This is a new idea I had. Rewind the story line back to when John Paul and Spike were together and Craig hadn't taken action. Spike gives John Paul a diary. John Paul writes in it at signficant points in the future [canon].
Anyway tell me if you think it's okay... This is just a little starter:

BEGINNINGS
"When you feel like you're free falling
From the edge of the earth
You're never alone
Even without friends or family
You'll have me to catch you
But if I'm not enough
You have this too
To lock your pain away
And trap your fury inside
And catch your tears on
And add your smiles to
Make this your secret fortress
A private world no one can step into
Against your wishes
Hope you don't mind
That I tucked my love between the pages
Hope you remember
One thing at the end of the day
You're amazing, John Paul McQueen
Be happy, you deserve nothing less

From the Luckiest Guy Alive...
Your Boyfriend x"

sounds like a good idea, looking forward to seeing how this one builds! x

TAINTED 10 May 2007
A sweet gift from Spike should reassure me he loves me, so why do I feel like something's missing?

Guilt overrides every other emotion
I realize I've been thumbing over the heart on the cover
I've come across something I don't deserve
Two things, if you count this journal
You should be everything to me
But my cursed thoughts stray
Toward a beautiful mess of a boy
You make my world, but he breaks it
You make me feel alive, and he kills me slowly
He doesn't even want me, my mind screams
Would it make a difference if he did? my heart whispers
Why is it always heart over mind?
I fell in love with him once and got hurt.
I have a feeling
History is doomed to repeat itself
Shame. Aching. Frustration. Angst. Fear. Betrayal.
Lather, rinse, repeat...

feedback plz♥

DOORMAT 17 May 2007
The worst feeling isn't never having, it turns out. It's feeling what you have slip through your fingers.

It takes less to erode my will than I thought
And I grow more disgusted
As I have to villify myself in vain
But I still try to salvage
The flailing "us" that barely was
I fall victim once again to smoldering eyes
That's when I grudgingly know
You'll get what you want when you want it
Wouldn't things be easier if I hadn't met you?
As I look toward his clueless grin
I decide ignorance can't be bliss
But your smugness tells me I've set a precedent
For not being able to say no
Might as well just make a sign now
"Please walk over me"

there'll be another entry before things get better, i'm afraid...

oooh
this is really good

original too!
i like it!

feedback plz♥
next part is going to be a turn for the happier...

IN A DAY 28 June 2007
Craig could make a fortune selling his beautifully packaged lies.

Yesterday
You crawled your way over
Into my arms
Pleading for forgiveness
Your tormented eyes tell me
You didn't mean one word you said
And I fail to see a single lie in them
I let you kiss me
I let you touch me
I let you breathe down my neck
I hear you whisper "I love you"
Like I'm the only one you see
And the familiar feeling rushes back
It might just last forever.

Today
You crawled your way back
Into her arms
Pleading for forgiveness
Your tormented eyes tell me
You didn't mean one word you said
And I fail to see a single lie in them
I watch you kiss her
I watch you touch her
I watch you breathe down my neck
I hear you whisper "I love you"
Like she's the only one you see
And the familiar feeling rushes back
It might just last forever.

Oops. a typo. Here's the fixed version:

quote:

Originally posted by rukrazy02:
feedback plz♥
next part is going to be a turn for the happier...

IN A DAY 28 June 2007
Craig could make a fortune selling his beautifully packaged lies.

Yesterday
You crawled your way over
Into my arms
Pleading for forgiveness
Your tormented eyes tell me
You didn't mean one word you said
And I fail to see a single lie in them
I let you kiss me
I let you touch me
I let you breathe down my neck
I hear you whisper "I love you"
Like I'm the only one you see
And the familiar feeling rushes back
It might just last forever.

Today
You crawled your way back
Into her arms
Pleading for forgiveness
Your tormented eyes tell me
You didn't mean one word you said
And I fail to see a single lie in them
I watch you kiss her
I watch you touch her
I watch you breathe down her neck
I hear you whisper "I love you"
Like she's the only one you see
And the familiar feeling rushes back
It might just last forever.

love it

tell me what you think♥

SOON 7 September 2007
I don't mind if you take your time, but please don't take my dreams...

Your vulnerability crumbles my resolve
Times when forgiving you wasn't instinctive
Are yellowing with age
I can't seem to even let go briefly
My heart isn't coming out of this in one piece
I'm just thankful we're no longer a mistake
Though I wish you didn't always have to go
You're hopelessly ostentatious
But to me it's just another
Heartbreakingly adorable detail
You seem so sure we're it
So as the truth catches up to us
I pray you'll stand your ground

Ooooooo interesting! I really like it so far, very poetic!

Hope there will be more!

quote:

Originally posted by iscreamloud:
Ooooooo interesting! I really like it so far, very poetic!

Hope there will be more!

thanks... i usually dont write fanfic, ive written a crapload of poems though, although i never tried narrative poetry/prose before

HAPPY 13 September 2007
Life hands you an awful lot of poseurs in tin foil, but cross you fingers one of these days you find your knight in shining armor.

The angry stares were fading
Time waits for us
A few days ago my world was crashing
Until you saved me in time
Now the only meaning I crave
Lies between your lips
I brush away notions you might be hesitating
Our love was as sure as this heartbeat
Nothing could stop us from rising
Surely it had to be forever
I'd like to say a few things to the cynic
Who said good things had to end