Hey Guys, I had this idea in my head and start ted writing it, as a craig in dublin fic, but as it's been announced he's coming back I thought I'd turn it into an SE fic, the way I'd like to see it done.
so I hope you like it
Part 1
Craig awoke to the sound of his alarm, a familiar throbbing in his head, the latest in a long line of strangers in his bed. It had been eight months since he had said goodbye to his old life in Hollyoaks, eight months since his life had changed forever, eight months since he had watched the first person he had ever loved with all of his heart walk away.
The first three months of his time in Dublin had been spent wallowing in an endless cycle of misery and self-pity, until finally his friend, Erin, had had enough of seeing him like that, and with much persuasion, she convinced him to get in touch with the cause of his heartache, even suggesting a text, if he didn’t want to call. So Christmas day, he had taken the plunge and sent the message, it was short and simple, but he thought it said what he needed to. He waited weeks for a reply, but none came. So by mid January, he was sure that John Paul had moved on, forgotten him. Now all he had to do was do the same. Simple. But as much as he tried, he couldn’t forget, except in the brief moments when, having been dragged out somewhere with friends, he would let himself go, forgetting everything, even who he was. Just for a second, but for that second, it didn’t hurt anymore. So nights out became more frequent, the combination of loud music and alcohol the only thing that seemed able to drown out the thoughts in his head, the memories of happier times, the feelings of worthlessness and self doubt. A few of his friends had said that perhaps he needed to find somebody new, someone who could love him for who he is, and who he could love. But he couldn’t find that person, no one came close to filling the void in his heart left by the blonde haired, blue-eyed boy that had captured his heart so forcefully. But the need to feel wanted far out weighed the voice in his head that told him to look for something real, so his nights were now consumed with partying, and meaningless encounters with anyone who showed him affection.
Rubbing his stinging eyes, Craig chanced a look at last nights conquest, sprawled out naked across the bed beside him. Their long auburn hair flowing down their bare shoulders, as they lay, sleeping on their stomach. Craig ‘s eyes drifted past the shoulders, tracing the outline of the sleeping figure, the slight narrowing of the waist, the roundness of the hips. As he watched them, they began to stir, and suddenly Craig panicked. What was her name again? Deciding he didn’t care to find out, he quickly jumped out of the bed and made a beeline for the bathroom, taking whatever clothes he could get hold of with him. Not wanting to still be there when his overnight guest woke up, Craig decided against a shower and quickly washed himself at the sink before throwing on the clothes he had grabbed and running out the door. As he reached the end of his road, there stood Erin, coffee in hand, waiting for him. This had become routine to them both.
“So, what was this one called?” She asked as she passed him his drink.
“I dunno.” He shrugged as the two of them started walking towards the university.
“Boy or girl?” was her next question.
“Girl.” He replied, “At least I think she was.”
“You know this isn’t healthy, right?” She said to him, “Not to mention it isn’t safe!”
“Erin, please.” He said looking at his watch, “It’s half ten in the morning, I have a hangover. Can we drop the concerned parent act?”
“It’s not an act, Craig! I’m worried about you!” She said.
“Well don’t be!” He responded defiantly, “I’m fine!”
“You’re clearly not fine!” She said, “Jesus, look at the state of you Craig. Your skin is all pale and clammy, you’re always either drunk or hungover, and in the last five months you’ve had more one night stands than the entire crew of the British navy could fit into a three day weekend!”
“I don’t have the energy for this!” Craig said, turning away from her, “I’ll see you later.”
“Craig!” She called after him, but it was too late.
He ran across the road and off down the street before she could stop him. And she knew exactly where he was headed. Where he always went these days when things got too much for him. The first open bar he could find.
Call me Yasmin or Yazzle Dazzle! Forum Buddies: Maddii, Nikki. Lorna, Alex, Louise, Annie, Caitlin, Sarah. Rach, Tori, Jade, Kirsty, Gaby, Linoo Do you love me are you playing your love games with me.
thanks for your comments everybody, I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Here's the next part for you
Part 2
Craig sat on his barstool staring into his drink. He didn’t look up when he noticed someone sit on the stool beside him; he simply shuffled his seat away slightly before downing the remaining liquid in his glass. Pushing his glass across the bar, he called out to the barman, who was stood at the other end of the bar, switching his attention between his newspaper and the girl trying to talk to him.
