Amazingly, I actually thought of this idea before all the latest news from the house (I'm freaked out too) and I have decided that, since this is a channel 4 site after all, to post my first draft here and ask you if you think I have gone too far. I don't believe I have but I wanna confirm this.



TOASTER WATCH SHOCKER:

A “Channel 11 news” title complete with serious sound music. Cut to a news reader in a bad toupee.

News reader: The controversy over this year's edition of "Toaster Watch" seems to now have escalated. The abuse row started after last week’s shocking live feed. Angela Lewis had this report.

Angela: Thanks Derek. (Changes camera angle) The controversy started after Tuesday’s late night live edition of Channel 11’s most popular reality show “Toaster Watch” after the popular Tefal two-slice from Peckham suffered from a faulty spring.

We start to see overhead footage of the toaster and a woman with a knife

Angela: (VO) Rather than switching it off at the mains, the toaster’s owner, 37 year old Mrs Summerby, launched a vicious attack on the toaster with a butter knife, in full disregard of her two year guarantee.

We see footage of tefal workers protesting with placards.

Angela: (VO) This shocking act has sent shockwaves through the electrical appliance industry, causing mass protest across many parts of ……some places. A grand total of 6 viewers have written into the show, complaining about Mrs Summerby’s actions.

Cut to a shot of a very old man

Old man: It shows a total lack of respect towards standard health and safety. This woman should think about the young ‘uns who will watch this and think it’s perfectly fine to stick a piece of metal into an electrical piece of apparatus

Anglea: A spokesman had this to say about Mrs Summerby’s actions.

Cut to a man in a suit talking to reporters.

Spokesman: Mrs Summerby apologises for any offence cause by her toast rescuing actions. She was concerned about her toast burning and causing a fire. She in no way intended to invalidate her warranty.

Angela: Currys have pulled out sponsorship as a precaution.



END (Of my writing career?)

PS, Okay, the last line? I thought of after!

If anyone is to blame, it's the Junkmales. Their title idea warped my little tiny mind.

Someone has said that the whole BB thing has been coming for weeks. I didn't know! Only drift in and out 'cause of the Face.

Is it a bad thing that I think he looks damn good for his age?

Toaster Watch is so much more than a sentance idea... he says enigmatically..

So I think I may have enough money for some chips now..

No danny, I think you definitely haven't gone to far (But then I don't think a lot is). A sketch that reflects real life, and especially when people have strong views on a suject, is a good and important thing to do in my opinion. Good job.

quote:

Originally posted by Jax2:
No danny, I think you definitely haven't gone to far

At least you're not in trouble Danny!

Thank you Jax2 . Sounds funny but I don't like upseting people. Despite what the police say, I'm too nice for my own good sometimes yet my mouth and pen sometimes work to get me lynched.

Danny, where is the god damn can of lilt?!

For some reason I typed 'danny' instead of 'GS' in my post. My brain gets muddled up sometime and I talk backwards and pour orange juice on weetabix and put folks in the dishwasher before I've used them etc.

Welcome to my world.

I once tried to brush my teeth with foundation.

I once tried to brush my teeth with haemmoroid cream. Yuck!! But I did get a nice Christmas card from the loo attendant at work

quote:

put folks in the dishwasher before I've used them etc.

That's only legal in Louisiana!

Better than putting dirty things back in cupboards and drawers.

Some guys think licking the plate counts as cleaning.

quote:

Some guys think licking the plate counts as cleaning.

It doesn't? My mum is going to be so mad...

ToasterWatch and ToasterWatch's Extra Slice are awaiting moderation - JunkMales quickies.

JunkMales will return in "The Elizabethan in My Shed..."

MC

"Lesbian Toasterwatch" is fast becoming the new non-PC sensation, er...her name was Flora and she sure know how to spread Marge

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Rube... you know, when there's one obvious awful joke that you just don't want to hear... well...

...you can rely on ol' Frankie