New Member
|
Just for fun I played around with the begining of your sketch (I really like it) and wound up with something completely and entirely different. Its silly and violent and not very good but just thought you might like to see.
John: ok you ready?
Paul: Ohhhhhhhh (fake laugh) I’m ready all right.
John: Ok but, we need to get our alibis straight before we do this. If the law come a knocking they have to be watertight.
Paul: I got ya.
John: If the police ask where you were the night that the prime minister got shot, what do you say?
Paul: Well it depends on if the law is coming by land or by sea.
John: What are you talking about?
Paul: Well I was just thinking, you know, like, what would our founding fathers say in answer to your question. I’m pretty sure Paul Reveree would want to know if the law was coming by land or by sea.
John: Ugh, fine whatever. Lets just say they’re coming by land. What would you say you were doing.
Man 2: Ok well, I would say that I was not on the 15th floor of the BT Tower wielding (PICKS UP RIFLE) this L96 sniper rifle which has an effective range of 900m, weighs around 6.5 kg and has a muzzle velocity of 838 meters per second.
Man 1: No, you idiot!
Paul: Why I thought that was pretty good. First I used the 15th floor when really we’re on the 16th and secondly I said we were NOT there. Double whammy. Whammy style. If you ask me.
John: NO. NO no. You tell them you were at Samantha Mimosa’s house watching television.
Paul: Samantha Mimosa who?
John: Samantha Mimosa!
Paul: Samantha? Actually, I think I do know a Samantha Mimosa
John: Of course you do! She’s your wife!
Paul: Ah yes!
John: So you’ve got it straight.
Paul: Yeah. I, I, think so. (thinks) except…
Man 1: What?
Paul: I don’t think my wife’s name is Samantha.
John: Wait, what? Who’s your wife?
Paul: (deep in thought) I wonder what Paul Reveree would say.
John: You’re impossible. The president is going to leave the podium before we ever get this straight.
Paul: Hold your horses. Let me just check my pocket guide entitled “Answers Paul Revere would give in response to questions asked of him.” Ahhh here. He would either say Sarah or Rachel depending on when you ask.
John: Really? Go Paul. Ok so, just to get this straight, you’re at Rachel’s house right now. Not here. Ok?
Paul: Yeaahhh that’s pretty hard to do, but I’m with ya.
(John and Paul prepare their guns at the window to shoot, we hear revolutionary voices offstage. Several (a) secret agent(s) storm the room with a man in a long jacket and powdered wig and the president)
Paul: ah! Ah! They came by sea! They came by sea!
George Washington: (shoots them) Paul Revere wasn’t even a founding father (blows on gun to cool it down) he didn’t know how to get stuff done.
Secret agent: George Washington and Mr. President, are you both all right?
President: Of course, George Washington always knows what to do.
George Washington: (to dead Paul and John) Let that be a lesson to you kids. Pick your Revolutionary War Heroes carefully. Because some of them wound of dead.
Secret Agent: You’re such an inspiration to us all, George. What’s your wife’s name?
George: I don’t remember.
|
