Me again!

As most of you know, When I See You Next will be over at the end of the week. So i've been working on a new Kress fic, and since i've written up the first 8-9 parts I think I should post the first part to get opinions on it.

Will be up in a few minutes.

xXx

Kwl, I love your fics Gr8 title too

Before I post, a massive thankyou to Lianne for the title! Much appriecated hun.

Anyway here we go, tissues may be needed.


Jess's POV


I stare out of my apartment window into the dull street below. To be honest it wouldn't have mattered if today was Summer and everyone was out enjoying themselves, it would still be the worst day of the year for me. I hate when this day has to come around, but as soon as it's past I know I have to prepare myself for it to come round again. It's a cycle I can't get out of, no matter how much I want to.September 27th is the date that i'm never going to forget and it's been five years since my life fell apart. I've never been the same since, life has just been one big stuggle for me.

Closing the window shut, so I don't hear the constant noise of cars rushing past with their engines roaring I turn to make myself a coffee, when I see my best friend has already bet me to it.

"Thought you could do with one." She smiles gently handing me the coffee.
"Thanks, Zo."
"Are you ok?" She asks, then sighs. "Sorry, that was a really stupid question. Forget I asked."
"No it's ok, shows you care."
"Of course I do.You want me to come with you today?"
"Yeah, you come every year and I don't think I could go on my own."

For the first time today tears spill from my eyes, but knowing that today of all days I won't be able to hold them back I let them fall. With Zoe rushing over to comfort me. I seriously don't know what i'd do if she wasn't here living with me. She's been my rock and I wouldn't have got here if it wasn't for her.After ten minutes, I have a shower and get changed, preparing myself to go out and do this again. I wait for Zoe to get herself ready and that gives me a few minutes to look at a couple of photos. Of course this only makes me more emotional but it makes me remember and I need to remember.

"You ready?" Zoe asks, smiling weakly as I put the photo back.

I don't say a word, I just nod and link arms with hers as we leave our flat. The drive there is a silent one, I don't really have much to say. I suppose i'm saving it for later but every year is the same. I get up, drink coffee, get myself ready then leave. Once we've parked the car, I just sit there unable to move for a few moments.

"Do...you mind if I go on my own?" I whisper, my voice shattered by emotion.
"No of course not. I'll wait here, yeah?"
"Thanks."

Stepping out the car, I take one deep breath and force myself up the stoned path. The sound of my shoes clicking off the path suddenly gets to me, so by the time I get to him i'm an emotional wreck. Slowly I place down my flowers and kneel down so i'm level with the name engraved onto the stone, running my fingers across the outline of each letter I read the name back out to myself

"Francis Kristopher Fisher."

At first I was worried that this may be a Kris but now I'm thinking it's Olivia because that's about when she died
This is a fab start
So pleased to have another Kris fic on here lol xxx

Just read that bit and it is Kris

Sorry totally didn't see the francid kristopher fisher but I thought that was part of your sig lol... silly me

There could be a way around this. Maybe Jess had a child and named it Francis...! Please...
Beautifully written... even if you killed Kris in the first update...

omg.
i have tears in my eyes.
this is sooooo good
continue soon please

I think I'm just about able to reply now. I was seriously gutted when I read about Jess going to the grave, and I still am, but I know this fic will be amzing just like your others, so I'm going to live in hope (Lianne's influence) that there's going to be some happiness soon.

Fab Heather, even if you did make me cry twice in one night

ummmm ...........

Jess' POV


The time just seems to go so quickly as I sit here and before I know it i've been sitting for over an hour. I come here twice a week, but on this day it's just harder for me. I can't seem to cope anymore, it's too much of a struggle and i've not got energy to fight it.

"Jess..." Zoe whispers from behind me. "I was just coming to check..."

I don't say a word, I turn to her and she sees the tears running down my face. We quickly comfort each other as i've now started Zoe off.

"I'm sorry....I just can't...not anymore...i'm sorr-"
"Hey, come on. You don't need to be sorry Jess, not to me, not to anyone."
"It's getting too much for me, Zo." I sob, hugging her tightly. "I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have them back."
"I know you do, I do too but....well i'm going to help you through this.Come back to the flat, you're not ready for this..."

Reluctantly Zoe and I walk back to where we parked the car. It takes longer than it should do because I keep stopping to wipe my eyes, or sometimes I just stop for no reason at all.

Just as i'm about to enter the car, I see a small little boy walking ahead of the two people who have just entered the graveyard. The little boy, who looks to be aged between three and four, is holding a bunch of flowers with both hands. I stop and stare, a huge lump appearing in my throat.

"Jess, come on." Zoe whispers gently.

But as I go to leave, one person sticks out to me. I know him. I know by the way he walks, even if he's got his head down. My mouth goes dry as I was ready to call out his name, just to be certain that it's him. When I see that he'd heading in the direction i've just came from I then know for certain it's him. The young woman and small child leave him to it and sit at a nearby bench.In the meantime I turn to Zoe, who seems just as shocked as I am.

"That's him isn't it?" I ask, still sounding unsure.
"I think so."
"I need to see him." I say quickly starting to walk off in his direction.
"Maybe that's not such a good idea." Zoe adds, gently pulling me back. "It's been too long..."
"All the more reason for me to see him, especially today."
"Jess..." She pauses so I turn to her. "Give him a few minutes eh?"
"Yeah...yeah, you're right."

