please update soon , i luv tihsfic

Part One Of TOnight's Two Parter

Part 43 John Paul x

John Paul sat on the edge of the hospital bed and drummed his fingers impatiently on it; one of many habits he had picked up from Craig, and wished he hadn't. He looked down at the floor and sighed. He hadn't spoken to Craig at all since 'the incident'; as John Paul had named it. Time seemed to be ticking by at a painfully slow pace. Each second felt like an eternity, another eternity John Paul had to spend in that hell hole that had over the last few weeks become his home. He felt a mixture of emotions, glad to be able to leave the hospital and return to his home; yet at the same time deflated that he wouldn't be returning to Craig. He hadn't heard from him at all since he had been in hospital and John Paul was certain he was in Dublin by now. Did he even know what had happened? Maybe if he knew, knew what he meant to John Paul they still had a chance of making this work? John Paul shook all thoughts of hope out of his brain. Of course Craig knew what had happened, he had found him for Chr*st's sake. John Paul's mum had told him everything, how she had to knock because she couldn't find the spare key, how Craig had been sobbing so hard he couldn't explain. how he had let her ride in the ambulence and said he'd meet her there but never did. That's what John Paul coulodn't get his head around, why had he never shown up? From what he had heard, Craig was worried sick about what was going to happen to him, he had rung an ambulence and stopped the bleeding, he had done everything he could to save John Paul, and then vanished? He had seen Jack, but not Craig. Maybe Craig had been too ashamed to come in himself and asked Jack to instead? But would Craig really do that? Then again Jack never really did like their relationship, he would have done anything to finish it once and for all. What if he had seen an opportunity to do just that?

His line of thought was broken by a nurse bustling into the room.

"Mr Mcqueen," She stated formally, yet kindly, "Your mother and sister's are in the waiting room, I would suggest you go see to them as soon as possible. They are causing quite a scene."

John Paul rolled his eyes, trust his family to make a scene in a hospital. He followed the nurse to the waiting room where he was greeted by a squabbling group of girls who were being furiously shushed by their mother. As they noticed the two new arrivals they immediatly stopped and grinned widely.

"Hiya Love," soothed Mercedes as she pulled her brother in for a hug.

"Ohh!" Squeled Carmel as she rushed towards her brother and sister, joining them in their hug. "Group hug everyone!"

The Mcqueen girls did as they were told and huddled around the only boy.

*
The Mcqueen clan strolled down the road proudly. Jacqui squeezed her brother's arm and smiled,

"I knew you'd be okay Love, you're a Mcqueen. You're a fighter."

John Paul smiled back briefly and carried on walking. He hated the fact his sister's had seen him like that. It was an embarressing little break down that he would be quite happy to keep to himself. It was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time, like shell suits. It seemed like the right thing, it seemed like the only option. But now John Paul realised that no matter how right it seemed, be it shell suits or slitting your wrists. When you look back on it, you will always look the idiot.

They reached the Dog and John Paul stopped. He stared at the building longingly. So many memories in such a short amount of time, and now they were all over. He needed to go in. Just to see the same scenes, just to smell the same smells, hear the same sounds.

"Mum," He called at the gaggle of girls who hadn't even noticed they'd lost a member of their party. Myra turned at looked at her youngest son. He was about to continue, but she already seemed to know what he was about to say.

"We'll see you at home Pet." she smiled.

John Paul smiled back gratefully and watched his family disapear into the distance until they were just dots, and eventually gone. He looked back at the pub and felt a little disconcerted. Was this really a good idea? There was only one way to find out, John Paul took a deep breath and stepped towards the Dog In The Pond.

awesome, more soon pls

Part Two

Part 44 Craig x

Craig watched the familiar walk uneasily through the doors of the dog. This place obviously held some very painful memories.

"Sarah!" Called Craig from behind the bar alerting his guest. She smiled at him sheepishly and walked towards the bar and sat awkwardly on the bar stool.

"Hi," She smiled. Craig had missed Sarah in the last few months, people seem to forgot how much he had loved Sarah. John Paul was most definately the love of his life; but he had cared so much for Sarah it was untrue. Hurting her was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. He was afraid that losing her would hurt, and he did; but that could not compare to the pain he was feeling now, without John Paul.

The pair sat in silence for about a minute. Neither knew what to say, it had been so long since they spoke. Everything seemed so trivial in compare to what they had been through. Eventually Sarah spoke up.

