Gary, The Schizophrenic

1. (Gary is queuing up at a burger shop, such as McDonald’s, and he reaches the end of the line.)

Guy At Till: Can I take your order, please?

Gary: Can I have a quarter pounder, with cheese, please.

Guy At Till: Would you like a meal?

Voice In Gary’s Head: (The voice is quite deep, croaky, and scary) Buy a meal! (Quietly)

Gary: But I don’t want a meal (sounding scared, and whiney)

Guy At Till: Okay, just the burger, that’ll be $2.

Voice: (more forceful, this time) Buy a meal!

(The guy at the till returns with the burger)

Gary: I want a meal!

Guy At Till: Okay.

Voice: Say that you didn’t want cheese.

Gary: I didn’t want cheese!

Voice: Throw it in his face!

Gary: No.

Voice: Do It!

Gary: (while rubbing the burger in the cashier’s face) I’m so sorry!

2.(Gary is at the ketchup, and he is waiting behind a man. The man picks up a packet and leaves.)

Voice: Take all the ketchup.

Gary: No, other people want it, that’s inconsiderate!

Voice: Take it!

Gary: Fine, I’ll do it!

(Gary picks up all of the ketchup and puts it on the tray. People in the queue start to complain, and a member of staff walks up to Gary.)

Member of Staff: I’m sorry sir, but you can’t take all of that ketchup.

Voice: Put one back.

(Gary put’s one packet back in the bowl.)

Member Of Staff: You’re going to have to put it all back, sir.

Voice: Run!

IMHO, these are great, dankatan. Enjoyed the first one the most coz I didn't know what to expect but they're all good. Love the ketchup on the car and charging the guy for the privilege. Might be funnier if the "voice" wasn't internalised. A good actor could probably milk it more with both characters being performed, but he tries to keep the voice hidden. I dunno. Just a thought.

Thanks that's actualy quite a goodidea. Glad, you liked it because i did'nt know what sort of response i would get from this sketch.