We both climb into the car and sit there in silence. I watch him closely, and watch the other two people who he's with. Who are they? His new family? His girlfriend and child? So many questions i'm asking myself and I don't have any answers. After a long half hour, I notice them walking back together. So before Zoe can stop me, I rush out the car and go straight over to him. He's been crying, I can tell by how red his eyes are.

When we both finally lay eyes upon on another, it's mixed feelings. I'm happy he's here, but angry he's not called and asked how I am. I suppose i'm hardly in the posistion to feel this way, as I didn't make the effort either. Looking at him for what seems like forever, I finally muster some strength in me just to say out his name.

"Kris."

quote:

Originally posted by roccokrisfisher:
I'm confused?? Am I missing something? Who's dead? *stratches head*

im confused too
this is excellent
continue soon

omg......talk about emotional....

I must say there were a few times there where I got confused LOL but I understand now

I'm totally blown away Hez, seriously...truly amazing...extremely sad and heart wrenching and had me in tears before finishing the first paragraph but amazing all the same...

Look forward to the next part, cannot wait to find out what Kris has to say...

xxxxxxxxxx

quote:

Originally posted by Pink_Glitter:
omg......talk about emotional....

I must say there were a few times there where I got confused LOL but I understand now

I'm totally blown away Hez, seriously...truly amazing...extremely sad and heart wrenching and had me in tears before finishing the first paragraph but amazing all the same...

Look forward to the next part, cannot wait to find out what Kris has to say...

xxxxxxxxxx

Same here

really good.
a tad confused?
can any1 explain?

Fab as always

Hmmm, *scratches head*
I'm confused too. But I find the mystery interesting.
You should explain soon though! Like, right now.
xoxox

im confused ..this is still fab though x

Ohh sorry that everyone is a tad confused lol. All is revealed in the next part, which is up tomorrow xxx

Can't wait xxx

I think I understand, really good.
Can't wait to read more.

Kris' POV

Seeing her again just brings everything back, like today wasn't going to do that enough already. For the last five years i've came here on this day and managed to avoid her, but today we bump into each other. I can't seem to move as she whispers my name, all I manage to do his whisper hers back to her and before I know it she's ran the short distance between us and ended up in my arms. As soon as i'm holding her and she's crying into me, that's when I get set off again.

We pull apart and walk away from everyone else. I need to speak to her alone.

"I didn't think you'd come today, you know?" She says as we take a seat.
"Ofcourse I was coming. I do every year.."
"Well why haven't you..."
"I was scared. We'd ended badly and I didn't want any hard feelings, Jess."

After our baby boy passed away, we were both a complete wreck. We couldn't cope and no matter how much we tried to be there for each other, it wouldn't work. I stuck it out for a year, but after that we both had enough and I left. I felt I had to as it was getting to the stage where we were hating each other. I never wanted that, so we agreed that i'd be the one to go. It took me a while to come round to the idea that Jess was having my baby, but when I did it was the best feeling in the world. Having someone as little as that, knowing he's yours. But just as we were getting used to the idea, everything went terribly wrong. The doctors done everything they could, but it wasn't good enough and he was gone.

For three weeks straight Jess just closed down and shut everyone out, even me. I couldn't understand why she didn't realise that I was hurting too, just like her. Why couldn't she let me in? We could have been there for each other but she didn't want my help. I moved back to Belfast when I knew it would no longer work between us. It broke my heart, of course it did, but at the time it felt the right thing to do. I needed time away from Jess, but the more time grew the more I thought about her. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about how she was. I didn't have the guts the call her, she told me she didn't want to see me again and I believed that. If I called and she told me to get lost, I would have fell apart even more then I already had.

"How have you been?" She asks, pulling away from me.
"I'm getting there, it's hard you know? I can't stop thinking about him or you."
"Me too. So how old is your little boy?"

She seems hurt and I realise she thinks i've moved on with the girl and little boy I came with. She's got it wrong, so wrong. She's nothing more than an old friend of mine, and that is her little boy. They live with me in Belfast now. To be honest having Hannah around really helped, she's been my shoulder to cry on even if I know that should have been Jess.

"Oh, he's not mine...you've got it wrong.."
"Ohh..."
"She's a friend of mine, and that's Liam her little boy." I inform her. "You didn't think I would move on did you?"
"I don't know." She sobs. "It's been so long since we last spoke and I said some really bad things..."
"It's ok."
"No, how can you say that? It's not ok, and it's never going to be!"
"Jess, please don't get yourself more upset. I didn't mean it like that..."
"But how can you say that it's going to be ok? When I had our baby I said to you it would be ok and look at us now!"
"What happened wasn't your fault." I say softly, starting to cry again. "It was no ones fault..."
"But I lied Kris! I promised you it would be ok and it wasn't...was it?"

Seeing her like this just breaks my heart. I never knew she'd be as bad as this five years on. She's just the same Jess that I left and it's clear to me that she's really struggled to overcome this. I'm starting to wish I never went as far as Belfast. I should have stayed nearby so I could keep an eye on her. Instead I ran for miles, just to get away from it all. I walk over a few steps and gently place my hand on her shoulder, but as soon as I make contact with her she flees from me. Claiming she needs to get away from all this. I don't follow right away, I stand back and watch as my old friend Zoe helps her into the car. They then drive off leaving me stood there in the rain.