"I thought you would've gone to Dublin by now," She said chirpily then piped down immediatly, "I suppose you've stayed to be with John Paul?" She barely whispered.

Craig stared at his ex girlfriend. Was she being cruel; or did she really not know?

"You, you don't know?" He began, he could feel his throated choking up.

"Know what?" Sarah looked up suddenly, it was obvious what she was thinking. That he and John Paul had merely split up.

Craig shook his head in disbelief, did she really not know? Craig glanced around the pub. Happy, smiling faces. Not the best environment to break the news that John Paul had died. Craig gestured towards the stairs and started to make his way up, Sarah close on his heels.

Once upstairs Craig closed the door and leaned against it for a few seconds, he really wasn't in the right state of mind to be doing this. He turned and looked at Sarah.

"Craig? Are you okay? What's happened? Have you and John Paul split up?" Sarah bombarded Craig with questions.

"Not exactly," Craig managed to gasp, he could feel the tears sting his eyes threateningly once again. "He, um, he's." Craig rubbed the back of his head and looked at the floor dispairingly. Sarah placed a supportive hand on Craig's arm.

"He's what?" She enquired quietly. Craig looked at her, looked right into her big brown eyes; the eyes he had fallen in love with once before. He breathed slowly then whispered:

"He's dead Sarah." his voice was barely audiable, but Sarah had heard every letter. Craig broke down and fell to the floor in sobs. Sarah crouched down beside him.

"He's what?" Asked Sarah in disbelief.

"He slit his wrists," Began Craig, "Because of me." Craig began to sob once again. He turned and looked at Sarah, her face was blurred through his tears, but he could see the worry on her face. "If, if I had been a few minutes earlier, if I hadn't spent so much looking at those silly model planes, if I hadn't even gone. Then he would still be here. It's all my fault Sarah!" He cryed, and put his head in his hands. Sarah put a supportive arm around Craig's shoulder.

"Oh Craig, I'm so sorry. Things will be alright."

"No!" He shouted through his tears, "No they won't, John Paul's dead and I can't bring him back. No one can, not me, not you, not anyone. I loved him Sarah! He was the only one I ever really loved. He was my everything."

Sarah curled her arm back from Craig's shoulder. Noticing this Crig looked at her, and saw the hurt on her face. That last comment had meant almost as much to her as it had to him.

"You never loved me?" Sarah rose to her feet.

"Yes, yes Sarah I did. I loved you very much, you know that."

"Do I?" Sarah began to cry herself. "Well it seems I don't know much Craig. Because you just said you didn't"

"Craig fumbled his way to his feet. "I did love you Sarah, but what we had didn't compare to what John Paul and I had." Craig knew this was a stupid thing to say the moment he saw Sarah's reaction. She held her head high and strode towards the door.

"Thanks Craig, thanks alot." She murmered as she began down the stairs.

"Sarah wait!" Craig chased after Sarah. He didn't need this right now; he was grieving the love of his life, he didn't need Sarah taking him on a guilt trip. But Craig was a gentleman and he couldn't leave things with her like that. He followed her down the stairs and through the pub continously calling her name. Finally she stopped, outside the door of the Dog.

"What Craig? I think you've said enough don't you?"

"Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Of course I loved you. I will always love you Sarah."

It wasn't until now that the pair realised they weren't alone out there. Their attention turned to their right where they saw just who they were being acompaned by.

"John Paul..." Whispered Craig in amazement.

fab, yay craig knows that jp is ok, but oh dear, looks like jp might just take what he heard the wrong way

more soon pls

Yeah! I'm so glad Craig knows JP is fine! I hope they sort things out now!

bump

pls more soon

bump

next part up tomorrow guys

how will John Paul react?

i'll give you a hint



not well

yay more, but nooooooooooooooooooo jp cant be too upset, plsplspls let it all be ok, i dont think i can take any more jpc tragedy

i agree that the amount of JPC drama that's been happening on tv and now it's all over Well don't worry this fic isn't over yet!! far from it! aha!

brilliant - even after the happy resolution to the story - which i know WILL happen (not too soon tho) should not be the end of the story, far from it in fact, after that i want at least 100 chapters on jpc's happily ever after

please, thank you very much in advance lol

right i'm writing part 45 now, part 46 might be up tonight too if i'm not to tired

pls dont let jp be too angry, he's got to listen to craig - can't bear any more upset with jpc

great that there will be more of this fantastic fic soon

Can i just say a MASSIVE thank you to luvinlostandross for being one of the best & loyal fans i could ask for!!

