Absolutely amazing!
I hope she's just hiding in the bath or something
Please do more soon!
xx

Breaking News
Reporter on Hollyoaks News:

A 10 month baby girl has been found dead, apparently thought to have drowned in the river behind a local pub ' The Dog' and was left unsupervised by a babysitter whilst her mother was away. The babysitter in question is with the Police now, and the mother is believed to be distraught with grief.

Now, we're moving on to excessive amount of alcohol being consumed...

!
She's dead

OMG!!!
SHES DEAD!
!!
Poor Zoe!
Jess Shouldn't have left her!
Poor Mike!
OMG!
I'm getting slightly carried away
Breathe!
MORE PLEASE!

WHAT ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE'S NOT DEAD! SHE CAN'T BE!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Unless, it is a different child... :|

PLEASE BE A DIFFERENT CHILD!

xx

I'm afraid it is Jade

As a mother, it broke my heart to have to do this- but it has to be done if i want my fic to go where i want it, as I have some ideas...

The next day after Jade's death

" How could you?" demanded an inconsolable Zoe, her red eyes puffy from crying, hiccuping. " My baby! My beautiful baby!"

Jess was crying too with a combination of tremendous guilt and grief, " I'm so sorry, I really am, I only left her for a minute-"

" But you left her! What if it was Kingston? Eh, Jess? What would you have done?" roared Zoe angrily

Jess's heart stilled at the mention of her son. " Don't you dare bring my son into this!"

" It's okay for you, Jess because you still have Kris and your precious baby but what have I got? Nothing!" said Zoe, with so much grief.

" Zo-"

" My baby's gone! Jade! She was my baby. I love her so so much, she was my world. What have I got to live for?" Zoe sobbed, sitting in a foetal position as Zak comforted her, ashen-faced.

Jess cried, as she wiped her eyes. She couldn't believe that Jade was dead and it was all her fault. Only if she hadn't left her...

" I can't tell you how sorry I am, because I loved her almost as much as I love Kingston." said Jess.

" I don't care. My daughter's dead. I want to die."

" Zo-"began Jess

" No. Go! Leave me alone!" roared Zoe, pushing her.

Jess stumbled and nodded, she fled the room and went outside wrapped in grief.

Love This!
More Soon Please

OMG!
NOOOO!

This is so sad!
Please do more soon!
x

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

Never mind Zoe I'm practucally inconsolable

I need a tissue!

I've used them all up.

Believe me there won't be any more dry tissue's in my ENTIRE street!

I am not a happy bunny

More!

Please!

NOW!

Or I will get angry!

The Day of Jade's funeral

Jess and Zoe hadn't seen eachother since that day, and Zoe was full of grief and bitterness.
Kris had returned from Belfast with Kingston, and was shocked and upset to hear what had happened but he had it in his heart to forgive Jess because it was an terrible accident- Jess wasn't coping well.
She was pushing Kingston away because she felt too guilty to have him because of Jade.

" You can do this, Jess." said Kris, giving her Kingston, " Come on, he needs you, his Mummy."

" No," said Jess, staring out of the window, " No, I don't deserve him. Not after what I did to Zoe and Jade. No, he doesn't deserve a mummy like me."

" Jess-" began Kris, wearily. He was in his tuxedo, ready to go to the funeral. Zak was picking him up but he didn't want to take Kingston as it was inappropriate.

" No, Kris. Just take him!" said Jess, as tears fell down her cheeks as she thought of poor Jade terrified and drowning in the river..

Kris sighed and kissed Jess's cheek and left the flat.

" Okay, give me a ring if you need me, babe."

Jess continued to stare out of the window as rain splattered against it, matching her miserable mood.

At the Church

Father Kieron sighed desolately as he looked at the tiny pink coffin before him, with the words A sweet angel who was taken too soon

" We are standing here today to bury the most sweetest little girl known to mankind, Jade Megan Carpenter, aged 10 months. We cannot help asking or wondering why on earth God would want to take her, this precious angel of Zoe Carpenter and Michael Barnes, but we are consoled in the knowledge that He will look after her with such love and affection, as she so rightfully deserves. Let us take away the memories of Jade in her short time on this Earth and treasure them forever. What happened was a terrible accident, but we must find it in our hearts to forgive," said Kieron, looking at Zoe pointedly who looked away, down at the coffin, her eyes filling with tears. " So we say goodbye to this beautiful baby girl and rejoice that she is in God's company now, happy and safe."

Everybody stood up and sang a hymn from the bible.

Kieron looked at Zoe kindly, " Now, allow Zoe to say a tribute to her daughter," as Zoe made her way to the pew.

She read out a tribute:

Jade Megan Carpenter, my beautiful baby girl, when I first found out I was having you, I was so shocked but I already loved you. You were my hope and inspiration for the future. I loved every second of my pregnancy although I was probably a big pain in the backside moaning and whingeing all the time, but it was so worth it to have you. When they put you on my chest, it was the best feeling ever, having my baby with me. You were absolutely beautiful with big blue eyes like your daddy and lots of dark hair that would turn blond like mine. I fell in love with you immediately. I loved being your Mummy, and I would have died for you. I always thought I would have you forever. But you were never really mine, were you? Jade, when you went to sleep with the angels, I was so angry with you because you didn't take me with you, and I was so angry with you for leaving me, but now all I feel is nothing. Just nothing. Because your death has stripped me to the very core, and now I don't want to go on without you. But I have to. Because who's going to show the world what you were like? No, I'm going to live, for you, my angel. You always had such a beautiful sunny smile that brightened up my whole day, even if I had a bad day, and when I rocked you to sleep, you always curled my hair with your fingers, looking up at me with such love. Feeling your sweet breath on my neck as I put you on my shoulder when you were upset.God, I really loved those precious moments. I had you to myself for 10 wonderful, amazing months and I will always treasure that. Jade, sweetie, *she sobs*, I will always love and cherish you forever with all my heart, I'll never forget you, I'll miss you so so much. You may be with God, but you'll always be in my heart. With every ounce of all my love, your Mummy xxxxxxxx

" I'm now going to read out my favourite book, to Jade." she said.

