A man is standing on the pavement and looking impatient. He sees someone walking towards him.
Man: About time!
A workman walks into frame in hi-vis vest etc.
Workman: I hear you’re not happy about the tarmaccing we did yesterday.
Man: Not happy?! I’m furious!
The workman looks around at the pavement.
Workman: Looks like a very nice piece of work this.
Man: Oh does it? Well how about I show you how it’s affected my jumping!
Workman: What?
Man: Look!
The man starts trying to jump, but appears to be stuck to the pavement.
Workman: Hmmm, I wonder what’s happened here.
Man: Perhaps I stumbled into an area of dense gravity!
Workman: You think?
Man: NO! Your associates tarmacced me here!
Workman: You weren’t holding them up were you?
Man: No. Well, I did look down at my shoelaces for a split second, but-
Workman: Ah, you see we’re working to very tight deadlines.
Man: I don’t care! It’s been raining for the last 3 hours and I’ve been here all night.
Workman: All night?
Man: Oh no, I popped off home for a few hours between 3 and 6 a.m! YES! ALL night!
Workman: I guess we could get you dug up
Man: When?
Workman: That’s not up to me. You’ll have to go down the council and fill a form in.
Man: Fill a form in?! How the hell do you expect me to do that?!
Workman: Can’t you write?
Man: Of course I can, but I’m somewhat immobile at the minute!
Workman: Oh yeah, the tarmac and that.
The man holds his hand out.
Man: This rains getting a lot harder now.
Workman: Let me put a call in. See what I can sort out.
The workman pulls out his mobile phone and dials a number which is soon answered.
Workman: Hello, mate. It’s about this bloke who’s got tarmacced to the pavement on Thayer Street. (BEAT) What? Coming down here right now? (BEAT) Jesus, that’s quick. (BEAT) Alright then, cheers.
The workman hangs up.
Man: Sounds as though my lucks changing at last.
Workman: Not really, mate. Local rivers burst it’s banks. Floods coming.