Part 45 John Paul x

John Paul froze. That was why Craig hadn't come to see him. His body began to ache and his head started to pound. He couldn't hear for the thudding on his heart. Craig hadn't changed; he had seen that him and John Paul were in too deep and ran. Ran straight back to Sarah.

"John Paul?" Asked Sarah, more confused than amazed. She turned her head to face Craig, "You told me he was dead."

John Paul was hurt immensely by this last comment, then John Paul's hurt turned rapidly to anger. Craig had told people he was dead? That was sick! John Paul was wrong, Craig had not grown into a man over the last year. He was still the same pathetic little boy he was when he had met him.

"You said I was dead?" John Paul growled through gritted teeth. It was all he could do to not lash out and punch Craig. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

"John Paul," Craig whispered again, unable to say anything else.

"What? I'd like to see you worm your way out of this one Craig Dean!" John Paul shourted, this felt horrible. He had hoped that he would never have to shout at Craig like this ever again. Craig just stood there motionless; unbeknown to John Paul he was trying his very hardest to stay concious at the sight of the previously 'dead' John Paul.

"I'm going to go," Sarah began and turned to walk away.

"Yeah, maybe you should." John Paul snapped back.

"Hey," replied Sarah sharply, "You're not the only victim here. He told me you were dead!"

"So you thought you'd immediately run back to him? Do you know how pathetic that makes you look?"

Sarah stormed towards John Paul and pointed a stiff finger towards her former friend. "Now you look here, I was NOT running back to him. Craig told me you had killed youself. I thought you were dead! I was being supportive. Well I know not to make that mistake again don't I?"

"Just get lost you silly slapper." was John Paul's reply, he simply waved her off and turned around to go home.

"What did you just call me?" screamed a now very worked up Sarah. John Paul simply ignored her question and carried on walking. This angered Sarah even more and she grabbed John Paul's shoulder and swung him around. John Paul braced himself for the blow he was about to recieve and winced prematurely. To his suprise though Sarah never hit him, instead he felt her grip loosen. He opened his eyes and looked wearily at the suddenly pale girl who was glaring at his wrists. John Paul knew instantly what she was looking at and felt a rush of self conciesness and shame rush over him. He snatched his arm away and pulled his sleeves down. He stared at the floor in embarressment.

"I don't know what's going on between you two." Sarah said, calmer now as she stepped backwards. "But you need to sort it out before one of you gets seriously hurt." And with that she turned around and walked away. Leaving the boys alone. John Paul turned his attention to Craig who was still standing in the exact same position as he had been minutes before. They stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes. Neither spoke a word. John Paul looked down at the ground once again.

"John Paul," Craig barely whispered. John Paul looked into Craig's eyes once again and something clicked. There was a spark and John Paul could see the happiness in Craig's eyes. Craig flashed that winning smile and raced towards John Paul, he wrapped his arms around his neck and dug his head deep in between his neck and his shoulder. John Paul felt so relieved to finally be in the arms of Craig after what seemed like an eternity. John Paul held Craig tightly and the joy ran through their veins.

"I thought you were dead." Craig sighed, holding John Paul tightly. John Paul stiffened, their moment of elation had passed and Craig's lies had surfaced. John Paul pushed Craig away, he saw that same panicked look that Craig had pulled so many times before. He felt nothing, he love, no happiness, not even pity.

"Why did you lie Craig?"

more pls more

Glad you started writing again! Can't wait for JP to find out it was Jack that lied!

awww noo poor craig didnt lie it wasnt is fault! cant wait to see how its resolved! fab story hun! xxx

I'm writing part 46 now, I'm sorry for neglacting this story for TEN DAYS! I didn't realsie how long it had been with school, social stuff blahh blahhh

The soundtrack to this chapter is *NSYNC - I drive myself Crazy.


Part 46 Craig x

Craig began to panic. "What?! I didn't lie! I thought you were dead!"

Craig could see the anger return to John Paul's face, "How would you know exactly? You never even came to check on me. For all I knew you were in Dublin."

"No! I'd never leave without you; not unless I had to."

"Like if I was dead?"

Craig looked at the floor and shuffled his feet. He didn't want to fight with John Paul, he wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. So many times he had dreamt of his reconciliation with the love of his life but never had it played out like this.

"I would have come see you, if I knew. If I knew you were okay."

John Paul rolled his eyes, "How did you know I wasn't okay?" He shouted; then a look of sadness came over him and all the tension left his body, "You didn't even call."

