Int. Brian and Jenny’s ‘front room’ – 19.00

Brian and Jenny are sat at a dining table. Jenny has a notepad in front of her.

Jenny: So, who exactly are we going to invite to this dinner party?

Brian: Do we really have to have one? I mean, they’re such pretentious affairs.

Jenny: YES! We do have to have one. Now, start thinking. Who can we invite?

Brian: Cor, that’s a tough one. So many things have to be taken into consideration. If we get the mix of people just ever so slightly wrong, then it’ll be a social disaster. I don’t think we should risk it, to be honest.

Jenny: Well Sandra and James are definitely getting an invite.

Brian: Hang on, hang on! You know how argumentative they get after a few drinks.

Jenny: Oh yes, that’s a good point. Better cross that one out. How about Mr Simpkins from next door?

Brian: Hmmm, well, I think he’s a bit too shy for dinner parties.

Jenny: I suppose so. What about my friend, Sally?

Brian: Her fingernails are too long.

Jenny: What?

Brian: They’re too long. Far too long for a dinner party. C’mon, fire some more names off.

Jenny: Would your Uncle Pete come?

Brian: He’d love to come!

Jenny: Ah excellent.

Brian: But, he’s booked up solid for dinner parties until next March.

Jenny: Well how about your mate Phil?

Brian: He won’t be in the mood. He’s caught herpes.

Jenny: Oh right. You know, I think your mother would love to come.

Brian: Nah, she’s got herpes as well. (GRIMACES) Don’t ask

Jenny: GAAHHHH! Look, Brian, stop fobbing me off with these ridiculous excuses.

Brian: I’m not! I’m not! The right names just aren’t coming up.

Jenny: Hmph! Well how about your boss? It could do your career some good if we invited him.

Brian: He’s too busy selling state secrets to the Russians.

Jenny: What about Mike from your office? Surely he’s free?!

Brian: He’s not been seen since the boss accused him of working for MI6.

Jenny: GAAAHHH! Why are you being so difficult?!

Brian: Look, I’m not. I just want this party to be special. We need special people for it.

Jenny: (GETTING ANGRY) Oh yeah? Well how ‘bout we ask the Dalai Lama?

Brian: All he’d do is waffle on about logarithmic algorithms all night.

Jenny: Maybe Archbishop Desmond Tutu then?

Brian: No, no. I can’t stand those brown trousers he insists on wearing.

Jenny: Well what about the bloody 1968 European Cup Winning Manchester United Squad?!

Brian: Darling, you know I’m a Spurs fan through and through.

Jenny screams and then throws the notepad onto the floor. She holds her head in her hands.

Jenny: (ENRAGED) JESUS CHRIST!

There is a slight pause.

Brian: But I always thought you were an atheist.

THE END

© 2007

It would fit well into an episode of 'Outnumbered' into that sort of upper middle-class Notting Hill type home, so you might be on the right track if that's the area you were aiming it. I thought some of the responses from Brian were a bit weak to my mind. But it's always horses for courses, ain't it?

Good sketch!

Just to qualify that, what I mean is 'a bit weak' for YOU! Some of your sketches (like the chip shop one) are as good as sketches can get IMHO!

A wonderful myriad of excuses.

However, if you really want to take advice from a noob, push the connecting-the-excuses-to-each-other envelope even further, and I hohestly don't "understand" the punch line. Maybe...

-JESUS CHRIST
-No no, he's proably busy anyhow

or somthing. i did like ti though, good clean muiltible-joke scenario

Another brilliant sketch to your collection. How many have you got altogether. Have you thought about putting them together and sending them into the bbc writers room as a whole script.

Very Funny.

Thanks, Dan!

I've got probably about 20 sketches which I consider best.

I've been sending off a couple of collections to various production companies, but heard nothing back yet.

Just got to keep on writing I guess!

Whch production companies hv u sent them off too and how many.