... have you?
and where he asks him about graven images, be more explicit in what he's been worshipping (a golden blind dog or something much funnier than that poor example)
I like that you sort of end it and then have a 'bonus quickie' at the end. That bit could even be a separate sketch, with the two recurring characters meeting up later in a show.