The bar tender begrudgingly trudged over to Craig, picking up the glass and replacing its contents before handing it back to Craig. But as Craig reached into his pocket for his wallet, the person beside him finally spoke.
“I’ll get that!” came the woman’s voice, “And I’ll have whatever he’s having.”
The barman quickly poured another drink and took her payment before heading back to the other end of the bar, where both his paper and his companion were waiting.
“What are you doing here, Erin?” Craig hissed, not even looking up.
“What’s it look like?” She replied casually, “I’m having a quiet drink with a friend!”
“If this is some kind of twisted attempt to save me from myself, then I’m not in the mood!” he grumbled, “Try back some other time!”
“Hey, I’m just here for the booze and the company!” Erin replied before lifting her drink, “Down the hatch!”
Swallowing the clear liquid, Erin immediately began to cough as it sent a burning sensation down her throat and deep into her chest.
“Jesus Craig, what the hell is this stuff?” She cried as she tried to calm her breathing, “Paint thinner?”
“Tequila!” Craig replied calmly.
“Urgh, it’s absolutely vile!” she winced, “Why would anyone want to drink something so disgusting?”
“I like it!” he shrugged before downing his own drink, taking in a deep breath as he swallowed, “Alcohol to drown your sorrows, then the burning feeling to remind you you’re not dead yet! What more could you want?”
“You know, that was almost poetic!” Erin said, patting him on his shoulder for emphasis, “If it wasn’t so sad, that is!”
“Why are you even here?” Craig sighed, “I mean, ten minutes ago you were giving me a lecture on the dangers of what I’m doing to myself, and now, what? You’ve decided it looks like fun after all?”
“Well Craig, you see, the thing is, it’s like me nana always said.” She grinned, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Now, how’s about another drink? Only perhaps this time I’ll choose my own poison!”
She motioned over to the bartender, who once again left his friend and his paper, rolling his eyes and sighing as though this were some great inconvenience. Stopping in front of Erin and Craig, he didn’t say anything, just raised his eyebrows expectantly.
“Right, I’ll have two bottles of lager, with lime wedges please, and Craig, what’ll you have?” she smiled.
“Erm, I’ll get a pint please.” Craig said looking a little confused.
“Make that two!” She said as the barman headed off to get their order, “Well, if we order double it’s longer before we have to bother him again! And we can go sit somewhere and chat!”
“Whatever!” Craig sighed.
Once they had their drinks, Erin marched them over to a little booth situated on the opposite side of the pub. Sat across from Craig, she was able to get a much better read on him, and taking advantage of this, she decided now was the time to find out what was going on inside that head of his.
“Right, so come on. Out with it!” she said.
“Out with what?” Craig sighed.
“What ever it is that’s got you so down.” she said, “Although, I’m pretty sure I could guess.”
“I’m not down, I’m fine!” Craig lied, “Nothing wrong with me. I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“Come off it, Craig!” She said, “There’s clearly something up, this past few days you’ve been going at it worse than usual, and I reckon I know why. Let’s see if I’m right shall we? Starts with John and ends with Paul? Am I close?”
“You’ve lost me!” Craig said defiantly.
“Craig, I’m not stupid, ok!” She cried, “This past few days, you’ve been drinking more, you’re not even bothering to turn up to lectures anymore, and every morning this week you’ve dashed out your door like you had a rocket up you backside, just to avoid last night’s encounter. Craig, I’m worried about you, and I know that somehow, this is all connected to him! So, what’s happened? Has he called you?”
“No, it’s nothing like that!” Craig said, "It’s just…”
“It’s just?” she said, leaning over to him and stroking his arm, “You can tell me, whatever it is.”
“It’s gonna seem stupid to you, but…” Craig took a deep breath, all his heavy drinking had been to avoid this memory, and here he was about to pour his heart out about it, “It’s just that, today would have been our anniversary, ok. It was one year ago today that I first told him how I felt, and we first, you know…”
“Oh Craig.” Erin said sympathetically, “I didn’t know. Why did you not tell me, instead of trying to drink yourself into oblivion?”
