NARRATOR: And now we cross to Julian Nadgerley who this morning is in a field somewhere near Ipswich... Julian?
FX: RAINING
JULIAN: Thanks John, and I am indeed here in a very wet field with Mark Camel and his girlfriend Maria Dejavu... and can I just ask before we start Maria...
MARIA: (SIGH) No... we haven't met before...
JULIAN: (CHUCKLE) Are you sure...
MARIA: Oh yes... I'm sure...
JULIAN: Ok well, Mark, you're a metal detectorist right?
MARK: I am Julian yes... although we prefer the term field walker...
JULIAN: And how long have you been doing this?
MARK: Oh since...
MARIA: Since Jan 15th 1987... it were raining then and it's bl**dy raining now...
JULIAN: Do you have a detector yourself Maria?
MARK: Oh no... she wouldn't understand how to use one... would yer love?
MARIA: Oh... I'd know exactly how to use one... Plus I have enough of him whining in me ear, don't need a machine doing it as well...
JULIAN: I see, and recent finds? Anything significant?
MARK: I've found a few Saxon belt buckles... you know, the odd fire damaged horse brass..
JULIAN: And you Maria?
MARIA: Oh I've only ever found meself wondering what I'm doing here...
JULIAN: Why do you come out then Maria, field walking's obviously not your cup of tea...
MARK: Ahh, she's only pulling your leg Julian, she loves it really don't yer Maria?
MARIA: No, Mark, I don't... but you happen to have inherited an awful lot of money from your dead Nan... so... you know, what's a lass gonna do?
JULIAN: Mark, what's the situation for people wanting to take up your hobby? I mean, can you go out anywhere and start detecting?
MARK: Oh no, you've got to have permission of the land owner... I myself am licensed by Colchester museum, so I'm sort of street legal as it were...
MARIA: It's more fun when you've not got permission though. One night we got shot at by a man with an air pisol and this huge farmers son pinned me down in a copse... best night o my life that...
JULIAN: So is there money to be made? Are the fields of britain full of buried treasures?
MARK: Well, it's very rare that you find anything of great value Julian...
MARIA: That's right... in generally it is an utterly futile way to spend yer time...
MARK: But there is a social side...
MARIA: Oh aye... there's plenty of c*ck to be had if that's what you're looking for. And there's not as many beards in pack-a-macks involved as you might think.
JULIAN: Well, for now, that's all from Mark, Maria and I in Ipswich, so it's back to you in the studio John...
This is very funny. The characters are very funny and i think they are very developed so much that you should think of putting maria and Mark into some sort of sitcom.
