How about a series of sketches about a family whom has a blatantly gay teenage son and the only pearson that cant see it(or is in complete denial)is his Ex Army Dad.

Sketch

Dad comes home early from shopping trip with mum. As they enter house Dad hears some strange noises coming from his sons bedroom. Mum tries to discourage dad from going upstairs. Dad sneaks up stairs where sounds get louder so dad rips open bedroom door.

Son sat stradaling his topless mate on bed.

Son
"What the Hell"

Dad has quick pause whilst he asses situation
"Margret call the police Dan's caught a burglar"

Dan
"he isnt a burglar dad hesmy friend"

Dad again pausing
"OH i get it now walks over to bed practicing a few wrestling moves hey, well when i was in the army"

Dad starts showing some choke holds on dans mate befrore getting up an patting his son on the back,

"Keep going boys if you need any more tips i will be down stairs"

could think of millions of senarios but i am sure tou guys and gals could come up with some belters

The burglar line in this is fantastic!

I can imagine this scanrio getting cult status like a Harry Enfield gag, it's simple and really works.

thanks for your kind words

in referance to the catchphrase it could be his long suffering wife always trying to explaining about there son only to be interrupted halfway through with "he is not gay"

That sketch is hilarious.

Dad looking like commando at the local paintballing club as he waits for his son and his 'friend' to come out of the changing rooms.

Dan and friend come out of chainging rooms looking like an advert for gay chat with cam cream looking like makeup

Dad pauses whilst he looks them over
"mmmmm intresting choice of uniform, luring the enemy into a false sense of security hey? good right lets go"

Flicks to later on in the day whilst Dad is searching for son around heavily wooded area, he parts trees to find Dan snogging his friend.

Dan
"DAD,, I was just"

Dad pausing
"Just being a bloody hero"

Dad pushes Dan of his mate Pulls his mates head back whilst pinching his nose and proceeds to adminster Cpr whilst his friend is gagging

Dad shouts
" Man down i repeat Man down"

Dad carrys on giving cpr to Dan struggling friend whilst Dan bursts into to tears

Dad
"Dont worry son i never let a team member down in all my years in the army and i wont let one go now"

Cut to later scene with dan,s friend being led away wrapped in a foil blanket to a perplexed looking ambulance staff.
Dad pulling away in passenger seat of car whilst wife margret drives away with Dan still sobbing in back of car

Dad
"don't worry son its just a little post traumatic stress disorder"

Margret
"This has got to stop why dont you just face the fact dan is......

Dad interrupts abruptly

"He is not gay"

Dad

"Now comon and lets get home i think our little hero could do with a stiff drink"

really like the sketch! as you say, there's hundreds of possibilites with this, at the end of the run of sketches I'd have the dad come out of the closet a la "American beauty" just to give it a final twist.

I have got Dan catching his dad in bed with his boyfriend as the final twist!!!!

Cheers for your feedback

I agree. Great sketches. potential is huge. I expect to see it on telly soon. Not arse-kissing. Just calling it like I see it.

Thanks

This one really needs a push, its got so much portential.

Thanks again J B

when you gonna post a sketch dude?

Very nice sketch Jamie G !!!

I had an idea for a traditional family type sitcom ... Mom, Dad, Son & Daughter BUT where both kids are gay and the Dad just couldn't see it ... it was called "One of Each" but I never wrote it... you need a whole bunch of jokes to make it work and I dried up on it...

Frankie

Maybe you should get a forum together to develop your sketch? It has obviously struck a chord with some of us!

F

I just read it again ... the "he's caught a burglar" line is good enough to have been in ANY comedy show that's EVER been on telly... anybody could get a laugh with that line... you must have wet yourself when you first wrote that one...

Cheers, and goodnight mate... I'm off home to my gaff to have another crack at "Festivals"...

Frankie
The Count

Cheers frankie boy, i notice your sketches starting to get good reveiws

well done son, much deserved too

Dan trying to pluck up the courage to tell his Dad of his sexuality ask's his Dad to meet him down the local gay pub the 'Cock Inn'.

Dad on phone-
"So i will meet you in there at eight son, make mine a pint of mild"

Dan puts phone back on pub table as Dans boyfriend places his hand upon Dans.

Dans Boyfriend-

"Look its gonna be okay, your Dad will understand"


Dans Dad walks up to pub and glances through the window, To his horror he sees that Dan is wearing a tight leather suit with a dog collar and his face is covered in makeup.As he scans round the pub he notices that everybody is dressed like Extras in a YMCA video.


Close up of Dans dad face as it drops. He then turns away and starts to hurry home


Dan is looking at the clock reading 8;30 when his phone bleeps with a message from Dad.


<I saw you lot in the pub earlier and i am bloody furious how could you not tell me son? anyway please dont think i am too set in my ways as not to still want to get involved. see you in a min>

Dan smiles and as he and his boyfriend read the message together then they notice the door open and a giant chicken walks in, The giant chicken walks over to Dans table.

Dad
"I might be old son but i still love a good fancy dress party, now comon what are you and your mate having?"

Customer
"Its not a theme bar mate its a gay bar"

Dad
"A what bar"

Dans boyfriend
"I think Dan wants you to understand that he is ga."

Dad in giant chicken outfit lays out Dans friend

"He is not gay"

Dan is stood shaking and crying

Dad grabs dan

"Dont worry son, iam just as upset as you, not a good time to find out your best mates a pervert"

Dan leaves with giant chicken

I'm perhaps feeling grumpy this fine Friday morning, but... hasn't this been done before, a lot? Maybe showing my age, especially as I can't remember the reference, but the "blind to son's gayness" theme was I'm sure a Harry Enfield or similar running sketch... I dunno. Well written, and v.funny this! Who am I, etc.

Btw, the Dad in American Beauty didn't come out, but that's probably for another forum.

I think the HArry Enfield Dad knew his son was gay but was embarrasing by trying to be politically correct but failing. Unwittingly coming out with outrageous double entendres.

***

A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre.. so he gave her one.

there has been similar skeches but i think this is an original take on the old 'my son is not gay' senario (i hope!) thanks for the comments anway as all feed back is welcome

hiya all

Hi ya mate... this sketch forever to be remembered for the "...he's caught a burgular..." line.

There's a lot of scope for a Christmas Special on (hopefully) the "new" site?

Fx

Bringing back some old school... can any of you new guys do out with this????

Is Davina's bandwagon full yet or I can I still jump on? It's ok not stopping I'm just popping in to put twelve bull elephant tranquilizers into Frankie's tea. (they ran out of suppositories).

I like the sktech a lot Jamie, I just haven't drank as much spiked mulled wine as some. I shall endeavour to do out with this as much as possible, in fact it shall be a New Year's resolution.

how about twisting it..the fact that his son is not gay is a huge disappointment to his ex army dad.

Its slightly surreal but would love to hear the major barking 'But what's wrong with a bit of c**k boy?'..army being full of men and all that..it would be reasonable to surmise dad was that way inclined..however his son who likes musical theatre and wants to be a fashion designer is a raging hetero...?

thoughts?

I think there are tanks gathering outside your house now Scott...