WHAT'S MY SALAD? TACKY QUIZ SHOW MUSIC MARTIN : HI! I'm Eric Tarzan and welcome to What's My Salad? The show where we ask our panel of ordinary members of the public to identify a salad belonging to a celebrity....Let's meet tonight's panel....
TACKY QUIZ SHOW MUSIC MARTIN : Good evening to you sir? And your name is?
FERGUS (DANNY) : (NERDY VOICE) The thing that I am known to others by...
MARTIN : Sorry?
FERGUS : My name is the thing that I am known to others by...
MARTIN : Oh, right yes...but what is it? No, no...I'd better rephrase that...What are you known to others as?
FERGUS : Mr. Fergus Speeg....
MARTIN : And what is your occupation Mr. Speeg?
FERGUS : It is that which I occupy myself with...
MARTIN : Yes...of course it is....let me rephrase again...er...what vocation do you occupy yourself with?
FERGUS : I'm unemployed....
MARTIN : I see...how unfortunate...any hobbies?
FERGUS : Yes....
MARTIN : And what are they?
FERGUS : They are the things that I do to occupy myself when I'm not being unemployed....
MARTIN : Yes I know that! But be specific, name your hobbies for us please!
FERGUS : Well my main past time is interpreting what people say to me far too literally....
MARTIN : Really? I'd have never have guessed...and can you name your other hobbies...?
FERGUS : Yes...
MARTIN : Go on then....
FERGUS : I enjoy appearing on quiz shows....
MARTIN : So tonight's something of a dream come true for you then really isn't it Mr. Speeg?
FERGUS : No, I've never dreamt about meeting you before...
MARTIN : Oh shut up...and let's move on to our next panellist.. Hello sir and what's your name?
BERGUS (DANNY) : It is the thing that I am known to others by...
MARTIN : Oh no! I don't believe it....and pray tell sir, what are you known to others as?
BERGUS : Mr. Bergus Speeg, twin brother of Fergus....
MARTIN : Good, let's move swiftly past you then and onto our third panellist. And you are?
WESTINGHOUSE (DANNY) : I am Westinghouse Flowerball....
MARTIN : And your occupation?
WESTINGHOUSE : Five foot six...
MARTIN : Good! Right let's get on with it then shall we? Mandy, will you bring on the first salad of the evening please?
TACKY QUIZ SHOW MUSIC
MARTIN : Thank you...well there it is then panellists, who do we think that belongs to? FERGUS (DANNY) : Err....is it Miriam Stoppard?
MARTIN : No...
FERGUS : Mr. Motivator?
MARTIN : No, would you like a clue?
FERGUS : Yes please...
MARTIN : Alright, ten points off everyone's scores then....and here's clue number one....a piece of paper with the name Georgie Fame written on it....
WESTINGHOUSE (DANNY) : Uhmm....is it Dennis Waterman?
MARTIN : No...
FERGUS (DANNY) : Harrison Ford?
MARTIN : Try Georgie Fame....
BERGUS (DANNY) : Is it Gene Hackman?
MARTIN : No, try saying Georgie Fame...
FERGUS : Can we have another clue please?
MARTIN : Alright...and here it is...a larger piece of paper with the name Georgie Fame written on it, in three foot high bold lettering....so who do we think it could be?
A game show where 8 people are laid out on hospital gurneys covered with sheets.
The contestants aim is to correctly guess if each one is a gonner (dead) or sconner (please don't make me explain!). If they are a gonner they will have a tag round their toe .. of course their not really dead 'cos that would just be weird!
I like this sketch, it catches the frustration of the viewer/listener and acts as we would withouit being overly obnormal for the sake of plot... not that it has a plot but that's part of the charm. Difficult to do I feel but done well here none the less.
An excellent sketch. At most sketches on this site I laughed a bit at the punchline but at this one I laughed out loud several times. Congrats to you I think.
