A CROWD OF ROWDY TEENS ARE ON THEIR WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL AND ARE SITTING UP THE BACK OF THE TOP DECK (AS WE ALL DID/DO). ONE HAS A MOBILE PHONE, OUT OF WHICH IS COMING A TINNY RENDITION OF THAT SONG ABOUT A LADY COVERED IN LUMPS BY THE BLACK EYED POTATOES, OR WHATEVER. THEY ARE GENERALLY MAKING A LOT OF NOISE AND THROWING BITS OF PAPER ETC. WE FOLLOW THE ARC OF A CHEW UP BUS TICKET UP THE AISLE UNTIL IT LANDS ON THE SIDE OF SOMEONE'S FACE.
A FEW ROWS OF SEATS IN FRONT OF THEM ARE TWO PENSIONERS (WE'LL CALL THEM JASPER AND GIBLET). THEY EXCHANGE A GLANCE AND TUT AS JAPSER REMOVES THE BUS TICKET FROM HIS EAR.
JASPER: Who's turn is it?
GIBLET: Mine I think...
JASPER: Right...
GIBLET STANDS UP AS JASPER PULLS OUT A CAMERA PHONE AND POINTS IT IN THE DIRECTION OF THE TEENS.
GIBLET STAGGERS UP TOWARDS THE KIDS, PRETENDING TO BE INFIRM AND DISORIENTED.
THE TEENS NOTICE HIM AND START TO SMIRK.
TEEN #1: All right Grandad?
GIBLET TURNS ON THE YOUTH AND SLAPS HIM HARD ACROSS THE CHOPS. HE THEN HIGH TAILS IT BACK TOWARDS JASPER, LEAVING THE TEENS IN UTTER SHOCK.
GIBLET: Did you get it?
JASPER IS ALSO NOW UP AND RUNNING TOWARDS THE STAIRS LEADING DOWN FROM THE TOP DECK.
JASPER: He, he, he... Yeah, classic...
GIBLET PAUSES AT THE TOP OF THE STAIR AND CALLS DOWN TO THE TEENS.
GIBLET: I'm nobodies Grandad, yer little gobsh*tes!
STILL CHUCKLING HE DISAPPEARS DOWN THE STAIRS. WE CLOSE ON A SHOT OF THE TEEN RUBBING HIS RED CHEEK.
Nice reversal. Feels like it needs a couple of throwaway gags/visuals happening in the background to keep you laughing. Something about uploading it to YouTube at the end maybe? Could he pull on a Burberry baseball cap as he says 'I'm nobody's grandad...' or something equally yoofful?
Good thinking swerty. This was based on my 60 something year old father in law deciding to get a camera phone so he could "go happy slapping". He's a card...
