Aw, thanks Geordie!
PART 8
Evie walked into the living room of the flat and looked nervously around. The room was cluttered by various members of Craig’s family, all in the best black attire. Standing amongst them, she felt like a bit of a con artist; here they all were, united by their grief for a man who they all shared in their lives whereas Evie had never ever met Jack; in fact, she had only ever spoken to him on the phone a few a times before. So here she was, felling like a bit of an imposter. All she had to be sad about was the situation that Craig and the rest of his family were in; she couldn’t actually mourn for the man she didn’t know.
She shifted uncomfortably as she noticed that everyone around her was preoccupied; whether it be with fixing ties or speaking kind words comfort to each other; with Craig outside, she didn’t really have a role.
Her un-comfort was finally relieved when one of Craig’s sisters, Steph, made her way over to her with a warm smile.
‘Eve, hey, you okay?’ she asked her once she had reached her side.
Evie felt almost guilty as soon as her company had been filled, ‘Oh god, I’m fine, never mind about me; how are you?’
‘I’m okay,’ Steph nodded, and smiled, ‘It’s been a long week but I think it’s helped with how I’m feeling today, you know, I don’t feel so…well, as devastated as before, which is good, because mum’s going to need all the support she can get.’
Evie nodded in understanding at Steph’s statement; she could understand that there’s only so much crying a person can do. Then this thought led her on to something, it led her to her own thoughts about her fiancé’s grief and his lack of expressing it.
‘Steph…’ she began, ‘About Craig…?’
‘Yeah?’ Steph replied, but then interrupted her future sister-in-law’s question with a question of her own, ‘Actually, where is he?’
Forgetting her own curiosity for the moment, Evie quickly replied.
‘He’s outside having a smoke,’ she told her, which was met by a surprised look from his sister.
‘A smoke?’ she pushed, ‘Craig doesn’t smoke.’
Evie sighed heavily, showing that she too wasn’t all that thrilled about it, ‘I’ve been trying to get him to quit all this time we’ve been together,’ she informed her, ‘And he so nearly had until, well until the stress of all this got to him.’
‘I understand,’ Steph smiled shyly.
Unable to allow her curiosity to be sidetracked, Evie started her original question again.
‘Steph,’ she once again began, ‘Could you tell me something about Craig?’
Steph nervously nodded, prompting the Irish girl to continue.
‘Has he ever…I mean…does he ever show his emotions much?’ she hesitantly asked.
Relieved that her brother’s fiancé’s question wasn’t THE question, which she had been on strictest orders from her mother to never answer, Steph smiled.
‘He’s a bloke, isn’t he? When are they ever forthcoming with their emotions?’ she laughed slightly in answering.
‘Yeah I know,’ Evie continued, ‘but does he ever cry?’
Steph furrowed her brow and pursed her lips as she thought this over.
‘Well…I can’t say I’ve noticed much over the last few years, you know what with him being in Dublin and all that,’ she replied and then chuckled, ‘Although he was always the kind of kid who would seriously bang his head and think nothing of it but would scream if he slightly scratched his knee,’ then the smile disappeared from her face, ‘Why do you ask?’
‘It’s just…’ Evie sighed in frustration; should she be confiding this to his sister?
‘It’s just that he hasn’t cried once since he found out about Jack and I’m a bit worried.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah and every time I ask him about it he acts all touché and tells me to leave him alone. I’m worried that he’s bottling his feelings up and then he’ll…’ she stopped dead as soon as she realized what she was about to say.
‘Go mental like mum did?’ Steph guessed, with a look of understanding on her face.
‘Evie,’ she started, rubbing her arm in a gesture of reassurance, ‘I’m sure he’s dealing with it in the way he knows best. Plus, if he’s started smoking more, like you said, well maybe that’s his way of dealing with it? I’m sure he’ll cry when and if he’s ready, maybe he just needs this funeral to help him?’
‘Yeah…maybe,’ Evie tried to reason, but she still wasn’t quite convinced.
*
Craig brought the lighter towards his face and lit his second cigarette in a row. He needed his strength and nerve today and there was something in these cigarettes that provided that. Taking a long draw and allowing for the smoke to fill his lungs, he looked up towards the sky and squinted his eyes. It seemed as if the weather had picked up for today; it was much like the day he had arrived, only a bit chillier, plus there was more foliage littering the ground, making the path to the pub look like it was carpeted by a warm brown layer of leaves.
Exhaling, he delighted in the feeling that the nicotine gave him; how could something so wrong, feel so right, he wondered.
Today was going to be hard, he told himself, not that he didn’t already know it. It was going to be emotional, heart breaking and tough. He could feel his body tense up at the thought of his mother’s inevitable breakdown at the funeral. This wasn’t fair on her, none of it was. She didn’t deserve all of this pain for missing the person she loved so much. She didn’t deserve to be left with this gaping hole in her life.
He wondered if they knew this; the boys who had shot Jack. He wondered if which ever one it was, knew exactly what he as doing. Did he realize that not only was he killing Jack, but was effectively doing the same to his wife as well? No, Craig doubted any real thought went into the boy’s actions. As the police said, it seemed as if the boys only intended to rob the place and that the shooting was more of an accident.
Accident, Craig thought skeptically to himself. If they were merely robbing the place, then what was the need to such a dangerous weapon, why not use something else? They could have just as easily of done the job with a baseball bat, but the boys had opted for purchasing something they knew was illegal and was a lot more terrifying. Images f Jack, stood all alone in the bar as he was confronted by the three intruders flashed through his mind and pained his chest; he must have been so scared. So why then, why had the shot been fired if there was no intention for such violence? Was Jack resisting them, was he standing in the way of the tills? No, he knew Jack wasn’t stupid enough to do that, he was in the police once after all and knew the fatalities that could occur due to such heroics. Still, it had happened. The police reckoned that Jack had only acted against them when one of them made for the door that led to the flat; that Jack had gone after him to stop him from encountering his wife and son upstairs. Apparently this was what the video footage from the CCTV could show, although the angle of the camera didn’t permit a full understanding of the situation.