“Because…” Craig began, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were fighting to escape, “Oblivion doesn’t hurt as much as remembering what I thought we had!”
Erin got up and sat beside Craig, scooping him into her arms. She held him tightly as he began to quietly sob into her shoulder. She gently rubbed his hair, as she tried to console him. Seeing him like this was heartbreaking, but Erin knew he had to deal with these feelings, before they destroyed him. And even if it took all her might, she was determined that she was going get him through this.
Call me Yasmin or Yazzle Dazzle! Forum Buddies: Maddii, Nikki. Lorna, Alex, Louise, Annie, Caitlin, Sarah. Rach, Tori, Jade, Kirsty, Gaby, Linoo Do you love me are you playing your love games with me.
'I wrote you. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year. It's not over, it still isn't over.' Maddii, Lorno, Nikki, Yasmin, Annie, Kirsty, Georgia, Caitlin
Coming in from the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn, Erin settled on to the sofa beside Craig. After seeing him so upset earlier she had decided that the two of them needed a night in. Craig hadn’t been entirely enamoured with the idea at first, although that was probably because Erin insisted on calling it a girls night in, despite his protests that he was, in fact, a boy. Erin had chosen the films for the evening, and Craig was expecting a torrent of sentimental weepy chick-flicks, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that Erin had actually chosen mostly comedies, perhaps sensing slushy love stories were the last thing Craig wanted to spend hours watching. As she pressed play on the remote and the opening credits to Blades Of Glory started, the two of them settled back, the bowl of popcorn between them, each with a bottle of lager beside them, ready to laugh their cares away.
--------
“Oh my god, I love that film!” Erin said as the titles rolled.
“Yeah, it was good.” Craig smiled.
“I know it’s a bit wrong, but I kind of fancied Will Ferrell’s character.” Erin admitted with a laugh.
“Eww!” Craig cried, “Do you need your eyes testing or something?”
“No, nothing like that.” Erin protested, “I didn’t think he was hot, it was something about the character. I dunno, I just, I liked him is all. You know, kinda the bad boy comes good, kinda thing I guess.”
“He was a self obsessed, arrogant, vain egomaniac, who’s jokes were only funny coz they were so pathetic you were laughing at him, not with him. Not to mention his taste in clothes! I swear, for someone so obsessed with their appearance it’s surprising how off the mark he was!” Craig said, then his expression changed to one of realisation as he tried to stifle a laugh, “Oh my god!”
“What?” Erin asked warily.
“If you like blokes like that then you have so got to meet Darren! He’ll be right up your street!” Craig laughed.
“Oi!” Erin cried, hitting him with a cushion, “Less of your cheek. Now get your arse up and change the film!”
“What do you wanna watch next?” Craig asked as he made his way over to the DVD player and the pile of discs in front of it.
“Anything I’m not fussed.” She replied.
Craig put in a new disc and returned to his seat and, as Erin sat back to watch the film, her eyes fixed on the screen, a small smile escaped his lips. For as long as he and Erin had been friends, it had always amused him that she could become so transfixed by movies she’d already seen hundreds of times. Seeing how engrossed she was in the antics unfolding on screen, Craig’s smile morphed into a mischievous grin. Reaching across, he took a huge handful of popcorn from the bowl, keeping his eyes on the TV. Placing a piece in his mouth, he took a sly sideways look at his friend, making sure her attention was still firmly on the film. Waiting for the perfect moment, Craig took a single kernel in his hand, unable to resist the temptation, and he threw it across the sofa, giggling to himself as it landed unnoticed in Erin’s hair. Throwing another piece, this time he was on target as it hit her cheek.
“Stop it!” She said, not taking her eyes off the TV.
“Stop what?” Craig said, feigning innocence, before throwing more popcorn in her direction.
“Right, that’s it!” Erin cried, turning to face Craig, “You asked for it, Dean!”
