Station Announcer: "...Rugby, Milton Keynes Central, London Euston and Mombasa Junction".
Passenger 1 (Old, respectable lady): Oooh Mombasa, apparently its one of these new tilting trains as well.
Passenger 2 (Old, equally respectable lady): they are lovely, Pedo-somethings i think they're called, sounds a bit like a pasta based dish. Where is Mombasa?
Passenger 1: Kent, i think...
Passenger 3 (Suited business man): Kenya actually, its a seaport.
Passenger 2: Must be lovely weather there this time of year.
Passenger 4 (Elderly gentleman, northern accent): Mom-bloody-basa! Don't be so bloody ridiculous...he must have said Morden or something.
Passenger 3: No, i assure you it was definitely Mombasa...there was an administrative error at Network Rail last year, producing a sequence of events that resulted in Mombasa being added as the final stop on the West Coast mainline.
Passenger 4: Administrative error!!
Station Announcer: "The 10.32am service to Banbury is delayed by approximately 15 mins, thats 1...5...minutes due to the re-reading of Denholm Elliot's will outside Princes Risborough".
Passenger 4: Bloody disgrace! This is a complete ruddy shambles! Next he'll be making excuses about my train being cancelled at the behest of Penelope bloody Keith.
Station Announcer: "The Peter Bowles service to St Albans is cancelled at the request of the family of Penelope Keith...i am very sorry for any inconvenience this may cause"
