Sorry to flood the forums with my shoddy workmanship

(A few people are setting up i.e. finishing off party preparation, and getting their aprty hats and blow-streamers etc ready. It’s a promotion party, and many are dressed like policeman)
One: Ok everyone, Tristan, soon to be sergeant…
(All cheer mildly)
On: Yes yes, and his wife Julie has called saying they will be here soon, so into your positions. Gertie, hit the lights.
(Lights go off, dusky-half light. We hear/see a car coming)
One: Oh oh, ok everyone, everyone he’s here, get ready
(Dead silence, before we her dark stumbling and kafuffle)
All: Surprise!
(Lights flick on. It’s a balaclava burglar ripping off some CDs. He looks up like a buck in the headlights)
One: Ah. How awkward.
(Burglar runs for it. He has to scout back to get his crow-bar. He is stopped running away a third time by a man running blocking his path)
PC Runner: He’s coming!
(They force the burglar to sit and be quite, and they race into positions, flicking the lights. Another noise and kerfuffle, this time more awkward shuffling then crashing
Wait wait wait
Then…)
All: Surprise! (Burglar says it a little later)
(Lights flick on. A man (Tristan) is dragging the bloody corpse of his wife though the doorway. He is covered in her blood, as the carving knife he is clutching his hand.)
One: Ah. How awkward. What, umm, what happened to Julie, Tristan.
Tristan: Umm, well, it’s the darndest thing.
Burglar: Well, this really takes the heat off me.
End