Jumping to her feet, Erin grabbed the bowl of popcorn and darted across the room, before launching a handful of the snack back at Craig, the two of them quickly becoming engaged in an out and out food fight. The living room carpet was soon thick with pieces of popcorn, crushed and ground deep into the fibres under their feet as they dashed around the room trying to dodge each other’s aim. It wasn’t long before Craig’s supply of popcorn ammunition was depleted, so, thinking on his feet, he picked up his beer bottle and quickly grabbed Erin, causing her to drop the bowl. Holding her tight around the waist with one arm, Craig positioned his drink above her head, angled and ready to pour, as she squirmed to get free.
“Ha!” He cried, “I’ve got you now! Say your prayers Murphy!”
“No, please Craig.” She begged between laughs, “Please, no don’t!
Erin was practically screaming as she struggled to escape his grip, but she was too late. Craig let the neck of the bottle drop, allowing the cool liquid inside to cascade down upon her. Erin let out a cry as the cold lager ran down her back. Looking to the floor, she shook her head vigorously, the excess liquid spraying off in all directions. Turning her body slightly towards Craig, she hit him playfully on the chest.
“Craig Dean, I could just kill you!” She said, as the two of them laughed hysterically.
As she looked up they were both still laughing, but as their eyes met, their laughter softened into timid giggles, and the pair became locked in an intense stare.
“Probably!” he agreed, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face, and tucking it behind her ear. The tension was palpable, as they stared into each other’s eyes, edging closer together ever so slightly. Craig’s hand was still against Erin’s cheek, his fingertips tracing slowly along her jaw. She swallowed hard as Craig tilted his head towards her, her heart beating through her chest. Just as she began to close her eyes they were snapped out of the moment by the sounds of Mika’s Lollipop, as Erin’s phone began to ring. Quickly diving for her bag, Erin was actually glad of the intrusion, knowing that it had prevented something that would only lead to complications. She ducked out of the room to answer her phone. On her return she found Craig clearing up, and set about helping him to pick up the food all over the floor, neither seeming to want to talk about what almost happened.
What's craig doing almost kissing her!?!?! What about JP?
Sophie x
-xx-Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering-xx-
-xx-Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail-xx-
at this point in the story Craig is convinced that John Paul doesn't want to know him.
and let's not for get that this is set on the anniversary, and what John Paul was doing at that point was slightly worse than almost kissing someone, don't you think???
dotty, my wifey, i pledge to read this tomorrow night and shall leave an official review then
I ♥ movies & getting caught in the rain, just hold back on the pina colada There's nothing more sexy than a time travelling glasses wearing time lord lol
There's nothing that can't be solved with a little rock salt, a gun and Sam & Dean, oh yeah! Fanatical about Torchwood & Jack/Ianto-because stopwatches can be VERY fun!
Originally posted by dotty_cow: thanks for reading....
at this point in the story Craig is convinced that John Paul doesn't want to know him.
and let's not for get that this is set on the anniversary, and what John Paul was doing at that point was slightly worse than almost kissing someone, don't you think???
Ok... lol! Is it very obvious that i want a McDean SE? Hehe!
Sophie x
-xx-Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering-xx-
-xx-Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail-xx-
Originally posted by dotty_cow: thanks for reading....
at this point in the story Craig is convinced that John Paul doesn't want to know him.
and let's not for get that this is set on the anniversary, and what John Paul was doing at that point was slightly worse than almost kissing someone, don't you think???
Ok... lol! Is it very obvious that i want a McDean SE? Hehe!
this will be SE.... not sure how yet, but it will be!!!!
Originally posted by dotty_cow: thanks for reading....
at this point in the story Craig is convinced that John Paul doesn't want to know him.
and let's not for get that this is set on the anniversary, and what John Paul was doing at that point was slightly worse than almost kissing someone, don't you think???
Ok... lol! Is it very obvious that i want a McDean SE? Hehe!
this will be SE.... not sure how yet, but it will be!!!!
Yay! I wait in anticipation for the next part!
Sophie x
-xx-Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering-xx-
-xx-Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail-xx-
, it happened.
![Picture of Alex {[They Call Me Idiot]}](http://community.channel4.com/groupee_common/platform_images/avatars/set3/23.gif "Picture of Alex {[They Call Me Idiot]}")
lol