RUNNING GAG. A LAS VEGAS BOXING MC COMES TO THE UK AND WORKS IN VARIOUS JOBS.


SCENE 1. INT. DAY. LIBRARY.

WOMAN: Could I borrow these two books please?

MC: (very loudly/slowly) Baaaaaaaaaccccccckkkkkkkkk ( PAUSE) iiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnn (PAUSE) ttttwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooo (PAUSE) wwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkksssssssssssssss.


SCENE 2 . EXT. DAY. FUNERAL. HE IS WORKING AS A VICAR.

(SFX OUTDOOR NOISES/ DIRT BEING THROWN ON COFFIN)

MC: (very loudly/slowly) Aaaaaassssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeesssssss (PAUSE) tttooooooooooooooooooo (PAUSE) aaaaaaaasssssssssshhhhhhhhheeeeeessssssssss. (PAUSE). Dddduuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssssssttttttttt (PAUSE) tttttooooooooooooooooooooo (PAUSE) dddddduuuuuuussssssssssstttttttttttttttt.


SCENE 3: EXT. DAY. POLICE STAKE-OUT. HE IS WORKING AS A POLICEMAN AND ARRESTS A CRIMINAL AND READS HIM HIS RIGHTS.

MC: (very loudly/slowly) Yyyyyyyyoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu (PAUSE) Ddddooooooooooooooooooo (PAUSE) nnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooottttttttttt (PAUSE) hhhhhaaaaaaavvvvvvveeeeeeeeee (PAUSE) tttttttttoooooooooooooooooooooo (PAUSE) sssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (PAUSE) aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyttttthhhhhiiiiiinnnngggggggg.

THE CRIMINAL RUNS OFF BEFORE THE MC FINISHES GIVING HIM A CAUTION.

MC: (very loudly/slowly) Oooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppssssssssssss.

ENDS.