PRESENTER: I'm here at the S-O-S...D-W-H-I-T-R-A-T-A-O-P-W-R-O-N , or Society of Specialised Doctors Who Help In The Rehabilitation And The Advancement Of People With Rarity Of Name, or (phonetically) Sossed whit rat aop ron.
VOICE OFF CAMERA: We've only 5 minutes left now get on with it!
PRE: Ok! Doctor Patrick Swift tells..am exp..says am...it.
DOC: Well here at 'sossed whit rat aop ron' the rare-named are given a chance to shine. Names of people who have never made a difference, who are obscure.
We take people with both 1st name or last name rarity such as Birry Wilson, Kevin Underson and sometimes both, Jannifure O' Sallivan. These people are on the lower echilon of society. We find that they are given less of a chance than their more popular named counterparts. Here at 'sossed....' we give them the opportunity to progress and attempt to build their confidence before releasing them back into society, hoping that they can live much more fulfilling lives and not feel hindered by their debilitating names.
We have several wings here, such as the animal wing with patients such as Alan Dolphin, Harold Sheepdog and Bat Nelligan or Flipper, Lassie and Vampire as we affectionately call them (laughs).
PRE: Do you think its fair to make fun of their disability like that?
DOC: Here at 'sossed..' we dont see their names as a disability. We see them more as something that impedes them from being able to do things that people without the problem can do easily.
PRE: But isnt that what a disability is?
DOC: Yes... Moving along. Here we are now on the celebrity wing. Don't get excited we dont actually have any celebrities of any sort here but we do have names pretty damn close. Heres our political area.. Bordon Grown there, Distillary Clinton, Benjamin Netanyahoo. Very close there for Benjamin only for the emphasis on the 'ooo' at the end he had it nailed.
They often live in the shadow of their more famous name-alikes. We hope that our rehabilitating will improve their outlook.
Ah we're coming into the entertainment area now. We've got an Amy Beershed, Jools Netherlands and someone I've been working closely with, Binglebert Dumperdink. They're all making good progress here.
One of our techniques is that we use the real name as an anchor and by latching onto that we try to bring them on a par with their name-alike. If its a celebrity name-alike, the celebrity is a very strong anchor so we nearly have a 100% success rate with those.
We once actually used a celebrity horse as a successful anchor. Yes we had a man come in here with the unfortunate name of 'Redbum'. Now he should have been a hopeless case but thanks to that legendary horse Redrum we were able to rehabilitate him.
It was a joy to watch him over the weeks making steady progress. Oh I'll never forget the day he was released. He cantered out onto the green, ate some grass and jumped out over the railing with Frinkie Thetory falling off his back in the process.
You see strictly speaking 'Redbum' should have been a hopeless case like these poor souls here. With no anchor comes no hope of rehabilitation. Here we are in the hopeless wing. Theres a Forsip Bangpappapquepetal, Nananana Morpeepgum, Harmagan Pabick Milupa, Duplicate Mossooop, Undernaught Haaa and we're admitting more and more celebrity children each year. Only for sharing their parents last name there would be little hope which actually sounds a bit like 1 of their names.
DRIFTS OFF THINKING.
DOC: Mmm...... And thats about it. Any Questions?
PRE: Yes. You know the way you said you didnt have an end to this sketch and you didnt feel the last end was good enough. Why did you ask me to ask this question and the cut?
CUT.
END.
I was thinking if it was part of a half hour sketch show at the very end you could have:
...(LAST PART OF HALF HOUR SHOW CUT TO DOCTOR SITTING AT HIS DESK. DOC: 'Because I couldnt think of anything else'.)
Highly inventive - I like this a lot indeed. Lots of neat verbal twists (like at describing what a disibility is) plus a good pace as well.
Could there be a rival support group that deal wtih people who have names that are difficult to spell? Folk like 'Sara' and 'Sarah' are living a nightmare, and there's about 6 regional variations of mine.
Also, my middle name is Eugene. Never got on with it. Do I qualify?
Indeed. These support groups are popping up all over the country. There is a difficult to spell support group. Very popular with Sara/Sarah and Denis/Dennis.
There is also an Irish/English pronounciation association. Names like Aoife, Padraig, Mairead, Caoimhe,Oisin and Gearoid are common there and you're in luck for only last month ECOMPHIW was founded. Eugene Cornelius and Other Middlenames People Have Issues With. I hope thats what you're looking for Cheers for the comment.
Thanks Martinovic. Ah yes the 1/2 hour sketch show. I'm looking forward to seeing how it pans out. Is it going to be submitted to something or is it to showcase what people on the site can do? Good luck with the putting together of it. May the force be with you
Idea was to hawk it about as a showreel a bit. Been busy with other stuff and so it's taken an age. Will finish it though honest. What are you up to these days - any new videos coming soon?
I have a few new videos up on, not 'me cylinder' but ... under MikeOtterfox. I'm mainly writing at the moment and when we all get together we try an film something. Danny seems to be very busy writing at the moment. I'm looking forward to seeing what all our collaborative efforts will be like.
Absolutely. It was great working with you before and it would be great to work together more. It was a fantastic experience the last time and I learned a lot about camera set up and getting different angles etc. The event in July should be good.
Cheers for the comment.
