Part 17
Craig took another sip of his pint and let his hand slide under the table to John Paul’s knee, where he gently squeezed it.
John Paul turned his gaze from Summer and stared right into Craig’s eyes. His face lit up with amazement, aglow with surprise and beaming with love. His hand met Craig’s and encompassed it.
Craig knew John Paul would have been more amazed had the display of affection been public but he was taking his time. He wasn’t ready for that yet. Despite the outward appearance of not caring who knew that he and John Paul were back together, he wasn’t a brave as he looked. At times he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide away from the world, but it was only with John Paul’s strength that he felt he could carry on.
He just wished Darren, and at times Jake’s comments, didn’t get to him so much. He loved John Paul. Why couldn’t everybody else accept it?
“Oooh! Here’s Hollyoaks very own cowboys. You off to Brokeback Mountain today?” Darren approached their table.
Craig instantly wanted to move his hand away from John Paul’s. He loosened his hold but John Paul’s hand gripped tighter, harder onto his. His face showed understanding and seemed to say, “we’ll be all right, you know. As long as it’s you and me against the world.”
Craig was grateful for this and relief washed over his body, tightening out all those knots that had instantly formed when Darren had approached them. He was also relieved that the table blocked Darren’s view of their hands.
That didn’t stop Darren from noticing their hands weren’t above the table and put two and two together. “And keep those hands above board boys. This is a family place. Nobody wants to see the gay pair in the corner trying to cop a feel.”
Craig wanted to jump up but couldn’t move; John Paul’s hand still gripped his tightly. Instead he gritted his teeth, narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists.
“Just leave it,” John Paul whispered loud enough for only Craig to hear.
“Darren, get lost. You’re only jealous ’cos neither of them fancy you,” Summer said sticking up for them.
“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I’m a real man who likes real women.”
“Well maybe its time you started dressing like one,” John Paul retaliated. “Those string vests are okay if you’re a sailor centuries ago. You need to be brought back into the noughties.” He didn’t flinch an inch as he spoke; his hand still placed firmly on Craig’s.
“You know Craigy,” Darren emphasised the word “Craigy” in the most effeminate voice he could muster, “I think I’ve finally figured out who’s the more butch one and here’s a clue…” He leaned over the table nearly whispering it in Craig’s ear. “It’s not you!”
Craig finally lost it and stood up. “Darren, I’m warning you…”
“Or what? You’ll hit me with your handbag?”
Craig tried to grab Darren from across the table but John Paul stepped in allowing Darren to back away from Craig entirely.
“Just leave it Craig. He’s not worth it, yeah?” John Paul turned to the perpetrator. “Grow up Darren.”
Darren held up his open hands. “Oooh!”
Craig extracted himself from John Paul’s arms and stormed out of the pub passing all the punters who were trying to see the New Year in with a pint and jovial good humour. He went outside sitting at one of the empty tables with only his thoughts for company.
Why on earth was Darren intent on making his life a living hell? Before Craig had left for Dublin, Darren had said he respected him. Now it was just endless comments that made Craig want to desperately hide away from the world. He wanted to escape Hollyoaks with John Paul by his side, and then everything would be all right.
How could he possibly get through this when people like Darren were around? He knew he should ignore them, Darren only kept tormenting him because he got a reaction. Yet it still irritated him. He wondered if the homophobic comments would always wind him up? Or would the day arrive when they would cease to bother him?
Craig hated being pigeonholed. He loved John Paul; he was sleeping with him, but he wasn’t a stereotype. He didn’t want to be one.
Jake wasn’t helping either. He put on a façade pretending he was fine with everything but Craig knew by the look in his eyes that he still didn’t approve. He probably never would. Craig thought back to his open displays of affection with Sarah. Nobody batted an eyelid there just because she was female. Could John Paul and he ever have that openness? Would they ever feel comfortable – correction – would he ever feel comfortable with John Paul in his family’s presence?
Sometimes he wished John Paul was female. Then everything would be so different. Everybody would accept their relationship as normal and be happy for them. Why couldn’t everybody understand?
Craig felt a strong hand squeeze his shoulder.
“Are you all right?”
Craig spun around to see John Paul behind him giving him a sympathetic smile.
“No.”
John Paul came and sat next to Craig, cupping his face in his hands. Craig’s eyes darted around to check that nobody could see them. The coast was clear, nobody was around to make a comment. He could enjoy the moment without having anything to worry about.
“You’ve just got to ignore him.”
“It’s easier said than done.”
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lol 
violet- my twin- mcdeaners for life