So that was it; Jack Osbourne was a hero after all. He may have been able to tolerate a blow to his business, but wouldn’t allow one to be made to his family. How little he knew that his attempt to prevent this would have caused one anyway, what with his death.
‘There you are,’ came a voice which startled Craig from his thoughts, ‘Found you.’
Seeing that it was his mum, he panicked by hiding the cigarette behind his back and wafted the air.
‘You’re too late for that,’ she chuckled, ‘I spied you from the window upstairs.’
‘Oh,’ said a rather foolish feeling Craig and brought the cigarette back round from his back.
‘Give us it here,’ Frankie instructed him.
Craig knew she’d do this if she ever caught him. He felt as if he was a naughty school boy handing over the swift ciggie that he had tried to have so to watch it being put out in front of him.
He handed the cigarette over to his mother and sighed, fair’s fair he supposed. But then he was astonished to see that instead of distinguishing the lit roll of tobacco, his mother placed it to her own lips and inhaled on it.
‘Mum!’ he exclaimed in shock, ‘What are you doing?’
‘I’ve not had one of these in twenty-five years,’ she said, exhaling and sounding as if she had enjoyed her intake of the poison smoke.
‘Hang on, you used to smoke?’ Craig suspiciously asked her.
‘Yeah,’ she nodded, ‘Like a chimney. I quit before you were born. Why’d you think you were the only smart one out of the four of you?’
Craig’s shock subsided and he let out a little laugh.
‘Anyway,’ Frankie continued, ‘I think I’m allowed a relapse on the day of my husband’s funeral, don’t you?’
Craig nodded. He understood completely and made no judgment, he had had Evie on his back about his smoking habits ever since they met. Now it seemed that he had found someone who enjoyed it as much in the unlikely shape of his mother.
‘So, how are you today?’ he asked as he watched his mother take her second draw from their secret cigarette.
‘I’m okay so far,’ she finally answered once she was satisfied that she had extracted as much smoke as she possibly could, ‘But I doubt it’ll last for long?’
‘Yeah? Do you think it’s going to get any easier?’ Craig pushed.
Frankie looked at him in the eyes briefly and then stared down on to the ground.
‘To be honest, no,’ she replied shaking her head, ‘But I suppose it wouldn’t, would it? Losing the love of your life?
Craig hung his head low on hearing this and it wasn’t just the fact that he felt sad for his mother’s heartache, the statement wasn’t only true for her.
*
*An hour later*
John Paul walked up the path of the cemetery as fast as he could; he was late and he knew it. He had only decided in the last hour to come along; a decision he had been wrestling with ever since he got the phone call, it was a lucky thing that today happened to be his day off. So that accounted for his lateness and for the fact that he was here alone. The last thing Stephen knew about the funeral was that John Paul had decided to give it a miss and that was when he had left for work this morning. He had phoned Hannah to try and get her to come along, but she had a hospital check up that she couldn’t cancel, but on the upside, she had promised to meet him later on after it.
Even through all of his deliberating, he knew deep down what his choice would be, it was just a matter of finding the courage to actually come. How could he not? Like he had said in the letter; Jack was a great man and deserved respects to be paid to him.
He jogged a little as he saw the church come into view; there was nothing worse than a funeral being disturbed by a late comer, he kept telling himself. His panic was relieved, however, when he approached the church closer; there was still some stray people entering it. Sighing in relief, he made his way through the door and entered.
It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the softer light of the church inside, but once they did, he could see that there was a huge turnout for the service. As he looked around, he realized that the majority of the people here were people that he didn’t recognize, save for a few clusters of familiar faces, like the Barnes family. He looked around for the family that mattered the most; the Dean/Osbournes and was relieved when he saw that he didn’t have to go far in order to reach them. There was Frankie, mere metres away, greeting everyone who walked through the door.
‘Hello Mrs Osbourne,’ he said as it was his turn to be greeted.
He watched as Frankie’s eyes lit up in surprise to see him stood there in front of her.
‘John Paul!’ she exclaimed, ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked as she hugged him warmly.
He began to feel a little uncomfortable, clearly Craig hadn’t told her that he had been invited.
‘Oh well,’ he stuttered nervously, ‘Craig invited me…and you know, to pay my respects.’
‘Oh,’ Frankie nodded, with a face that showed that she was connecting the dots, ‘Erm…well he’s over there,’ she said pointing over to where her son stood.
John Paul quickly looked over. There he was, Craig Dean. He felt weird about seeing him again, he looked so much different yet still so much the same. He watched as Craig stood talking to his sister, the one that John Paul didn’t get a chance to meet but had seen photos of, and another woman. At first glance he had thought it was Steph but then noticed that her features were a little bit more delicate than hers. The mix up could be forgiven for the fact that they had the same color of hair, plus, John Paul hadn’t seen Steph for quite some time now.
Who was she, he wondered. Looking at them together, they seemed quite close; she was latched on to his arm as he stood speaking.
‘That’s Eve,’ Frankie whispered gently in his ear as he stood, still looking over.
‘His fiancé,’ she continued and searched his face.
John Paul looked round to her and briefly caught her eyes and than looked back round.
‘Oh,’ he said, the noise escaping from his mouth.
His fiancé, he thought.
Looks like Craig has grown up and changed; a lot.
***********
Author of 'The Last Journey' and it's sequel 'Travelling Back'. And the now in production, 'Don't Look Back', a JP fic!
I'm Curty's unique Angel 