Craig wanted to die, John Paul was genuinly hurt by something Craig hadn't even done. He realised nothing he said would convince John Paul that he really did think he was dead, but he couldn't stop trying. He had spent the last month in agony, tears at the slightest thought of John Paul, crying himself to sleep, nightmares, and now everything would be gone over a simple misunderstanding?

"Please John Paul, you don't understand. Jack told me you were dead." Craig pleaded, his eyes bore into John Paul's but he couldn't get a reaction. John Paul looked so, dissappointed.

"And you believed him? You didn't even come to see it for yourself?" John Paul replied sarcastically at what he obviously thought was an excuse Craig had made to cover for himself.

"You have to believe me John Paul! I was already a wreck, I was going to believe anything. Why would Jack lie to me?"

John Paul let out an disgusted laugh, "Yeah Craig, Jack wasn't lying. I did die, I just came back to make your life hell. Oh get a grip."

Craig became desperate, his arms hung loosely from his shoulders and he leaned towards John Paul. John Paul sighed heavily and pushed Craig away. Craig looked at the floor painfully

"I spent every single night for the last month laying in that hospital bed. Waiting, praying for you to come and see me. Just to feel your touch on me, to know you cared. And every single night for the last month you didn't. Do you have any idea how painful that was?"

Craig raised his head and looked John Paul straight in the eyes.

"Yes! yes I do, because I have been going through exactly the same thing. I love you so much John Paul. I thought you were dead! I thought you had killed yourself and it was all my fault." Craig looked back at the ground, that last statement had sounded so big headed and he knew that it wouldn't do anything for his position in the argument. Before John Paul could reply Craig started again.

"Don't let a misunderstanding be the reason for this John Paul, I love you so much and I know you love me to." Craig took hold of John Paul's hands, he remembered the last time he had touched his hands, they had been so cold, Craig had been so distraught at the thought that something could happen to John Paul. "I changed my whole life for you John Paul, I lost my girlfriend, my friends. I almost lost my family John Paul. But it was all worth it, every moment, every single second of grief was worth it, just to be able to call you mine."

Craig smiled in content at his speech, he had finally been able to make it clear how much John Paul meant to him, and John Paul had obviously seen the significance too because he gripped Craig's hands back. Suddenly John Paul loosened his grip and raised his head, Craig could see a tear in his eye.

"I love you too Craig, so much. And I really wish I could believe you. But I don't, and I can't be with you. If I don't trust you." A single tear strolled carelessly down John Paul's cheek.

"No," whispered Craig, and he he fell to his knees, not even noticing the striking pain that seared up his leg as bone smashed against concrete. He grabbed John Paul's hands again and looked up into his eyes, but he didn't see love. He saw pity.

"No! John Paul I love you, I would never lie to you!" he sobbed. John Paul gently pushed Craig's hands away. Craig immediately grabbed the waitline of John Paul's jeans and rested his forhead on John Paul's belt buckle.

"Please don't go, I love you so much. Please don't go, please don't go." his voice became lost in a sea of tears, people walking past were beginning to stare and Craig could feel their stares on him like a spotlight but he didn't care. He had waited so long to be with John Paul again and it was coming to an end so quickly.

"Craig, please don't make this hard." John Paul said quitely but firmly, staring straight ahead and paying no attention to the begging boy and his legs.

"No, I won't let you go. Not until you believe me. Not until you love me again!"

"Craig," John Paul looked down and lifted Craig's chin up with his forefinger. "I do love you, more than you can imagine. I just don't trust you though, if I could trust you then I would believe you. I want to believe you Craig but I don't."

Craig tried to speak but he found he couldn't, he opened his mouth but the words wouldn't come. He longed to tell John Paul he was wrong, that he could trust him; but he knew it wouldn't make a difference anyway. Instead he tightened his grip and cried even harder, he never wanted to let go but he knew what was about to happen. And of course it did. John Paul slowly eased Craig away from him and turned around, he paused momentarily and Craig was filled with hope that he may have changed his mind and had forgiven him. But John Paul simply walked away without looking back. Craig crouched there on hands and knees holding his arm out to John Paul. He cried and cried and called John Paul's name over and over again; until eventually John Paul was gone. Craig slumped back onto the wall and sat there, unable to cry, unable to talk, unable to move, unable to even breath. All his lying and cheating had set the foundations of John Paul's suspicions and now, it had all blown in the air. John Paul didn't trust Craig.