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!

But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!

But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...

But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.


There wasn't a dry eye in the Church, as Zoe finished, with an air of finality as the coffin was put into the crematorium.

As she looked up, she saw Jess standing by the door, sobbing quietly as she watched Jade being cremated.

" Jess..." whispered Zoe, tears rolling down her eyes but Jess was already gone. How long had she been there for?

Amazing Rachel! Please do more soon!
xxx

!
Really Good Rachel!!
More Soon Please

Can I just ask...?
Isn't that book the one from friends?

Yeah it is, but I had that book as a little girl and I read it to my daughter a lot, it's her favourite book apart from So Much! She loves it!

Awwwww! Ok
I didn't know it was actually real. Lol! xx
More please.

As the congregation filed out of the Church, Zoe ran after Jess who was sitting by Joe and Olivia's gravestones...

"Jess," said Zoe, putting a hand out to her. " I- I just wanted to let you know I don't hate you. Life's too short. It was..an accident. Which should have never happened but it did and, you know, that's life. Please don't think I hate you."

Jess turned to face Zoe, tears running down her cheeks, her blue eyes dull with grief and brown hair blowing in the wind.

" But it was my fault! Zo, I took away your daughter's life, I don't deserve to live."

" Jess. It's gonna take me a while to deal with losing my daughter but I now realise this is something you'll have to live with the rest of your life and all I can say is please don't punish yourself. My daughter is gone and we all have to move on." Zoe's voice broke as she sobbed.

Jess, stricken, hugged Zoe tightly, " So you forgive me?"

Zoe nodded, her head on Jess's shoulder as she sobbed, " Yes, yes."

Kris came up to them with Kingston who was screaming, red in the face.

" Jess, he wants you, babe, he won't stop crying.Please take him, he needs you!" pleaded Kris, holding out Kingston.

" Jess?" asked Zoe, frowning.

Kris explained the whole situation to Zoe who sighed, looking at Jess sombrely.

" Jess," said Zoe, staring at her in the eyes, " You have a beautiful son, a wonderful husband. A family I never had. You have your son. Make the most of the time you have with Kingston because time flies by so quickly and you don't really understand just how much you love your child until they're out of your life....You need him just as much as he needs you. Like I say, life's too short. Take him."

And she walked away, tears stinging in her eyes as she looked back at Jess, who smiled with such relief and love as she held her happy baby boy, who was holding his Mummy's hand.

What she would give for Jade to do that...just one more time.

This is amazing!
So sad but amazing.
Please do more soon Rachel!
xx

!
Amazing!
More Soon Please

Weeks After Jade's Funeral...

Zoe had subconsciously avoided seeing Jess, it was too painful to face her properly since the day of her baby's funeral and she was just wallowing in self pity in her flat.

[ Kris, Jess & Kingston had moved out in their own flat]

" Zo," said Kris, quietly, holding Kingston on a hip.

Zoe turned to face Kris, and smiled. " Hi."

Kris stared at Zoe, taking her in. Her long lovely hair was tangled and greasy like she hadn't washed it in so long and her bright brown eyes were dull, as if she'd forgotten how to laugh.

" How are you doing?" he asked, concernedly.

Zoe just stared at Kingston. God, he was beautiful with big blue eyes like Kris and long brown hair and deep dimples.

Seeing and hearing Kingston gurgle happily as he reached out for Zoe made tears well up in her eyes.

" Fine...Could- Could I hold him?" she asked Kris, looking at Kingston.

" Of course, Zo. You are his godmother." said Kris, handing her Kingston.

Zoe's face lit up as she held her godson, playing with him, like a mother. It had been so long since Kris had seen Zo like this.

" Hello, sweetie!" grinned Zoe, her dimples showing, as she stroked Kingston's cheek and kissed his head. " You're a cutie-pie, yes you are!"

Kris smiled quietly as he watched Zoe and Kingston together. Maybe, maybe he was her cure. Maybe he could heal her.

" You know what Zo? Me and Jess need a break tonight, we could do with a night in together, you know...So you could look after Kingston if you want?"

Zoe smiled tightly, " Thanks, that would be nice."

Kris grinned, as he opened his bag, and pulled out nappies, toys, wipes and bottles and left them on the table next to the window.

" Great, thanks. We'll pick him up at about 11am tomorrow, yeah?"

Zoe grinned as she sat Kingston down on the sofa and started changing his nappy, just like she always did for Jade...

" Of course. We'll be fine!" She was besotted with Kingston when Kris left them.

Back at Kris & Jess's flat

" You DID what?" demanded Jess, surprised when Kris had told her he'd left Kingston with Zoe.

" Relax, princess. She was fine, happier than I've ever seen her in weeks. Maybe Kingston could help her.." soothed Kris, putting an arm around Jess.

" I hope so...." she doubted, feeling uneasy.

" I'm telling you, Jess, the old Zoe will be back in no time after a while with Kingston!"

I'm worried!
Zoe better not take revenge!
And better take care of kingston!
Please Please Please don't have 2 babies killed in your fic!
Love this!
More Soon please